Posted by DaisyM on March 25, 2004, at 12:28:17
In reply to Re: Environmental Changes, posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 8:41:39
Thanks, all, for the perspective. I guess I'm ultra sensitive right now. I was really really rocked this weekend by conversations with my mom about the past and the present. Not only is the information impossible to integrate but I feel like now I'm being forced to give up dreams I didn't even know I was holding on to.
I'm clinging to my Therapist in order to not come completely undone and I have to figure out how to begin functioning again -- there is, as always, work to be done! The world moves forward whether we want it to or not. But I guess it threw me to see "me" through his eyes, even in my imagination...am I really that sad, fragile person who can't leave the past in the past and find the inner strength to just move on? So neurotic that moving furniture might upset me? I hear him sigh in my head and yet I can't not need him right now.
The impossibility of all of this is that in 2 hours I have to go spend the afternoon shaking hands and meeting people with the potential to help the nonprofit I work for. So, I'm "dressed for success" and desperately seeking a way to hide how awful I feel.
Yesterday I told my Therapist that I had to do this thing today and he said, "most people will never notice that you feel like sh** and aren't up to par...they are too worried about what THEY look like. And your "just OK" is as good as most people's best, so don't add this to your perceived list of failures." Have I said lately how great I think he is?
And you guys too -- you're ALL great!
poster:DaisyM
thread:327945
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/328218.html