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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:39:00
In therapy we're slowly going back to my childhood trauma. My new house has a small room that I wish I'd have had as a child. It's a place where I could have hid and felt safe. It's too small to be a bedroom, but it's perfect for a playroom, and the door locks.
It's going to be my inner child's safe place. She doesn't feel safe anywhere, including in therapy, so this will be interesting.
Does anyone else have a safe place for their inner
child?Poet
Posted by DaisyM on March 27, 2004, at 15:13:59
In reply to Safe Places for Inner Children, posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:39:00
Wow, Poet, your room sounds so great. Everything I'm reading says you should develop a safe place for yourself so you can go there when things are intense. Will you be willing to let anyone in with you? And I suggest pillows on the floor if at all possible.
So far my inner child only feels really safe in my Therapist's office but my own office is getting there. I have one of those highly personalized work spaces, surrounded by things I love, pictures on the wall and plants. I even have a couch in my office and a tree out my window. It doesn't hurt that there is a large playroom down the hall from me either. The interesting part is that "she" is only safe when the building is empty and it is the quiet space just after closing when I'm still here (I'm here now).
Good luck with your room. I want to hear more.
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 15:24:31
In reply to Safe Places for Inner Children, posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:39:00
> Does anyone else have a safe place for their inner child?
>
<<<Perhaps you can honor your adult skills and attributes by accepting that you can see your childhood drama-trauma much more clearly since you have better equipment than you did as a child. You also have much more history to compare it all to.A drill that I've seen clients put through encourages them to see themselves in the midst of the incident. Then to evaluate the feelings of the incident from memory (scarey, painful, etc.). Then to see themslves out-of-body across the room.
From this new vantage point, they do know something painful is going on but the pain is not clouding their vision. With their out-of-body vision, they can learn and discover. From that moment, they now can process the memory and find reslolution. Before, the pain, and avoidance of pain, blocked the learning and discovery; for many people, forever!
Remember, avoidance is only a bad habit. However, it is the key to the collection of bad habits known as dysfunction. Our denial keeps this key out of reach. Chronic indecision covers it up with distractions so we can't find it.
Rod
Posted by antigua on March 30, 2004, at 16:15:45
In reply to Safe Places for Inner Children, posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:39:00
My little girl has a playroom of all her own, too. I can lock her in there and she is safe, no one can reach her or hurt her. I let her play there until I'm ready to talk to her and help her feel better. Sometimes I feel kind of silly about it, but I find it does help.
I was reading this book before I went away on vacation, which suggested that I put the little girl away so that I wouldn't have to worry about her while I was gone and she wouldn't intrude on my vacation. It actually worked... since it's my imagination, there is no sense of time so I didn't feel bad leaving her behind. She had plenty of things to play with, but mostly she just felt safe until I was ready to come back.
That said, coming back to retrieve her today for therapy was really, really hard.
My playroom is in the trees, with the sun shining in and the flowers blooming on the lawn. It's the best of springtime and I have my books and dolls, and M&Ms and something to drink.
antigua
Posted by gardenergirl on March 30, 2004, at 23:19:52
In reply to Re: Safe Places for Inner Children » Poet, posted by antigua on March 30, 2004, at 16:15:45
Oh I love that image! It sounds like a marvelous place to play and be happy and healthy.
gg
Posted by Poet on March 31, 2004, at 22:46:08
In reply to Re: Safe Places for Inner Children, posted by DaisyM on March 27, 2004, at 15:13:59
Hi Daisy,
I like the idea of soft pillows on the floor. Inner me will love curling up and napping on them.
Poet
Posted by Poet on March 31, 2004, at 22:54:56
In reply to Re: Safe Places for Inner Children » Poet, posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 15:24:31
Hi Rod,
My therapist does Reiki and other energy work, one of the things we were doing before I halted all inner child work was imagining myself with my inner child. Just watching her, then getting closer. It was "telling" her that the bad things weren't her fault that made me stop talking about my childhood for the last four or five months.
I think it does work, it's just too painful for me to agree to right now.
Poet
Posted by Poet on March 31, 2004, at 23:01:04
In reply to Re: Safe Places for Inner Children » Poet, posted by antigua on March 30, 2004, at 16:15:45
Hi Antigua,
I'm so glad your inner child has a safe place and that she feels safe when you leave her.
I bought her a stuffed bunny so she'll have a friend in her special room. I know what you mean about retrieving your inner child for therapy.
Mine will be with me tomorrow.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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