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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
A few weeks ago when I was suffering through a post-traumatic crisis after getting my house robbed, on top of my usual chronic pain, anxiety disorder, depression and job burnout issues, I decided to see a therapist. I'd already been through 3 in a year and never felt a therapeutic bond with any of them. I was at a severely needy and lonely level and called this lady and made an appointment with her. She was listed as a therapist on my insurance plan so I went. Little did I know what a flake she would be! I enter the office 5 min. early for my appointment and there is no receptionist there. The frosted window is closed with only a sign that says "payment or copay due at time of visit". If you have ADHD or generalized anxiety disorder, you will miss the little red light with 4 black buttons below it and a small sign underneath that which says, please push button #1 for Dr. Smith, button #2 for Dr. Jones...etc. My gosh I sat there for 10 minutes before I realized I was supposed to push that button to let my therapist know I was there! I had to wait until a seasoned patient came in and showed me how to "check in." I felt so stupid at that point. Finally the therapist called me in. Instead of having me fill out a psychological history in the waiting room beforehand, she used "our time" to have me fill it in. I felt rushed and uncomfortable as she tapped her pencil and answered her voice mail while I wrote. This took me 10 min. to fill out. Now, 20 min of our appt. time have gone by including the 10 min. I sat in her waiting room going "DUH" because I was uninformed about the check-in proceedure. She glances over the history I have filled out and asks why I am here and what goals do I have to work on to get my problems resolved. I explain to her I have no goals, just feelings but she keeps pressing for goals. (I guess so she can hurry up and get me out of there right?) So, I give her a goal: to decrease my anxiety, depression and stress. Then she asks me, how are you planning to do that? Just then, her cell phone rings and she answers it. It's her husband and she starts talking about something she ordered over the internet. Okay, I guess I can handle a brief 5 minute call. Atleast she apologized for the interuption but, STILLLLL!!!!!!! So now, 25 min of our session has been used up. Next I begin talking about my chronic pain which my physician says is worsened by the psychological stress. The therapist chimes in and interrupts me by saying, "oh yah, I have a bad back and sometimes I take a Celebrex and it really kicks the pain. Last week was a terrible week for me and I got the flu! The doctor gave me Temaflu. Have you ever heard of this drug? Do you think I should take it along with the Celebrex! Gosh I just get so nauseated sometimes on those meds! It's just terrible!" Now mind you, this is her talking not me. The reason she did so much complaining to me and asking me so many questions about her meds is she saw on my patient information that I am a nurse. There went another 5 min. talking about HER. The sessions are only supposed to be 40 min now so I have 10 min left. By now, I am just completely shut down and crying uncontrollably. She asked what was wrong and I said, "never mind. I shouldn't have come here in the first place."
What has happened to good therapists? Have they all died? Retired? Or maybe only people in high-paying professions deserve and get the good therapists because they can afford them. I don't know. People have told me, "oh...go to Susan So-and-so" but then I find out she's not on my plan and charges $150 per session. Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations of what therapists are supposed to do. All I know is, I feel like I never want to try another therapist AGAIN. They are all weirdos. Thanks if you read this.
C
Posted by pegasus on August 3, 2004, at 17:31:46
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
That's terrible! Taking phone calls during session! Answering her voicemail during session! Talking about herself and her needs! Not instructing you about how the office works! Does this person have any training at all??
And, what I'm concerned about more, did she accept any responsibility for these actions and your feeling so bad? Did she understand why you were crying? Did she offer you any apology, or even support when you started crying?
I'm so sorry that you had this experience. There really are good therapists out there, I promise. I guess there are also incompetent ones, though.
Maybe you could trying calling the therapists that have been recommended to you, and explain that you can't afford their fees, and are wondering if they can recommend someone who might have a sliding scale, or lower fees, or any of the people who are covered by your insurance.
pegasus
Posted by starlight on August 3, 2004, at 18:10:17
In reply to Re: Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by pegasus on August 3, 2004, at 17:31:46
I've given up on therapists and think they're pretty useless.
