Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 291010

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Re: Therapy gripe

Posted by naiad on December 18, 2003, at 11:39:00

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 8:39:44

Wow, I wish I had the problem of my therapist talking too much. As someone else on this thread said, its the silence that kills me. I really think I am answering a question and then bingo back comes another question to dig deeper or clarify. And he stares at me -- I guess looking for some body language clues. I only sense this,of course, becuase I am looking around the room, out the window or down at my shoes.

When he does talk, I am enthralled because he loves literature and quotes poets. He also has a beautiful. melodius voice which I find comforting and soooo sexy. Of well, thats another problem I have...transferance. It's hard for me to feel critical of him since i believe he knows what he is doing, and I am the clueless one.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Re: You are TOO much! » Karen_kay

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 18, 2003, at 12:08:19

In reply to You are TOO much! » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 11:20:09

I have been laughing for 10 minutes about my new agenda

2 - 2:49 Transference

2:49-2:50 Holiday greetings and petty annoyances

That is GOLD!

And don't get me wrong, he does let me talk about what I want to talk about. A lot of times I'll start the conversation but then he'll steer it onto a topic which I don't find particularly helpful (although he must think it is helpful) so we end up discussing something sometimes which I have no interest in. This way I KNOW at least he sees what I want to talk about.

And by all means, please use and agenda, no problem!

I think I was too shocked to know how to react to the teeth picking. It hasn't happened again though. Maybe if he does it again I'll produce my compact mirror out of my purse for his use.

 

Re: You are TOO much! » Karen_kay

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 18, 2003, at 12:13:45

In reply to You are TOO much! » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 11:20:09

I make sure we both have a copy of the agenda, but I don't really mark off when the issue has been addressed. I am laughing so hard now, this sounds COMPLETELY ludicrous the more I think about it!

I'm going in there this afternoon completely giddy. Can't wait to show him my new agenda complete with times.

 

Re: You are TOO much! » Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 12:41:52

In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 18, 2003, at 12:08:19

> I think I was too shocked to know how to react to the teeth picking. It hasn't happened again though. Maybe if he does it again I'll produce my compact mirror out of my purse for his use.

I, personally, think you should wrap up some dental floss and give it to him for Christmas. But you have to include a card that says he has to use it BEFORE your session, not during!!!

sorry...couldn't resist. this is too funny.

P

 

Re: Therapy gripe

Posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 12:44:12

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe, posted by Joslynn on December 17, 2003, at 15:59:21

My pdoc usually sees me last thing on Friday evening, and I guess he feels especially comfortable with me, b/c if he hasn't eaten his dinner yet he usually asks if it's okay if he eats in front of me. Which I don't mind, b/c I make a point of eating before I go, because I never know how long I'm going to have to wait to see him. Sometimes he's right on time (rarely) and sometimes he's 2-3 hours behind. But I'm not complaining, b/c he spends as much or more time with me as with his other patients. I'm usually in with him for about an hour.

P

 

Re: Therapy gripe » Penny

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 13:00:11

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe, posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 12:44:12

What, he eats in front of you? Like a few grapes or a meal? I go into my therapist's office and he always has snacks open in his office and offers then to me (See, he has perfect manners, unlike Miss Honey's... :).... But, back to you Penny...

Does he eat like a whole meal? I might be interested to know what my therapist eats but I would be extremely upset if he ate in front of me. I think I would be upset if he ate anything, how could he be free to comment? I get upset when my therapist coughs. I find it distracting. But, if you aren't upset, then you are a bigger person than I am..

But, did you say he **2 or 3** hours behind?? Do you wait for him?? What is that??? Oh man, I'd be fuming!! Do you wait in the waiting room for 3 hours? Maybe I read this wrong. Please clear this up. This is causing me to have some transference issues with my therapist. I'm getting mad at mine because yours makes you wait that long. I get upset when I have to wait 1 minute in the waiting room. I couldn't imagine! Please let me know soon... I sense a panic attack coming on :(

 

Re: You are TOO much! » Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 13:07:17

In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 18, 2003, at 12:13:45

I think it is SO cute that you produce an agenda! But, it shows that maybe you are stuck in "business mode." Next time, maybe you could do a power point presentation as well? Ha ha...
Or highlight some sections that he needs to pay particular attention to? (Such as transference)

How did you come up with the idea of an agenda? What was his reaction the first time you brought it in?
I think it is cute... :)
I'll try it, but just once. I'm sure my therapist will laugh for about 20 minutes.

