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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 5:13:10
To all,
What if everything I say is wrong? Who's gonna know? All I'm pointing out is that parents either intentionally or forgetfully don't encourage their children to be adults at the genetically appropriate time. Then the parents scratch their heads in confusion when their 23 yearold (still-a-kid) child goes to prison for committing a felony. "He was always such a good kid, too!"
If all his life he only made feeling decisions, and he never was encouraged to apply logic to life, even a little bit, he can miss the difference of right and wrong and commit that crime in ignorance. He still goes to prison! His parents may be sad and embarassed, but they don't feel culpable. "Who knew?"
80 years ago the Swiss Scientist, Jean Piaget, hinted at the not-yet-discovered "Genetic Clock" that alarms when it is time to change how we look at life. Even so, maybe Piaget is wrong, too?
Obligation to the prevailing story of life, makes us avoid these important new signals at the right time they need to be responded to. We then get to be middle aged, running on empty and running out of excuses about why this is so. If only someone had mentioned trading in our behaviors from childhood for our adult skills and attributes, we probably wouldn't have fallen into this mess.
What if I'm wrong? At age 85, we ask about life, "What was that?"
Rod
PS: If I'm right, you get a good chance at fulfillment.
Posted by Camille Dumont on March 27, 2004, at 10:35:29
In reply to What if I'm wrong?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 5:13:10
I can so relate its scary. I'm stuck with parents (dad and his gf) who can't seem to understand that no, at 25, my main interest is NOT being with my dad or phoning my dad. They keep calling me over and over, just to make sure that I'm "ok" ... been getting worse since I moved further away too.
They keep suggesting idiotic stuff ... like that I go off on a trip and not to worry, they'll take care of my rats : they live 250km away and have never had the guts to put a finger in the care ... uh hun.
And I've realized that much of my depression is linked to the fact that life seems so meaningless now. I've spent the last 24 years doing things that my parents expected of me, making choices that would please them, telling them what they wanted to hear, never telling them about the bad stuff in my life ... and feeling guilty and always inadequate and fake because I wasn't good enough ... like I owed them something ... somehow.
Its like suddenly realizing that you're this giant paper maché sculpture ... built from the layers of paper from others' expectation ... but if you look inside ... its dreadfully empty.
And I find myself asking : who am I? whats the point of life if its just doing what others want? It doesn't seem to be worth the pain. If all I am is just a fake ... then wouldn't be easier to just not be ... so yep ... parents knowing when to let you go and knowing when to stop protecting you is CRUCIAL!!!!
Posted by gardenergirl on March 27, 2004, at 13:25:55
In reply to Re: What if I'm wrong?, posted by Camille Dumont on March 27, 2004, at 10:35:29
> Its like suddenly realizing that you're this giant paper maché sculpture ... built from the layers of paper from others' expectation ... but if you look inside ... its dreadfully empty.
Holy cow! I just processed a dream with my T last session in which he had me free associate to the dead body which was in the corner throughout the dream. It was never scary to me, but I described it as if it were made out of paper mache. I also thought of an empty hornets' nest. Both of which were constructed quite intricately, but our now empty. Whoa! We didn't interpret it as you did, but I like idea. And it makes sense to me that mine would be in the corner and not central to the dream, as I am getting better and shedding old, unneccessary defenses and layers, getting to my authentic self.
Thanks for the additional insight.
gg
Posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:10:47
In reply to What if I'm wrong?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 5:13:10
Hi Rod,
Interesting.
I worked with a woman whose 24 year old son hasn't committed a crime- yet, but the potential is there. He's never held a job for more than a few months. She's clueless that it's because she goes and gets job applications for him (probably fills them out, too) and drives him to interviews. What mama doesn't do is pack his lunch and drive him to work everyday, so he quits every job for no valid reason.
You may be right.
Poet
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 15:03:34
In reply to Re: What if I'm wrong? » 64Bowtie, posted by Poet on March 27, 2004, at 14:10:47
Posted by antigua on March 30, 2004, at 16:08:35
In reply to What if I'm wrong?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 5:13:10
I would like to respond to you, but I'd like to ask a question first. Do you have any children?
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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