Posted by Susan47 on August 3, 2004, at 19:12:47
In reply to Re: Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by starlight on August 3, 2004, at 18:10:17
Here's my solution for everything: write a letter. Tell her what you posted here (not necessarily directing her our way, aack).
She needs to know how she let you down, or she'll continue to do it to others. This has happened before, it's probably the way she is with every client. Maybe it was an off time for her, but she should've been professional enough to put everything aside for you.
Posted by DaisyM on August 3, 2004, at 21:01:20
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
It might take awhile but I think you should try again. Your post is so full of pain and you sound like you really need someone to talk to. This time, try screening over the phone better. Ask what you should do when you get there, ask what kind of therapy they do and ask if there is paperwork to fill out, can they send it ahead or leave it in the waiting room so you can get there a little early and fill it out.
This in no way excuses the rest of her behavior. I wouldn't go back either.
The flip side is, when I met my therapist, he didn't have any paperwork and didn't tell me very much about himself. He answered my questions and he asked me to tell him about myself and why I was there. At the end, he asked me if I wanted to enter therapy with him. I didn't know...so he asked me if I wanted to come back again and talk about it some more. (aha! The come back king...I should have known.) He took my name, age, address and phone number. We met again but still it wasn't him convincing me I should choose him. He was just himself and asked questions and answered mine. It was a good fit, even if I didn't know all the "standard" questions to ask. Because he let me lead. And that has turned out to be pretty important in this process.
There are good ones. Keep looking.
Posted by NVDeb on August 3, 2004, at 21:10:58
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
Wow, that sounds terrible!
I've always picked mine out of the provider book at random. I'm on my 5th (and this one is a gift from G-d, I never knew what therapy could be before now). The one before used to clearn her nails and yawn during therapy. I would bring in writings and tell her it's hard for me to talk and she would put the writings aside and ask so how are you feeling?
I guess it's the luck of the draw, and it was my time to get lucky :) I only wish this one had been around when I was 6... sigh, missed opportunities (well I guess she was around when I wwas 6, but not seeing clients :))
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 3, 2004, at 22:24:36
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
You are right about that woman. It sounds like a rough experience.
Looking for a good therapist is like looking for a: job, car, apartment, mate.....
The thing I did was search till I found one that fit.
It took me years and lots of money. I met lots of people but I could tell after a few sessions that I still needed to keep looking.
I asked around and finally my counselor for work directed me to my current therapist.
I have had only two therapists in my life that I really appreciated.
I have been in therapy since I was 10 years old and that was 46 years ago!I am sorry you had such a bad experience.
Posted by thewrite1 on August 4, 2004, at 0:29:45
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
That is the worst experience I have ever heard. I can understand your reluctance to seek another therapist, but believe me, there are good ones out there. And even ones on a sliding scale. If there's no one on your plan that you like, seek out someone on sliding scale, which is based on what you make. I found that to be a better route for me.
Posted by JenStar on August 4, 2004, at 1:44:29
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
On the positive side,
you seem to have maintained your sense of humor through this! :) Things can't be all bad when you can still chuckle (even while crying), right?Don't give up! Statistically speaking, you've found the worst. Now you can go out and find the best. I'm sure there are many decent, nice, kind therapists out there.
By the way, as bad as this is, there is a therapist I think is far worse. It is the male therapist who is having a long-term extended sexual relationship with one of the posters on Babble, and has her all confused and mixed up -- making her worse, mentally, instead of better.
Thank the lord you didn't find one like that.
JenStar
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 7:29:45
In reply to Re: Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by JenStar on August 4, 2004, at 1:44:29
Wow, what an awful experience. If she were a student in training, I sure hope someone would fail her! I'm sorry you had to deal with her issues. That is NOT what therapy is supposed to be about. Here's hoping your next experience is golden...