 

Re: You are TOO much!

Posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22

In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 13:07:17

This is great. Absolutely great.
How vulnerable we are in those chairs/couches sitting across from these beings. How we notice every little things.
Tooth-picking....way better than nose-picking which would be grounds to flee immediately and forever but gross nonetheless.
Eating in front of you? Wow. I don't want to know that they eat or do other human functions. I hated when my former one occasionally let me in and said he's going to the bathroom and would be right back. I think he had me go in to his office first, rather than continue to wait in the waiting room because I would have heard him peeing in the little bathroom off the waiting room. I definitely would not have wanted that! It was bad enough picturing that he was actually in the bathroom, holding his.......
Anyway....my current therapist is in her 50s,female, very prim and proper,wears expensive real jewelry, has a mink coat hanging there, wears very high heels with pointy toes, has died steaky blonde hair - everything opposite from me. And then one day I notice for the first time a TATOO on the inside of one ankle of a rose. I couldn't believe it - it so didn't fit. And I was pre-occupied with it after that - like did she have this all along and I never noticed it because she usually wears boots, or crosses her legs so I only see the other side of the ankle. It just didn't fit.

 

Re: Therapy gripe » Karen_kay

Posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 13:22:38

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe » Penny, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 13:00:11

ROTF!!!!!!!! OMG - you are SOOOOO funny Karen Kay!!!! Thanks for the laugh.

When my pdoc eats in front of me, it's like a meal - like a sandwich or something - not like a snack. And we talk during that time - it's not therapy like with my therapist, but we catch up on the week or however long it's been since I've seen him. He's a fast eater, so it doesn't take long, and he *always* asks my permission. Note: he usually sees me at 6 p.m. or later on Friday night, and he's been in the office ALL DAY, and is sometimes there seeing patients until midnight or so. So I don't begrudge him his evening meal. I don't know if he eats in front of other patients or not, but it doesn't bother me.

As for the waiting - yeah, sometimes if he's running really behind I might wait for 2 hours or so. One time he had an emergency admit to the hospital that he had to arrange for another patient and I ended waiting even longer. I was given the option of rescheduling, but I didn't really have anything better to be doing anyway, and I had my book with me, so...

I just go to his office prepared. I bring my journal, a book, sometimes crosswords or cross stitch or something. Lately he's been more on time than not, but it all depends.

But, to me, this is a small price to pay for the amount of access I have to him. Like I said, I'm usually in with him for an hour or more. And I can page him ANY TIME day or night, and he'll call me back. I called his office one night at 11:30 p.m. and fully didn't expect him to be there, but he was, and he was on another call, and I was really upset, and he called me back and I was on the phone with him for like 30 minutes. He didn't charge me - he doesn't charge for phone calls. He's given me his home number, just in case. He helps me out with my meds. He waives part of my fee b/c he knows I can't afford to pay him the entire amount I'm supposed to pay him (he does get reimbursed by insurance for their part though).

My pdoc has a very fatherly stance toward me. He's a little older than my dad (about three years) and he's the father of FIVE children, the oldest of which is a little younger than I am, and sometimes when he's talking to me about my work stuff or my dating stuff (mind you, he's the ONLY man I've ever been able to be really open with about those kinds of things!), I feel like he's my dad and I'm his daughter and he's giving me fatherly advice. My dad isn't anything like that, so I love it.

