Posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2004, at 10:03:51
In reply to T....I....M....E---S..L..O..W..S-DOWN!....?, posted by 64Bowtie on March 21, 2004, at 8:53:31
My whole life has been lived in "emergency" mode. Both at work and at home, when I look at the things that other people are doing, they are always less important than the things that fall off the bottom of my list because they *aren't* important enough. This has been true both when I was super-productive, and now when I'm super-depressed. There is never enough time to do even the things that I think are critically important.
But it has changed a bit in the last 9 years (the time when I have been so depressed). I *have* learned to be on time for things (even a couple of minutes early) and I really enjoy not having to worry as I drive that I will be late. I enjoy getting to my Therapy appointment 10 minutes early so that I'm not huffing and puffing after climbing the stairs and I have some time to calm down (or get more anxious) and prepare myself for what is to come. I still let critical things slide, but it doesn't feel as much like a crisis.
I think that the difference for me was understanding that the world really could survive without me. That if there was something REALLY important, and I couldn't do it, that someone else WOULD do it. They might not do it my way, they might not do it as well as I could, I might not like the way they did it, but it would get done. This applies to lots of things that, in the past, I thought that the world would just stop if I didn't do them. Now I know that if my daughter eats a can of Ravioli for dinner, rather than a meat-potato-vegetable meal prepared from scratch, that she really will be OK - and she won't think I am a terrible parent. I know that if I don't get my videos returned on time that I will pay a late fee, but sometimes I can decide that paying the late fee is worth not going out of the house on a special trip to return it on time.
I guess it has most to do with my interpretation of what "critical" means. I'm more layed back, so I can decide what to spend my time on (rather than feeling that I HAVE to do it *ALL*). And the luxury of not freaking out because it isn't all getting done is one of the things that I chose to spend my time on these days.
I'm not sure this is what you are experiencing, but it has made a positive change in my life.
poster:fallsfall
thread:326643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/326657.html