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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
Well, this is it… Tuesday will be my last session with my psychologist. Since he is at the university health center and I will no longer be a student there as of next week, I will not be able to see him any more (even if I were going to be living in the area, which I’m most likely not). It’s very sad to me... He is the only person at the entire school whom I will miss. He is the only one to whom I can talk. Seeing him is one of the very few high points in my life. As I’ve (sort of) gotten to know him more over the course of the semester, I like him more and more, and not just as a psychologist; I wish I could “hang out” with him, and talk about him instead of me.
Of course, it’s kind of silly, since I know I am nothing to him. I am just a square on his schedule, and once I leave, he will close my file and someone else will get that square. I don’t doubt that he “cares” about me in some generic sense, as the person in his office during my appointment, but once I am no longer his client, he will have no vested interest in me. I don’t blame him or criticize him for this; I know it’s the way it’s supposed to be. Still, I am sad about it.
I’m planning to give him a card, which, as some of you know, I’ve been stressing over the past few weeks. I will probably give him this one (with a note including a “thanks for making me feel not quite so alone”):
http://www.despair.com/loneliness.html
...or possibly:
http://www.despair.com/individuality.html
Of course, now I just have to figure out what to WRITE on the card! I’m not really a very mushy or emotive kind of person, but I want to express some sense of the level of admiration and appreciation I have for him.
I will miss him : (
Posted by All Done on May 7, 2004, at 0:38:48
In reply to Termination looming, posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
(((((lonelygirl))))),
Gosh, it must be so difficult for you to have to terminate with your therapist. I'm glad you were able to come as far with him as you did, though. He's become pretty important to you and that's a really good thing. Hopefully, you'll be able to carry him with you even when he's not around anymore.
I think it's very nice and thoughtful of you to give him a card. Writing that you admire him and appreciate him would be fabulous things to let him know.
Take care, lg, and I hope you have a nice session on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you.
All Done
Posted by tabitha on May 7, 2004, at 1:17:49
In reply to Termination looming, posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
It must hurt to think he doesn't care for you as a unique person.. but I'll bet he cares more than you think. Once I asked Dr Bob if he cared about us as anything more than research subjects, and he said yes of course he cares. I was kind of shocked, but when you think about it, it makes sense. And it was nice to hear.
The card is a nice gesture, and very brave of you. Are you going to look for another therapist, or take a break?
Posted by Dinah on May 7, 2004, at 4:36:41
In reply to Termination looming, posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
You're Lonelygirl to him, not *just* a square on a schedule. Your space will be filled, but he'll continue to wish you the best in life.
It's a shame that you can't continue to see him, I know that would be hugely distressing to me. But hopefully you'll be able to bring what you learned from him and what you gained from seeing him with you.
I think it's great that you're going to try to convey how much he means to you. I'm not sure I'd have the maturity to do that.
Posted by Karen_kay on May 7, 2004, at 10:50:43
In reply to Termination looming, posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
((((lg)))) i really liked the one about being unique. it was my favorite. but, maybe the loneliness one would be more fitting for the ocassion?
i'm sorry you are losing your therapist, but on a good note it is under VERY good circumstances. perhaps you can hold onto that? and also remember that people can accept and care about you, just as he has and we have too.
also, i've been looking at that website. i'm ready to order a few note pads or cards. they're too funny. i'm certain he'll get a kick out of either card.
Posted by shortelise on May 7, 2004, at 11:42:14
In reply to Termination looming, posted by lonelygirl on May 6, 2004, at 19:34:02
I think they do continue to care. I correspond with the psychiatrist I had 30 years ago, and I think he still cares.
I believe that part of what makes a person able to be a good therapist is the ability to care about people. We're all lovable, right?Love,
shorte
Posted by gardenergirl on May 8, 2004, at 10:27:12
In reply to Re: Termination looming, posted by shortelise on May 7, 2004, at 11:42:14
lg,
I'm sorry you are feeling down now. It's perfectly understandable given the circumstances. I recently terminated with a number of my clients because it was the end of the school year and they were going home for the summer. Some would have terminated anyway, because they were ready. That's the ideal situation. But when it is due to external circumstances, it makes it much harder.For me, too. I am sad that I won't get to see these people that I have spent so much time with over the past year. And with those who just started with me recently, it was really hard to terminate, because we had so little time together. They were working hard and making progress, and I could see the potential within them and within the therapy relationship. It's hard to let go of that.
I do wish all of my clients well, and I wish I could somehow secretly know how they are. What are they doing with their lives post graduation, etc. How did they grow and change? But this is something I likely will never know. And that makes me kinda sad.
I would guess that your T has similar feelings. Especially if you were a bit of a tough nut to crack in the beginning. That makes your relationship now all the more special.
Take extra gentle care of yourself. Termination can bring on more symptoms for awhile. It doesn't mean you didn't get better. Just means you are dealing with more emotion right now.
(((((lg)))))
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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