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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
I've been in crisis mode all week (is it only Wed.?) and have seen my Therapist everyday. And will see him again tomorrow. As usual he is super gentle, supportive and helpful.
As I was getting ready to leave today, he said he wanted to let me know that "they" were going to redecorate the offices in a couple of weeks. (He has 2 offices, in different cities, which he shares with his wife, who is also a Therapist. They switch off.)I asked if he would be closing for a few days and he said no, they would do it over the weekend.
So, is this common? Let the client know that changes are afoot? Am I so fragile that he didn't think I could handle any change at all right now? Does it feel different if/when they redecorate? I want to believe I'm attached to him, not his office. But, since this is my first time in therapy, I don't know how I will feel when the office looks different.
Maybe I'm over thinking things but it made me feel like I really need to get hold of myself if he thinks changing the furniture will be upsetting for me. I mean, I KNOW I've been a basket-case lately, but still...
Posted by mair on March 24, 2004, at 22:18:01
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
Daisy - I do think maybe you're over thinking it. Think of it from a different perspective. How would you feel if he said nothing and you just walked in one day and the office looked entirely different. Were it me, I think I'd be a little offended that I hadn't been warned. The consistency of the environment is important (check out Dinah's posts on her T's new office), but also I think all long term clients feel that they have some investment in that environment. You spend alot of time there too - not enough time to have any say about how it should be decorated, but enough time fjor the environment to be of importance. I think your T giving you the heads up just shows that he understands that his decision to redecorate would be of interest to you as well.
Mair
Posted by fallsfall on March 24, 2004, at 23:01:15
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
Environment changes DO matter. So don't feel like he thinks you are a basket case. The office ambience DOES effect your therapy. When he changes it, you will notice a difference.
So don't feel weird when it takes a couple of sessions for you to get your bearings in the new environment. I'm glad he told you in advance.
My old therapist's group moved from one building to another about 6 blocks away. It was so strange to see her in a different room. Once she recovered her chairs - same chairs, just new fabric - and even that felt weird.
He's good, you're normal, and it'll feel different.
Posted by pegasus on March 24, 2004, at 23:09:39
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
Yeah, I think it's normal for a T to give warning about environmental changes. I don't think your T is saying anything about you in particular. When my T moved to a new office once, he gave everyone a nice reassuring letter with directions to the new office, and lots of statements about the good things the new office would bring. Obviously he was concerned about switching things around.
And it did matter to me. I actually liked the new office a lot better, and I think my therapy blossomed there in some ways. Coincidence maybe, but maybe not.
- p
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 24, 2004, at 23:18:32
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
((((((((( DAISY))))))))))) SORRY youre in a bad spot right now :( I will say recently my T changed his office a bit...he did not warn me I LIKE it but its thrown me a few sessions ..who knew? ...cause it looks bigger and makes me feel off at times lile less safe in a way the cozy look is lost to a nice clean look but who knew so its smart to tell all clients IMO
HUGS AGAIN
Posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 0:04:25
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
Daisy,
I think it was very thoughtful of your T to tell you about the upcoming changes in the office. I imagine he told each one of his clients, not just you.
Would it be a problem for you if he felt you were too fragile to handle the change right now? Are you feeling nervous about not appearing as strong as you normally do? Talk to him about it if you are.
My T works out of three different offices. I normally see him in just one, but I have been to the other two a handful of times. Each office has a different feel and I must admit, I actually like going to the other offices on occasion. It kind of feels like a fresh start. A bit surreal, but energizing or something. Hopefully, the changes will be a positive thing for you, but don't be surprised if it feels a bit strange at first. Kind of like a new pair of shoes. They need to be broken in before they become your favorites that you can't live without.
I'm sorry things have been rough for you lately. Don't forget to take care of yourself and let us know if we can help.
All Done
Posted by lonelygirl on March 25, 2004, at 0:19:16
In reply to Re: Environmental Changes » DaisyM, posted by Fallen4myT on March 24, 2004, at 23:18:32
I don't really like my psychologist's office. It is tiny and has only 2 small chairs (plus his desk chair). I actually like the chairs better than huge couches that you sink into, though. Also, it is not very personalized. He has a tall book shelf, on top of which are a photo of his wife (which I can catch a short glimpse of once when I'm entering the room and once when I am leaving) and a small decorative piece, and there's a framed poster on the wall behind where I sit. There are no windows in the room, and for some reason, he keeps it dim (at first, I thought the overhead light didn't work, but one time the overhead light was on when I came in, and he turned on a small lamp and then turned off the overhead light as usual). He has a large bulletin board with a lot of papers stuck to it, but they are all very impersonal -- mostly reference materials, lists of phone numbers, etc. It could almost be left over from the last person who had that office.
