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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 14:43:33
Blunder #1
Poet: I'm a total b****, you said it last week, you've got to admit it's true.T: I did not say that, you're *projecting* your thoughts onto me...
Blunder #2
Poet: I was going to just shove a note under your door and quit, I should have. I just can't do this anymore.T: You're *angry* with me...
Blunder #3
Poet: I don't want to talk about suicide, you don't want to hear it and I want to spare you of it.
T: I need to hear it, why are you *protecting* me?
Projecting+anger+protecting = transference.
Why is my warped brain doing this to me now? I don't need to protect her from my thoughts, I need her to protect me from them. At least I'm angry at her, not in love with her, that's a bit of comfort.
Poet
Posted by antigua on June 5, 2004, at 14:58:24
In reply to Transference? Me? Cannot be happening., posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 14:43:33
Poet,
I can't be much help, but I just want you to know that I'm listening. I've been worried about you and I was glad to see your posts today. I'm sorry things are so tough right now with your house, insurance, unemployment, etc. You have way too much on your mind right now. You are a wonderful person who always reaches out to help others so if we can be of help please let us know.
Being angry is o.k., maybe it will be helpful.
best,
antigua
Posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:29:47
In reply to Re: Transference? Me? Cannot be happening. » Poet, posted by antigua on June 5, 2004, at 14:58:24
Oh, Poet! I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Could it be that you're not experiencing transference so much as trying to protect yourself from a therapeutic relationship that isn't working for you? That's been on my mind today about my pdoc. I'm feeling totally hopeless, but concentrating on my anger towards him has me concentrating on how I'd like to tell him how damaging his treatment of me is, rather than concentrating on how to kill myself. That's not ideal, but it probably *is* better. Could you be doing something like that, unconsciously, for yourself?
Just one idea, and I'm sure it's projection on my part. (Poster to poster transference?)
Whatever, I'm listening, too, and hope it turns around for you soon.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 18:02:35
In reply to Transference? Me? Cannot be happening., posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 14:43:33
Poet,
I had the same reaction to discovering I was in transference with my T. In fact, I said to him, "Holy Transference, Bat Man!" It helps that I feel I can speak rather freely in psychological short hand at times. Although that may also be a way for me to find some emotional distance from it, now that I think about it. Hmmmm.I just wanted to reassure you. Transference feels really weird when you figure out that's what's happening. Given the reputation that has developed about psychotherapy and transference neurosis, and given the way it has been portrayed in the media, of course it would feel like a bad thing. I thought at the time, how can this happen to me? I know about transference, so how can I "fall into that trap?". But it's not a trap. It's not a blunder to act in a way that leads up to the conclusion. Your brain is not warped. I would say you are allowing yourself to experience an old pattern with your T in order to work through it. That's a good thing! But feels weird.
And I also had that feeling of comfort that I was glad it is not an erotic transference. I look at my T and think, no way. But I know that happens. Right now I'll stick with parental.
;)
Take care!
gg
Posted by DaisyM on June 5, 2004, at 19:22:49
In reply to Transference? Me? Cannot be happening., posted by Poet on June 5, 2004, at 14:43:33
Poet,
I think transference can be helpful in letting us work things out. It doesn't mean we are weak and couldn't shield ourselves from it. It means therapy is working.
I wish I could make things better for you. I know you have lots of help and your Therapist is taking good care of you. Don't protect her if you can help it. But don't worry about it either. Obviously she can see what is happening and is working with it.
Hang in there. Eat cream of wheat or go see Shrek. Or Harry. Or do all of it.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by Poet on June 7, 2004, at 0:46:57
In reply to Re: Transference? Me? -- Or maybe...?, posted by Racer on June 5, 2004, at 16:29:47
> Could it be that you're not experiencing transference so much as trying to protect yourself from a therapeutic relationship that isn't working for you?
I think that could have something to do with the transference. She reminded me of all the progress I've made, but I do wonder if I'd have made more progress with someone else? She's been so supportive and caring through my *crisis* (her word) that some little part of me says stick with her, but it is something to really think about.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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