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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 9:18:22
i want to stop talking to my t ..
he make me feel like i screwed up my appointment time when i did not...he even found his error on his computer and did nothing to ease my frustrations..
he does not agree with my pdoc dx..
he is way off base and keep concerning himself with things that i feel are "non sense"(childhood issues)
maybe i am the way i am because of the past..i keep telling him i was this way in the past..
he stuck a teddybear infront of me and said it was me as a girl...talk to her..how does she feel...
i did not but told him to "get that fn' thing away from me"
he also asked if i concidered going to a residental home...
i left there feeling so confused and unsure of my own state of mind..
am i "off base"
oh yah my husband said he want s me off all medication..i just dont know who has my best interest here...
i feel lost..
j
Posted by Karen_kay on January 29, 2004, at 9:45:02
In reply to do i dare?, posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 9:18:22
((((jyl))))
I would have reacted the EXACT same way you did to the teddy bear thing, I swear. I may have thrown the blasted bear at my therapist, and I'm not one for violence. And the computer error, I can't believe that he didn't try to ease your frustration with the situation.How long have you been seeing your therapist? Could you try talking to him and telling him that you are confused about who has your best interests at heart right now? I always find it's best when I'm upfront about how I'm feeling in regards to therapy and especially my feelings towards my therapist. If I have a beef with him, it's best if I tell him about it and work through it.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. But therapy should focus on what you want it to. If he wants to talk about things that you don't want to focus on, say so. Or tell him that you don't wish to discuss that right now. If he gets upset about it, then it's his problem, not yours.
But, are you sure that those "issues" are nonsense? I always thought some things were nonsense too, but it turned out they weren't...Sorry, just thinking out loud. Don't let him push you harder than you can be pushed, but at the same time be willing to be pushed a little, ok?(((jyl))) I'm thinking about you. And if your meds are helping, tell your husband to kiss my butt. It may not be helpful to tell him to kiss yours, but you can always tell him to kiss Karen's :)
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 10:28:48
In reply to Re: do i dare?, posted by Karen_kay on January 29, 2004, at 9:45:02
thanks for the post karen..
and for the visual of hubby kissing your butt..
i have a problem when people "rub" me the wrong way i ditch them...
but i do think this "t" is not the one for me,,i have seen him for 6 months and i just am seeing it now..i dont want to hurt his feeling either..
i can help but to think he wrote big black "x's" in my file for being difficult...
i put on the "grease" soundtrack to lift my spirits,,and its working a bit..
thanks again "freddy my love"
j
Posted by Karen_kay on January 29, 2004, at 10:53:28
In reply to Re: do i dare? » Karen_kay, posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 10:28:48
In that case, I don't know how many big black X es I have in my file :) I'm not too in to that "talking to my inner child" or "talking to my father" (who's dead) or talking to anyone other than the person sitting in the room. Sorry, I just don't buy it. I'm glad other people do, I'm just one of the people who gets highly offended when somone tries to make me do it. I feel like a fool, and I hate feeling like a fool.
If you don't think it's working, then I'd suggest finding someone new. But, if it's just because of a few rough sessions, I'd talk to him about it. Let him know that you didn't like that approach (if that's what it was) or what you didn't like.
BUTTTTTTTT, if you seem to have a problem with ditching people when they rub you the wrong way, wouldn't it be a good thing to try talking things through???I know, I'm a living, breathing, typing contradiction.... I do that quite often... I'm very indecisive. I prefer to say openminded :)
Posted by Penny on January 29, 2004, at 11:07:50
In reply to do i dare?, posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 9:18:22
(((JYL)))
Several things come to mind...
First of all - you asked, 'am i "off base"' - and I would have to say, not at all dear!
