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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 8:53:31
Question: Ever feel there just isnt enough time? Answer: All the time?
My bias is I expected that answer.
Something has happened in my life to slow down my awareness of time passing. Instead of jumping from event to event, and seeming to be at least five minutes late if not more, I'm early and nothing is an emergency.
What has happened to me? ...and how has it happened? It wasn't all-of-a-sudden.
Does anyone have a clue for me? Why does my life slow down the closer I get to recovery? Time passes by so much more slowly and nothing is boring anymore........
Rod
Posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2004, at 10:03:51
In reply to T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 8:53:31
My whole life has been lived in "emergency" mode. Both at work and at home, when I look at the things that other people are doing, they are always less important than the things that fall off the bottom of my list because they *aren't* important enough. This has been true both when I was super-productive, and now when I'm super-depressed. There is never enough time to do even the things that I think are critically important.
But it has changed a bit in the last 9 years (the time when I have been so depressed). I *have* learned to be on time for things (even a couple of minutes early) and I really enjoy not having to worry as I drive that I will be late. I enjoy getting to my Therapy appointment 10 minutes early so that I'm not huffing and puffing after climbing the stairs and I have some time to calm down (or get more anxious) and prepare myself for what is to come. I still let critical things slide, but it doesn't feel as much like a crisis.
I think that the difference for me was understanding that the world really could survive without me. That if there was something REALLY important, and I couldn't do it, that someone else WOULD do it. They might not do it my way, they might not do it as well as I could, I might not like the way they did it, but it would get done. This applies to lots of things that, in the past, I thought that the world would just stop if I didn't do them. Now I know that if my daughter eats a can of Ravioli for dinner, rather than a meat-potato-vegetable meal prepared from scratch, that she really will be OK - and she won't think I am a terrible parent. I know that if I don't get my videos returned on time that I will pay a late fee, but sometimes I can decide that paying the late fee is worth not going out of the house on a special trip to return it on time.
I guess it has most to do with my interpretation of what "critical" means. I'm more layed back, so I can decide what to spend my time on (rather than feeling that I HAVE to do it *ALL*). And the luxury of not freaking out because it isn't all getting done is one of the things that I chose to spend my time on these days.
I'm not sure this is what you are experiencing, but it has made a positive change in my life.
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 21:11:18
In reply to Re: T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....? » 64Bowtie, posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2004, at 10:03:51
Posted by DaisyM on March 21, 2004, at 23:48:27
In reply to T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 8:53:31
I've been thinking about time a lot this weekend. I think when people die unexpectantly we all examine how we are spending time. I lost a friend last week and I am soul searching about why her. I also had my first born leave home this year and that has changed EVERYTHING as far as how we spend our time. I have more "free" time now than I did last year and I am choosing not to fill it up with work. (OK, I'm trying to choose that.)
The urgency that drives us, I think, is naturally slowed down by therapy. We are asked to stop and think about how we feel about things, not just move through life. At least for me, this is totally new.
I don't perceive time as slowing for me, but instead as being more in my control.
This is interesting to think about --though I do feel like I'm Babbling (ha!) a bit.
BTW -- I've only been late to therapy 2x in 10 months because I DON'T want to answer what it MEANS that I'm late nor do I want my reputation as the perfect therapy client tarnished!
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 22, 2004, at 10:38:24
In reply to Re: T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by DaisyM on March 21, 2004, at 23:48:27
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 22, 2004, at 11:15:19
In reply to T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 8:53:31
> Question: Ever feel there just isnt enough time? Answer: All the time?
><<<Its so great here. Chat rooms start sounding like the Howard Stern show. Now, the visual pictures don't make me, an ex-USNavy submar(ee)ner, blush ever. I just want more from people than stories that amount to their unresolved sexual issues.
Chat rooms seem full of it...... So, one more time, let,s thank Dr Bob for the aesthetically pleasing site. Looks good so it can feel good, toooo....
back to the thread...
I have noticed since Jan 2000, that when I don't spend so much time squabbling with myself in my own head, I'm more aware of what's going on around me. If you assume that since sleep makes time go by in an instant, and daydreaming seems to cause time to pass quickly, toooo, then being in your own head is like daydreaming and the pain and suffering going byebye would be a good tradeoff for not getting things done or missing appointments, etc.That sort of reasoning frightens me! Logically you can't find any facts to support the decision, yet the reasoning seems complete. It was all done by feelings! No logic, all feelings. Then I remember that kid-reasoning sounds like that. Hmmmm.....
Anyway, as I get away from these distracting thoughts by way of my hard work toward recovery, I don't have to take so much reasoning-time trying to avoid-getting-caught doing something illogical or just bad. As I drive on 101 or the 280, I can view the surroundings and not have the news-radio station blaring in my ear.
I may actually be spending just as much time in my head thinking, because I'm getting alot more done as planning and goal setting, instead of pain and suffering avoidance. Meanwhile time travels more slowly today, and I'm not missing a thing!
Rod
Posted by DaisyM on March 22, 2004, at 13:37:37
In reply to Re:Re: T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 22, 2004, at 11:15:19
I'd like to drive 280 everyday without the traffic, it is so beautiful.
The other thing that occurs to me about time is television. I don't watch it much, music specials and Smallville are my thing -- but TV really eats up time and leaves very little room for being in your head. And after therapy, I want to be in my head for awhile to process what it happening.
Of course, cooking and baking allows simultanous thinking and productivity and I really like that.
I do worry about the time impact of therapy on my life. Not only the sessions but the aftermath can result in totally unproductive evenings and I hate that. I'm still not very good at containment in the initial 24 hours.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 22, 2004, at 16:56:51
In reply to Re: T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....? » 64Bowtie, posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2004, at 10:03:51
I don't know if I totally understand your question but for me when anxious I am always in a hurry and well got use to the pace. I have seldom in my life been late but think about it we live in a high paced world. I find myself in the tub with the cell phone near by..as I am not a brain surgeon lol so why ya know lol.... Our TV sets etc are on instant ON and so much...its the world really and you adapted
This is the end of the thread.
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