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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on February 25, 2004, at 18:17:26
I have a question. When you admit your transference to your therapists, do your therapists help you in overcoming it, or offer suggestions on how to overcome this painful attraction to them? Mine didn't. He accepted it as normal, but didn't really tell me what I can do about it.
Pinkeye.
Posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 20:13:11
In reply to Do therapists help you in overcoming transference?, posted by pinkeye on February 25, 2004, at 18:17:26
It depends on the therapist. It may also depend on the orientation of therapy that they do (CBT, Psychodynamic, humanistic etc.)
My CBT therapist didn't even recognize that I had a transference. My Psychodynamic therapist handles them with incredible skill - and makes everything all better. I'm not saying that CBT therapists can't or don't help with transference - just that my particular one was not helpful.
I would suggest that you bring the subject back up and ask what he would suggest for you to do. Ask him if he intends to help you with this.
Posted by shortelise on February 25, 2004, at 22:49:34
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference? » pinkeye, posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 20:13:11
At times I have really wanted my therapist to explain the therapeutic ... dynamic ... the process in the terms in which he sees it. When I felt angry with him, enraged, it might sometimes have helped if he had said, hey, you're not really angry at me, you're angry about ----. But he didn't do that, not in so many words. And later I would see, surely because he was guiding me, what I was really angry about. He just let me live it, let me feel whatever it was. I think that might be an important point of therapy, to let people feel their feelings. I for one wasn't given the opportunity to do that sometimes. I forgot it was allowed.
I begin to wonder if what I write here is mundane or silly. If it is, would someone please clue me in? Thanks.
ShortE
Posted by tinydancer on February 26, 2004, at 1:28:53
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference?, posted by shortelise on February 25, 2004, at 22:49:34
I think we have discussed transference but I am averse to describing my feelings as transference in the first place. I would rather examine my feelings and how they relate to my history and deal with them in a concrete way. I draw, write in my journal I have for in between sessions, and discuss my feelings with my T.
I don't know if a T can help you overcome transference. I believe it is a process, a not so highly unusual one either! But I understand what the others have posted here. It is helpful to have our feelings and reactions illuminated by someone else.
Posted by antigua on February 26, 2004, at 7:20:40
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference?, posted by shortelise on February 25, 2004, at 22:49:34
What you have to say is important, not mundane or silly. Please keep posting.
antigua
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 26, 2004, at 8:25:17
In reply to Do therapists help you in overcoming transference?, posted by pinkeye on February 25, 2004, at 18:17:26
well, my T, who seems to be an eclectic mix of psychodynamic and CBT, accepted the transference when he learned about it. However, we have not discussed it since. It is actually strange though. The minute I confessed my transference and the minute he just accepted it, and didn't deny my feelings nor encourage them, I found I felt a lot better about the situation and had less intense feelings.
Frankly, I wish he would bring it up, but the "moment of truth" was slightly awkward, I have never brought it up again. Before I brought it up though I brought in Deborah Lott's book for him to read which he said he did and he said he learned a lot about transference from it. It was AFTER he said this that I felt I could bring up my own transference. It is clear though he is uncomfortable about the whole subject though. I wonder if male therapist/female client transference is more scary to the therapist than say female therapist/male client, or therapists and clients of the same sex. Possible lawsuits and such.
Posted by All Done on February 26, 2004, at 9:06:16
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 26, 2004, at 8:25:17
>It is actually strange though. The minute I confessed my transference and the minute he just accepted it, and didn't deny my feelings nor encourage them, I found I felt a lot better about the situation and had less intense feelings.
Miss Honey,
I experienced the same thing. Except that I had been kind of enjoying experiencing the feelings and emotions that I hadn't experienced in a while. I've told Beefcake that I miss the intense feelings. He says he thinks I got scared. Of what? Dependency? Intimacy? Trust?
Nah. Not me ;).
All Done
Posted by shortelise on March 1, 2004, at 18:44:44
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference? » shortelise, posted by antigua on February 26, 2004, at 7:20:40
thanks, antigua. Everyone here seems to know each other to a greater or lesser degree. It feels hard to become a part of this community, as if there is some sort of code I don't know.
ShortE
Posted by antigua on March 1, 2004, at 21:17:51
In reply to Re: Do therapists help you in overcoming transference? » antigua, posted by shortelise on March 1, 2004, at 18:44:44
I know what you mean about feeling like there is a code. I'm not sure of it either (maybe there really isn't one!), but just go with what feels right for you. That's what I try to do. All I do know is that if you need help, there are people here who care about you and will help you if you ask.
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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