Posted by Camille Dumont on March 27, 2004, at 10:35:29
In reply to What if I'm wrong?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 5:13:10
I can so relate its scary. I'm stuck with parents (dad and his gf) who can't seem to understand that no, at 25, my main interest is NOT being with my dad or phoning my dad. They keep calling me over and over, just to make sure that I'm "ok" ... been getting worse since I moved further away too.
They keep suggesting idiotic stuff ... like that I go off on a trip and not to worry, they'll take care of my rats : they live 250km away and have never had the guts to put a finger in the care ... uh hun.
And I've realized that much of my depression is linked to the fact that life seems so meaningless now. I've spent the last 24 years doing things that my parents expected of me, making choices that would please them, telling them what they wanted to hear, never telling them about the bad stuff in my life ... and feeling guilty and always inadequate and fake because I wasn't good enough ... like I owed them something ... somehow.
Its like suddenly realizing that you're this giant paper maché sculpture ... built from the layers of paper from others' expectation ... but if you look inside ... its dreadfully empty.
And I find myself asking : who am I? whats the point of life if its just doing what others want? It doesn't seem to be worth the pain. If all I am is just a fake ... then wouldn't be easier to just not be ... so yep ... parents knowing when to let you go and knowing when to stop protecting you is CRUCIAL!!!!
poster:Camille Dumont
thread:328980
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/329043.html