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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 21:27:23
My pdoc is leaving for five weeks or so soon - our last session before the break is this Thursday and I really don't know how to go about it. To make matters worse, I'm already edgy because the people I trust most around here are also all going on vacation (well, not all - a mission trip isn't quite a vacation, but the effect is the same) and because I only verify my schedule for college while he's away. I'm tentatively registered already and so should be locked in with a schedule that works, but if for some reason a course time changes and I can't see my pdoc anymore (his hours are limited)... there won't be any chance to work through it.
I know that I'm going to ask him for a general idea of his schedule so that I can make sure things work out when I go to register, and I know that I'll bring in my report card, because I've been supposed to for three weeks now. (My pdoc wants to put my pessimism about academics into perspective.) Other than that, though, I'm totally at a loss. There are a few things I might want to bring up, but I think they might be too serious, that I might end up stewing over them for the next several weeks with unpleasant results. I met the T who will be covering for him, but I don't know whether I plan on seeing her if anything happens as it might just make me focus more on the problem.
Any suggestions for handling this?
Posted by pegasus on July 26, 2004, at 22:12:16
In reply to Preparing for a longish break, posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 21:27:23
I think it sounds like the plans you have are good. And I agree that it's probably not a good time to talk about anything new or big. Maybe you could talk about how you feel about his leaving for so long? Or about the possibility that your schedule and his might not mesh. I know I would have some big feelings about both of those! Maybe you could talk about some plans that you have for while he's gone? Do you know where he's going?
Just some ideas.
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2004, at 22:17:30
In reply to Preparing for a longish break, posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 21:27:23
I am greatly impressed with your plans. Looks like you're doing just fine.
In a similar situation, my therapist would be the one planning the session. Trying to figure out how to peel me off his door flange as he ushered me off.
The only other thing I can think of discussing are coping resources should you need them. Anyone he might have on call. Other resources that you have. Pdoc, family, whatever. Things that you might do if you feel (insert what you might be likely to feel here). Journal, draw, whatever would be helpful to you.
Posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 23:36:04
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break, posted by pegasus on July 26, 2004, at 22:12:16
I guess I could try to talk about my feelings about the situation. Though it might be in a very roundabout way... I'm horrible at talking about things like that. When I was initially worried about my schedule (before I tentatively registered,) the only way I could tell my pdoc was to say, "Well, you know, I might have to stop going to this clinic... I might not have time to get treatment." He'll know what I mean no matter how I phrase it (he's perceptive and I'm not exactly good at hiding things!), but it might end up sounding a little funny. Or I might just end up squeaking out a few words and then breaking down - at least then he'd realize how much of a crybaby I am! I think I'll give it a shot, though. Plans... that could be good, too, though I don't have too many.
Nope, I don't know where he's going. I'm not sure he'd tell me (the most I've ever heard when he goes away is "the States"), but I suppose it's worth asking.
Posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 23:58:16
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » Klokka, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2004, at 22:17:30
I'm just hoping I can remain this calm on the actual day. The end of a session is always rough, let alone when the session has been upsetting, and I don't even want to imagine how the vacation will factor in. Hopefully I won't feel drastically worse when the last session before break starts to feel more imminent. I don't have anywhere safe to go after the session if I need to cry.
We started discussing some ways of coping last session, actually, when I'd told him I was feeling tempted to do something stupid and the people I normally might turn to were all going away. Thus far we've come up with going for a walk, which sometimes helps but unfortunately isn't always possible! Definitely more discussion needs to be done on that. I actually just see my pdoc for therapy as well as meds when needed, so there isn't any other professional to go to. Family just isn't a good place to turn, though I must say that they probably would mean well. I've met the T covering for him and will consider calling for an appointment if need be. To make matters easier, my pdoc (with permission) did fill her in a bit on my situation. It still feels like it just won't be the same, but at least it's an option. I imagine I'll do a lot of writing, too, so long as I can find a way to vent AND be vague. And it'll get better a few weeks in when the other people I'll be missing start returning, too.
Posted by daisym on July 27, 2004, at 1:41:49
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break, posted by Klokka on July 26, 2004, at 23:58:16
Don't forget about Babble as a coping mechanism. I think it can really help pass the time and ask for as much support as you need.
I like to buy shoes to make me feel better.
