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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on May 4, 2004, at 10:51:25
Things have been tough for me recently, and I've hardly been able to express any emotions to myself or anyone else except for cutting. I went for 3 weeks without therapy because me and my T's diaries have been so busy, and it's another 2 weeks until my next appointment. I'm meant to stop seeing her at the end of this academic year, and I think she is preparing me for termination by trying to convince me that I'm getting better and brushing off any comments about how awful I feel. I just wish I could express something of how I feel to *someone* but there seems to be no words or tears inside me and all I want to do is dig deeper into myself to distract me from what is inside for a moment and to let me see that I really am in pain.
I have so much collage work that I'm getting behind on that I need to get this sorted, and I can't stand this pain inside. My T has never suggested phoning between sessions or what her policy on this is, and my fear of bothering people would stop me phoning anyway.
grrrrrr.
Posted by Dinah on May 4, 2004, at 12:37:11
In reply to SI - *may trigger*/termination, posted by cubic_me on May 4, 2004, at 10:51:25
Call her. All of what you are saying sounds so familiar to me. But there are different ways of discharging that energy. My therapist and I prefer to choose talking about it. It may be that you aren't ready for termination and she needs to know. It's better than expressing yourself through your body. Please call her. If she's angry tell her it's my fault.
Posted by DaisyM on May 4, 2004, at 13:23:38
In reply to SI - *may trigger*/termination, posted by cubic_me on May 4, 2004, at 10:51:25
You need to call her. You can add my name next to Dinah's. You've been in bad shape for a month or more...does she know how unsafe you've been feeling? I think you should read her your post. If she can't fit you in, go see someone else, at least to help sort stuff out.
Try to break down your work into pieces. Do the intro to your paper at 1pm. Then take a break. Then do some reading. then take a walk. then maybe go back to the paper. That way the pile doesn't seem so high. Or get a study budy. Keep each other on track and force each other to eat and exercise.
And then post and let me know how you are. I'm worried.
Hugs from me.
Daisy
Posted by cubic_ me on May 5, 2004, at 6:31:19
In reply to Re: SI - *may trigger*/termination » cubic_me, posted by Dinah on May 4, 2004, at 12:37:11
Somewhere in my scatty brain I think that she is away this week and that is why I can't call her. I had an appointment with my pdoc today and he's prescribed me some new meds, so I'll see how that goes. Even tho' my new pdoc is really helpful and understanding, I feel restricted in what I can tell him because I don't want some things on my records (because of the job I want to do). I see him again next week to check how the meds are going.
My boyfriend is really supportive and will hug me endlessly, but I don't seem to be able to talk to him much. My T seems to think that now I'm with him, I've sorted myself out and am on the right track, but I don't feel that way.
Thankyou for your support, it means so much at the moment.
Posted by cubic_ me on May 5, 2004, at 6:41:46
In reply to Re: SI - *may trigger*/termination, posted by DaisyM on May 4, 2004, at 13:23:38
Thankyou so much Daisy, I said a bit about phoning her and seeing my pdoc in the reply to Dinah.
She does know about how unsafe I've been feeling, but I suppose I played it down and she kind of dismissed it. Doing everyday things I function quite well, and really I have to be on the verge of suicide when anyone would notice my behaviour changing etc so I guess that's part of the reason why she thinks I'm ok.
The work I've got to do is mainly revision, and I'm trying to break it down into small bits and make it more interactive/entertaining, but I keep falling asleep and waking up 2 or 3 hours later with my notes stuck to my cheek!
I'm feeling a little better today, and I'll keep you up to date. My boyfriend forces me out of the house occasionally and keeps cooking me lovely meals which would be rude to say no to...he is a lifesaver.
This is the end of the thread.
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