I don't think I would be terribly upset if he changed his office. That kind of thing really doesn't bother me much. The only thing about it is that in a way, I sort of like his tiny office because I think it kind of humbles him. I don't think I would like it if he suddenly got a huge office with ostentatious furniture and artwork, but I don't see that happening in the near future.
Anyway, I agree that you shouldn't read too much into his telling you about redecorating the office. I'm sure he was just trying to be courteous.
Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2004, at 1:14:16
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
It does make a difference. Bigger than you'd think. My therapist is slowly redecorating his office and it seems every week brings new changes. And every new change is a distraction. Because you're used to focusing on things other than the furniture. When something changes, it's just harder to focus. Or at least it is for me. What I really hate is his adding pictures or paintings that have eyes pointing in my direction. Until I get used to it, I squirm like crazy.
Not to mention the big distraction of losing my beautiful soothing safe place and moving to the shiny new location that suits him very well, but me not at all. :(
Sorry to say I have a very shiny therapist. And I'm definitely a matte finish sort of girl.
Posted by Elle2021 on March 25, 2004, at 2:03:43
In reply to Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 24, 2004, at 20:45:51
Hey Daisy,
I'm sorry to hear that you aren't doing well right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I think your T told you about the redecorating because people feel safe in familiar surroundings and with the redecorating, he was maybe worried that you wouldn't feel safe. Try not to let it bother you. ((((Daisy))))Elle
Posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 8:41:39
In reply to Re: Environmental Changes » DaisyM, posted by Elle2021 on March 25, 2004, at 2:03:43
Daisy,
First, sorry to hear that things aren't going well. I hope I didn't miss a thread about it. But I can also understand if you don't want to babble about it.About environments: at school we are encouraged to always see our clients in the same therapy rooms. Changing rooms, even within the same building can be distracting. It's important, especially in a psychodynamic therapy, to have the room be consistent in order to limit the amount of environmental interference in the dynamic. At least that's the idea. But sometimes it is unavoidable to change rooms for a session due to scheduling issues and a general lack of space for us. It feels odd for me to be sitting in a different chair or to be looking at my client in a different perspective. I don't think it always hurts, but it can be distracting for both.
Take care! You are so beautifully supportive to others. I hope you find some of what you need here, too.
(((Daisy)))
gg
Posted by DaisyM on March 25, 2004, at 12:28:17
In reply to Re: Environmental Changes, posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 8:41:39
Thanks, all, for the perspective. I guess I'm ultra sensitive right now. I was really really rocked this weekend by conversations with my mom about the past and the present. Not only is the information impossible to integrate but I feel like now I'm being forced to give up dreams I didn't even know I was holding on to.
I'm clinging to my Therapist in order to not come completely undone and I have to figure out how to begin functioning again -- there is, as always, work to be done! The world moves forward whether we want it to or not. But I guess it threw me to see "me" through his eyes, even in my imagination...am I really that sad, fragile person who can't leave the past in the past and find the inner strength to just move on? So neurotic that moving furniture might upset me? I hear him sigh in my head and yet I can't not need him right now.
The impossibility of all of this is that in 2 hours I have to go spend the afternoon shaking hands and meeting people with the potential to help the nonprofit I work for. So, I'm "dressed for success" and desperately seeking a way to hide how awful I feel.
Yesterday I told my Therapist that I had to do this thing today and he said, "most people will never notice that you feel like sh** and aren't up to par...they are too worried about what THEY look like. And your "just OK" is as good as most people's best, so don't add this to your perceived list of failures." Have I said lately how great I think he is?
And you guys too -- you're ALL great!
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 18:56:29
In reply to Re: Environmental Changes, posted by DaisyM on March 25, 2004, at 12:28:17
Need away. He isn't sighing - I promise you.
I hope that you can take a break this weekend.
You've been dealing with an awful lot lately.
He is great, and I'm so glad that you are working with him.
This is the end of the thread.
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