D
Posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 7:25:59
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » Klokka, posted by daisym on July 27, 2004, at 1:41:49
True enough! I spend enough time online anyway, and I'm starting to get used to jumping in around here.
I'm not much of a shoe person, but shopping could be an idea, too. (And a new school year would be the perfect excuse... so what if my bank account hates me for a while?)
As of now, some unpleasant stuff has come up and I think the plan is to write to my pdoc about it and hand the note over at the session, though without any expectation that it will be read before we meet again. This way, I figure I can vent and feel somewhat like I'm not alone in facing it without having to bring it up before the break. He prefers that anything I write be read aloud (by either one of us,) so I don't know if he'll agree to it, but I suppose if I explain the circumstances and offer to read it out at our next session, it should work. I can't think of any other way to go about it, but we'll see.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 8:58:44
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » daisym, posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 7:25:59
Klokka,
That sounds like a wonderful idea. I liken it to what I call a "brain dump". When I have something on my mind related to dissertation or something else that is looming, but I can't work on it just then, I try to write down the gist of it. That way, I feel like I've accomplished something, and I get it out of my head.My T is leaving for vacation next week, too. And funny, my last session before he goes is Thursday, too. So maybe we can console each other. Mine is only gone for about 10 days. Five weeks sounds difficult. But it sounds like you've got good plans so far.
As far as the therapist covering...I think you might want to consider this as an option. Kind of like a splint on a broken bone until you can get a cast, I think it can help. Of course you don't have an established relationship with her, but just having someone to talk to who is a good listener and is there just for you can help. Actually, my primary care physician, who I have mixed feelings about (boy he can drive me nuts sometimes!) was called up to active duty last year. One of the docs covering his practice turned out to be a blessing at the time I saw her. She really helped me feel okay at a time when depression was bad and I wasn't on any meds.
Good luck, and keep posting if it helps!
gg
Posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 21:02:32
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » Klokka, posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 8:58:44
Yeah, I'm hoping that writing about it will put it out of my mind until he's back so that I can deal with it more safely. I'll probably give him the gist of things anyway, but it's just not a good time to get too into it.
When is your session on Thursday? Mine's at 11 Eastern. No doubt I'll be back on here to whine within a couple of hours! It does help to post - I'm still a bit unused to things and uncomfortable, but this place has been great for support.
I still have to think about the therapist covering for him. I guess it really depends on the severity of whatever's going on - if it's light, there's little point in calling, but really painful stuff might also be too personal to share with a relative stranger. I'd probably feel better about it if I had something scheduled, but I'm only supposed to call if there are any problems.
Well, there's one more day to plan, and I'm really starting to get nervous. It's been another rough day, and I'm trying to figure out whether it's the stress that's getting to me or just plain SAD. (I notice that I tend to feel really awful and out of control some of the time around this time of year.) It might just be the topics in therapy, too... Either way, I've been struggling with my relationships with others and whether I'm really worth being in them, this fear I have that I'll fail at absolutely everything someday, and recent events with friends and family have left me feeling myself to be something of a completely worthless, unlovable circus freak. And then THAT makes me feel worse about my pdoc leaving, because (apart from posting on message boards, because then people can freely choose to read and/or reply) I can always tell myself that it's his job to put up with me, that I don't need to be beneficial to him in any way... but friendships aren't so easy. I haven't been stable these past few days, either, and I don't know whether to bring it up. I fear he'll think me manipulative, and he can't do a thing to help me now, anyway. I guess I'll tell him all the same, but it feels so pointless.
I hadn't expected to write such a long post! I guess I'm off to go write whatever it is that I need to write then, and hopefully get a good night's sleep. Three hours just isn't enough.
Posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 21:10:58
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » Klokka, posted by daisym on July 27, 2004, at 1:41:49
On a MUCH lighter note compared to my last post:
My friend had to go to the college to change programs today and wanted me to go with her because she was unhappy about the whole situation and wanted moral support. We ended up at the mall, and I had a little over $10 left after having lunch. Because we were bored, I ended up jokingly deciding to spend the money I had left over on "something to replace therapy for five weeks." I really didn't know what I had in mind, but we ended up stumbling across a really great sale where I got a nice pair of shoes (much-needed, LOL) for $10. Go figure! Perhaps this shoe thing is contagious? :) If only I could transfer it over to clothes... I'm going to college after three years of school uniforms, and I think I've officially forgotten how to buy normal clothes.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 23:23:16
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » gardenergirl, posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 21:02:32
Hi,
My appt. is at 3:00 ET. Should be an interesting day because I have to go to court in the a.m. as a witness for the prosecution for my car accident. Lovely.I hope you have a good session Thursday. I think if you tell him you are not doing well, it's not manipulative, unless you really are okay. Otherwise, it's important for him and for the T who is covering for him to know this. I always gave the people covering for me a heads up if there was anyone I was worried about when I was away. That way, if they called, I knew they would get the attention they needed.