Take care,
gg
Posted by Cinderella on August 4, 2004, at 7:34:54
In reply to Re: Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by JenStar on August 4, 2004, at 1:44:29
LOL. What a terrific group here! So supportive! I felt more therapy in your answers than I have in months! You've all been extremely helpful. So...when can I make an appointment with one of you? Do yall work evenings? Weekends? Bah dumpah. But seriously folks. I liked the idea about sending a copy of my post (without revealing our groupsite here) to that lame loser of a therapist I saw just so she can see the error of her ways! I REALLY liked the idea of interviewing the therapist BEFORE seeing her and asking those questions you said to ask. You see, I am a kindof passive-aggressive, dependent personality who tends to want someone else to do the thinking for me and have difficulty with proactivism. (Sounds like I already have myself psychoanalyzed doesn't it???? Then why do I need a frikkin therapist in the first place? BECAUSE I AM A MESS!!!!) So asking the questions and interviewing her first sounds like a good idea. I've decided to give it the ol college try again so I made an appt. with another chic for this Tuesday. She sounded okay over the phone but ya never know. Of course I don't trust her so I will have to find out whether she is worth the $30 co-pay and taking off 1 hour from work early for. After all, time and money are precious commodities, amen? Once again, you all are SUPER people. Very empathetic and courteous. I hope I can return the favor to you too.
hugs,
C
Posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 7:46:45
In reply to Re: Therapists: Can I make an appt w/ 1 of u?, posted by Cinderella on August 4, 2004, at 7:34:54
Babble is always open! :)
Keeping my fingers crossed that Tuesday goes well...
Take care,
gg
Posted by Cinderella on August 4, 2004, at 8:30:43
In reply to Re: Therapists: Can I make an appt w/ 1 of u? » Cinderella, posted by gardenergirl on August 4, 2004, at 7:46:45
TY, GG!!!! :))
Posted by Alesa on August 6, 2004, at 11:46:11
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
I had a bad therapist experience too. I had a male pyschiatrist tell me that I would be miserable for the rest of my life, and he could just picture me at the age of 40, being an uptight miserable old woman. He listened to my family history and said there was "some" abuse but nothing to be concerned over, which wasn't true! My mother was an alcoholic and my dad was physically and emotionally abusive! Anyways, he told me to just take Paxil because I am just a depressed person, since it runs in my family, and no amount of therapy would work, just medication since it is chemical. He told me the Paxil would work, and to go to the gym and build some muscle. I'm a naturally very thin person, so I took that very personally!
When I was having problems with the Paxil, I called his office, and he had closed my file. Nice, eh? And they wonder why people are falling through the cracks and committing suicide. When you ask for help, many times you are shunned, humiliated and turned away. I asked my doctor to recommend me to a good therapist, and she told me the waiting lists are too long, so don't bother, just take meds. I need a counsellor, dammit, and everytime I try to find one, which has been for years, I have no luck.
Posted by Camille Dumont on August 6, 2004, at 15:10:42
In reply to Bad therapists: this one takes the cake!, posted by Cinderella on August 3, 2004, at 15:31:21
was this a "therapist" or an actual "psychologist" I always to with licensed "psychologists" at least they do need to have some formation on psychology, therapy and relevant stuff whereas here in Canada, pretty much anybody can improvise themselves "therapist" hence the higher proportion of "wackos"
Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2004, at 16:22:48
In reply to Re: Bad therapists: this one takes the cake! » Cinderella, posted by Alesa on August 6, 2004, at 11:46:11
Goodness gracious! Where do you live? In most areas, even the most well regarded therapists don't have overly long waiting lists. In my area psychiatrists have long waiting lists, although you can get into a clinic within a few weeks. But you can get in to see a reasonably competent therapist within a week or two. I understand from our UK posters that things don't work the same there.
Don't give up. Ask again, or ask someone else.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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