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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 0:09:23
Not in therapy, but here on Babble. There are for me. :( And I'm pretty sure it's not because I'm afraid I'll be found out in my real life. Because if anyone from my real life found this site, they'd probably recognize me, and what I have already admitted would ruin my life well enough.
Posted by antigua on March 1, 2004, at 8:31:06
In reply to Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 0:09:23
Absolutely. I'm afraid of the reactions (or non-reactions) of other people, even anonymous ones. I know that means I'm projecting my own fear onto others, but I don't see much of a difference right now. Keeping myself safe is important.
antigua
Posted by All Done on March 1, 2004, at 8:49:28
In reply to Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 0:09:23
I can think of one specific thing I've kept to myself and I know many times I hesitate to or don't post something because I worry a lot (too much) about what others think of me. This is odd to me because all the Babblers have been nothing but kind and supportive and have given me no reason to withhold anything, but that's the way I am with others in my life as well. I've always struggled to fit in and I guess this is just my way of trying.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 1, 2004, at 13:01:03
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss? » Dinah, posted by All Done on March 1, 2004, at 8:49:28
Yes I hold back a bit cause I am afraid someone who knows me may identify me with certain information
Posted by Karen_kay on March 1, 2004, at 13:33:55
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Fallen4myT on March 1, 2004, at 13:01:03
I hold back somethings.. Things that I've done and don't want anyone to know. Things to protect the image others may have of me... Yes dear, I hold back a lot...
Posted by B2chica on March 1, 2004, at 13:49:50
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Karen_kay on March 1, 2004, at 13:33:55
yes. There's a ton of stuff. mostly my paranoia of being identified here. But from reading this thread...i'm not alone. this is even more reason i love all you folks. Finally a place of people that could Understand me!!
B2c.
Posted by terrics on March 1, 2004, at 15:09:50
In reply to Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 0:09:23
No, I am not afraid to discuss anything here. Nobody knows me here and nobody from the outside would recognize my name. The worst that could happen is embarassment. terrics
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 16:16:21
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss? » Dinah, posted by terrics on March 1, 2004, at 15:09:50
I wish I could figure out whether it's a sensible reticence about things that are mine, to me, and shouldn't really be shared.
Or if it's an unnecessary shame about things that aren't shameful. I think I've recently become something of an activist and am a bit ashamed of being ashamed, if that makes sense.
Is there a guide somewhere? Dr. Bob? Is there a guide to sensible on board disclosure?
Posted by missamor on March 1, 2004, at 17:20:16
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 16:16:21
i have never once considered who any of the alias names represent. i have not once tried to imagine their situation and match with someone whom i think it could be in real life. unless you tell ppl you post here and give them your name, i think the chances are highly unlikely of anyone being recognized. or am i wrong and its happened to ppl?? i guess i really dont know. my therapist told me not to visit sites such as these, but never even asked the address. so shes not checking up to see if i post, she just thinks i get anxious reading and posting so she thinks its a bad idea. maybe i have something new to worry about!
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 2, 2004, at 15:43:12
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 16:16:21
> Is there a guide somewhere? Dr. Bob? Is there a guide to sensible on board disclosure?
< I know I risk being accused of wearing KNOW-IT-ALL underware, however.....
When I assigned myself goals of maturity and autonomy, I gave up my right to ask. Maturity made me immune to the impune (of my character). Autonomy is a two edged sword: Infinite freedom in exchange for infinite vulerability. Bear in mind that autonomy is a goal not yet achieved, so I have many aligator infested swamps of life to traverse. Armed with courage, curiosity, and highly developed abilities of perception, I continue to close in on my goals.
Specifically to your point, if I evaluate experiences as feel-goods are OK and feel-bads must be avoided, my life will not work and I will be a mess. I gave that plan up in 1988. I now evaluate the perception on its "multidimensional" merits, which as a child I lacked the wiring to do. I still have all my fingers and toes, so I haven't lost anything in the process.
In 1989, I risked telling what I saw as my biggest darkest secrets, I got laughed at as a bigginer. Within seconds, I was laughing, toooo! I instantly saw the folly of my label. That's all it now was, a label of "Biggest darkest secrets".
When I mix logic with feelings, I perform at my best. When I revert to what seems the safety of my feelings, I miss the mark. When I ignore my feelings, stuff blows up. I must find the harmonic of logic and feelings in concert to be effective universally. I hope I am now close!
Ignoring what might irritate others is crazy, even in autonomy. Challenging their irritation might be a noble act, though.
Find your harmony. And remember, avoid avoidance.
Rod
Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 17:26:52
In reply to Re:Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss? » Dinah, posted by 64Bowtie on March 2, 2004, at 15:43:12
It's a purely pragmatic question, I'm afraid. Nothing emotional about it. There are possible advantages and possibile (very real) disadvantages. And I have a pretty good idea of both. I just can't figure out how much weight to give the disadvantages.
Posted by 64Bowtie on March 2, 2004, at 18:44:39
In reply to Re:Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss? » 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on March 2, 2004, at 17:26:52
"Freedom's just another word
for nothin' left to lose".Sooooo, can you withstand (strength) the worst they can dish out, without giving up your personal power (ability to make a difference)? Also, what would you gain by risking your strength and power? Simple questions really.
Only tough when you are wracked with indecision and denial. Did I ever share how indecision locks up your ability to perceive new stuff and denial throws away the key?
Rod
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 3, 2004, at 0:09:45
In reply to Re: Are there things you're afraid to discuss?, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 16:16:21
> Is there a guide somewhere? Dr. Bob? Is there a guide to sensible on board disclosure?
Sensible is in the eye of the beholder. Have you discussed this with your therapist?
Bob
Posted by Dinah on March 3, 2004, at 0:51:16
In reply to Re: sensible on board disclosure, posted by Dr. Bob on March 3, 2004, at 0:09:45
But you knew that. ;)
This is the end of the thread.
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