Good luck sweetie. I look forward to hearing how it goes on Thursday.
gg
Posted by daisym on July 27, 2004, at 23:26:31
In reply to About shoes... » daisym, posted by Klokka on July 27, 2004, at 21:10:58
You just need to exercise that shopping muscle, it will come back in a hurry. We'll all help. :)
I want to be a personal shopper in my next life!
Posted by Klokka on July 28, 2004, at 15:59:38
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » Klokka, posted by gardenergirl on July 27, 2004, at 23:23:16
Hope your session goes well also. And whatever happens in court... sounds like an interesting day indeed!
Well, I ended up writing what was on my mind. I worried before the fact that I'd be deeply upset if I said I didn't expect him to read it outside of a session and he said he wouldn't, but now I'm not sure I want him to read it at all! Though I think I will force myself to leave it with him so that it will be there for reference in September. It's just that it's so much more in depth than what I normally tell him, and a bunch of weird childhood stuff came up when I tried to think of when I've felt this way before (he often tells me to do this and I actually came up with something for a change.) I haven't told anyone about it before, so I'm very nervous about it. It's not anything very serious, but I've always felt deep shame over it. It's funny how I intended to give the writing to him as a way of feeling heard and comforted, and now I'm just doing it to force myself to talk about it all when we meet again! I don't know whether I'm going to ask him to refrain from reading it until our next session, though. (I'm horrible at hiding things and need to do a lot of cleaning soon, so I definitely can't keep the papers at home for so long.) I just love the timing of all this! At any rate, I've decided that I will tell him how unstable I feel, after all.
Anyway, hope to catch you around sometime tomorrow, and good luck with your day. :)
Posted by Klokka on July 29, 2004, at 20:24:41
In reply to Re: Preparing for a longish break » gardenergirl, posted by Klokka on July 28, 2004, at 15:59:38
I saw him today, and the session went well. I don't think it's really hitting me yet that I'm not going to see him for five weeks - possibly because I need to call him next week (he's on call and then goes on vacation) to try and find a way of buying a lamp for phototherapy without my parents flipping out.
I was very afraid of giving him what I wrote, but managed it anyway. I explained the purpose behind it, and he was a bit confused because I didn't specify whether I wanted him to read it or not, but it's there now and will be dealt with in September. After that I struggled a bit with how to talk about it but not too in-depth, to the point where he said, "Well, shall we play Monopoly for the rest of the session instead?" The joys of seeing a child/adolescent pdoc. I finally managed to talk about one of the incidents which triggered this recent upset. Then we moved on to talking about how so many people I know are going on vacation and what he thinks about that. I was actually able to talk a bit about how I was afraid he really wouldn't "ever come back" (accurate, I'm afraid, because we both have nasty schedules next year and if they don't mesh...) - now THAT was a shock! We talked about trying to find a motivation behind all the negative thoughts about myself, he advised me to keep track of my dreams, and then it was time to reschedule. Our next appointment is September 10th. Yikes. :( At least I can look at it as an almost-birthday gift?
I'm still nervous about the school thing. Even if I retain the same schedule, appointments will only be guaranteed every two weeks (and then there's all those vacations he takes!) because I can only see him on Fridays and he's on call every other Friday. Tuesday's the only day I get out of school at a reasonable hour, and that's at 4... he doesn't seem able/willing to schedule appointments after that. I guess we'll see... I'm going to ask about getting in touch some other way on the weeks which don't work out, but don't expect the response to be positive. My pdoc has always been pretty willing to make things work out, but that is expecting a lot...
After the session, I decided that going shopping was preferable to going home to my parents right away. (And my tennis lessons were just cancelled, so I would've spent the money anyway, right? Perfect justification. I think this vacation of my pdoc's is going to be disastrous for my bank account.) Now I'm just looking for a way to kill time. Five weeks IS an awful long time.