Regardless of whether or not childhood issues are a factor with you or not, if you don't want to work on them, then it won't do any good for him to push you in that direction! As for the talking to a teddy bear thing, I, too, can't get into that. My former T wanted me to carry a pic of myself when I was 3-4 years old with me, so that when I started negative self-talk I could pull it out and remind myself that I am not bad - look how I was when I was innocent? I saw her point, but it didn't work well for me. I don't like my inner child (!!!) so trying to be nice to her and connect with her doesn't work all too well. It wasn't a bad idea, and it might work for some, but it didn't for me, and that's okay. My current T doesn't talk about the 'inner child'.
When you say he doesn't agree with your pdoc's dx, how different is his diagnosis?
And pardon me for not recalling, but what do you think of your pdoc? Do you trust him?
The medicine thing with your hubby - I know we've talked about this before - he doesn't seem to understand where you are, what you are going through. If YOU feel the meds are helping, then tell him that THAT topic (the topic of your taking meds) is not up for discussion. Try to trust your own instincts. I know it's hard, especially when the meds aren't really working that well and you start wondering whether they ever will, but do you recall what it was like before the meds? For me, it was bad. And I've gone through med-free periods, breaks, so to speak, and that didn't work either. Surely, some folks can do without meds - I'm happy for them - but many of us just can't. There's no question. I try to remind myself that if I am dealing better WITH the meds than WITHOUT, then clearly they're doing something, even if what they're doing isn't good enough. Something, IMO, is better than nothing. If it keeps you hanging in there today, then deal with tomorrow when it gets here.
I think you should be honest with your T about how he made you feel. Tell him that you've had enough of childhood issues and you don't want to discuss that anymore.
What kind of residential home? What does he think that would achieve?
I think YOU have to have your best interest at heart - I wish I could tell you who to trust, but I don't know the answer, other than to say that you really need to try to trust YOURSELF.
I think you do know what is in your best interest, JYL. Your post here is clear and purposeful, so you see the problem and you are searching for the solution - you do know what you want for yourself. Stick with that.
Sorry if I'm not much help.
Many hugs and hand holding, if you need it.
P
Posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 12:27:06
In reply to Re: do i dare? » justyourlaugh, posted by Penny on January 29, 2004, at 11:07:50
of course you were of help penny..and thankyou.
i will talk with my pdoc(husband wants to come too)before doing anything..
i will trust myself...
j
Posted by Poet on January 29, 2004, at 15:45:12
In reply to do i dare?, posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 9:18:22
Hi JYL,
I think I'd rather talk to a teddy bear, than an empty chair which my therapist has had me do. I could bounce a teddy bear off her head, the chair's too heavy.
My therapist promised me we wouldn't go back to my childhood until I'm ready, but last week I was so happy over my new job that I let my guard down. I said something and she said "good, you're ready to talk again.
Today, I might throw a pillow at her, since the chair's too heavy.
Maybe you feel lost because you're not sure who to listen to and you're afraid to trust your own instinct, I know that's one of my problems.
I hope you sleep well tonight and have summer dreams.
Poet
Posted by Karen_kay on January 29, 2004, at 16:37:13
In reply to Re: do i dare? » justyourlaugh, posted by Poet on January 29, 2004, at 15:45:12
> I think I'd rather talk to a teddy bear, than an empty chair which my therapist has had me do. I could bounce a teddy bear off her head, the chair's too heavy.
**I hear that! My therapist once pretended to be my father and kept apologizing and actually said, "And tell your sister I'm sorry for the things I did to her too." Now, I had tears in my eyes because my father's been dead for a few years and I miss having a father. Not because I accepted the apology. He seemed quite pleased with this approach, and still brags about it to this day. I tell you, if I could have lifted both him and that chair and heaved it out the window, I would have. I'm surprised I didn't. Talk about self-restraint on my part. I didn't think I had it in me.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2004, at 20:02:58
In reply to do i dare?, posted by justyourlaugh on January 29, 2004, at 9:18:22
Sorry, JYL. :( I had thought this therapist was giving you reason to trust him. Darn them for letting us down! I hate the gimmicky things myself. I won't punch my therapist's cushions when I'm angry. I just won't.
Don't let your husband convince you to do something that's not in your best interest. I'm glad you're going to talk it over with pdoc.
This is the end of the thread.
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