With all that rambling done... Thanks to all who responded, it's much appreciated. :)
Posted by gardenergirl on July 29, 2004, at 23:02:17
In reply to Update, posted by Klokka on July 29, 2004, at 20:24:41
Thanks for giving an update, Klokka. It sounds like all things considered, it went well. It should be interesting to see what comes from recording your dreams. I had to cancel my session today due to a migraine. I should be able to reschedule for Monday morning. He's pretty good that way, and fortunately his schedule isn't so packed in the summer.
Take care. I hope you find some great sales!
gg
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 19:04:32
In reply to Re: Update » Klokka, posted by gardenergirl on July 29, 2004, at 23:02:17
Hope you're feeling better. I know how horrid migraines can be. What do you take for them? I have found Frova to be a godsend, but I know that you can't take it with some medications.
I hope I'm not being unjust to my therapist, but I think he'd charge me anyway. So if I ever get too sick to go to a session without proper notice, I think I'll call him and tell him that if he's going to charge me anyway, I'll come in and chance being sick all over his rug. :))
But maybe I'm misjudging him. I've never had to put it to the test.
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 19:09:16
In reply to Update, posted by Klokka on July 29, 2004, at 20:24:41
It sounds like a good last session, so far as last sessions before a long break can be considered good.
September 10, hmmm? Well, let's see. I'll try my infamous therapy vacation shortening technique. Weekends don't count, of course. And you're asleep 8 hours a night? That's two days a week. And of course, you have all that pre-school shopping to do, which almost counts as therapy, as long as you can spend at the same rate per hour. Is there some vacationing/relaxation time included?
September 10 will be here really really soon.
Posted by Klokka on July 30, 2004, at 21:27:36
In reply to Re: Update » Klokka, posted by gardenergirl on July 29, 2004, at 23:02:17
Hope you're feeling better, gg. One of my friends has migraines frequently and they seem awful. Hope all goes well with the session on Monday, as well. I don't even want to think about how sick I'd have to be to cancel an appointment with my pdoc - he doesn't work at the clinic every day for some reason and seems to be pretty busy.
It should be interesting to see what comes of recording the dreams. I'm just doubtful that I'll ever bring it up. It seems unimportant, even though I'm sure something useful could come of it. But another "shall we play Monopoly, then?" session ought to come around sometime!
Posted by Klokka on July 30, 2004, at 22:07:16
In reply to Re: Update » Klokka, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 19:09:16
A therapy vacation shortening technique? I love it! So that brings it from 42 (yes, I counted) to 20, a number which I've had to deal with before. Pure genius, I say. :)
Actually, shopping is much more expensive for me than therapy. Canada's health system is my best friend, at least for the moment. Since my pdoc is a physician, I don't have to pay to see him. (Or maybe it's that the clinic he works at is free, as far as I know. I'm not sure how the whole thing works with therapy.) I lucked out with him - it's hard to find a pdoc who does therapy, my file at the clinic was closed when I called him, he suggested I go elsewhere if I wanted therapy at first, and I'm more than a little picky when it comes to health care professionals, but things have worked out well enough. Of course, I guess I'm spoiled now, so finding a pdoc (and possibly T) when I turn 18 and can't go to the clinic anymore should be interesting...
No vacationing/relaxing time is included, since between school and driver's ed I'll be way too busy. At least I'll be nice and distracted. Right now the worst is not missing my pdoc (but I have to call him next week, so we'll just see about that,) but actually thinking about what I wrote! Go figure, that was supposed to make things easier. He'd better not make any comment about finding what I wrote "interesting" or else it won't be a very easy "20" days!
Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 22:15:34
In reply to Re: Update » Dinah, posted by Klokka on July 30, 2004, at 22:07:16
Posted by gardenergirl on July 31, 2004, at 14:08:44
In reply to Re: Gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 19:04:32
Actually I don't pay, so I never worry about that. Something to think about for down the road assuming some day I will see someone else. Or maybe I'll stay a student forever! :)
I tried a couple of meds for migraines (imitrex, and something else I can't remember) but the thing that works the best for me is Excedrin. And sleep. I'm not sure this was a true migraine, though. I think I'm getting a bit hyperthyroid since I started the Cytomel, because I had a nasty reaction to the novacaine yesterday at the dentist, and I am more sensitive to caffeine now.
Take care,
gg
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