Sorry...I think my pdoc is the greatest thing since sliced bread... :-) He also referred me to my therapist, who I love. She is almost always on time for our sessions and is also very accessible to me, but I think that therapists are *usually* more punctual. I don't hold my pdoc's inability to stay on schedule against him one bit. :-)

P

 

Re: You are TOO much! » LostGirl

Posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 13:31:56

In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22

> Eating in front of you? Wow. I don't want to know that they eat or do other human functions. I hated when my former one occasionally let me in and said he's going to the bathroom and would be right back. I think he had me go in to his office first, rather than continue to wait in the waiting room because I would have heard him peeing in the little bathroom off the waiting room. I definitely would not have wanted that! It was bad enough picturing that he was actually in the bathroom, holding his.......

The bathroom at my pdoc's office is pretty soundproof, which is great! And he never says he's going to the bathroom just that he'll be 'right back' which could be getting water or whatever. My former boss used to use an old Navy term - "I've gotta go hit the head." It was disgusting!!!

But in my T's office, there are two bathrooms in a small suite of offices, and they aren't designated as men's or women's, so I think it's kind of strange as there are only four offices there! But when you're in her office and someone goes into one of the bathrooms, you can hear them peeing! Ewwww. But not if they're in the other bathroom.


> Anyway....my current therapist is in her 50s,female, very prim and proper,wears expensive real jewelry, has a mink coat hanging there, wears very high heels with pointy toes, has died steaky blonde hair - everything opposite from me. And then one day I notice for the first time a TATOO on the inside of one ankle of a rose. I couldn't believe it - it so didn't fit. And I was pre-occupied with it after that - like did she have this all along and I never noticed it because she usually wears boots, or crosses her legs so I only see the other side of the ankle. It just didn't fit.


Wow...my former T was pretty prim and proper - very petite, perfect hair and makeup, jewelry (though nothing extravagant) and her clothes were always so neat. I can imagine that she was a bit anal about appearance, not that she ever made any allusions to my lack of neatness. My current T occasionally wears jeans and more often wears either long skirts or slacks and she's much more relaxed in appearance - and I like that. Her hair is graying (she's somewhere in her 50s) and is longish and she wears it either twisted up (which is my favorite) or in barrettes. She has a comfortable look about her.

My pdoc doesn't wear suits - usually khakis and a button front shirt with the top button open and the sleeves rolled up. Also very relaxed.

P

 

Re: Therapy gripe

Posted by pegasus on December 18, 2003, at 14:15:24

In reply to Therapy gripe, posted by Karen_kay on December 17, 2003, at 15:08:39

Sometimes when I go into apology overdrive, he gets a little exasperated and stops telling me that it's ok. He's supposed to keep telling me that forever! Once he joked about what would happen if he agreed with me. If he said something like, "Yeah, well you better be sorry!" Yikes!

 

Therapist uses the restroom? » LostGirl

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 15:15:21

In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22

You mean my therapist uses the restroom? (and I'm only half joking here...) I try not to see him as human. He's super human. He's not like any man I've met before. Ok, so I'll say he does go #1 but most certainly not # 2... No no no...
(Not that I wouldn't mind picturing him holding his...)

As for the tatoo... I'd said "Wow, nice ink. I wouldn't think YOU would have a tatoo." Ha ha.. See what she says. But, I'm bad about calling people on things. And he calls me on things too. So I guess that makes us even? But he's the therapist, he's supposed to know better.

 

Re: Therapy gripe » Penny

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 15:30:08

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe » Karen_kay, posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 13:22:38

Ok, I see now....I would NOT want to spend an entire hour with my pdoc. Sometimes the 15 minutes I have with him is too much to take. I enjoy the nurses in his office. They are a hoot! But it is sweet you have such a great relationship with him. Do you ever ask for a bite of his sandwhich? If it were my pdoc or therapist and they kept me waiting that long I'd be like "Hey, you kept me waiting so long, I'm famished. Do you mind sliding some of that my way?" I guess that's why I'm not very popular with my doctors, only the staff? The staff member seem to like me a lot, but they don't know me that well >)

My therapist doesn't seem to respond well to phone calls. If I call him, he calls back, but gets bent out of shape. (I can just hear it in his voice, maybe I'm just paranoid) Sort of like "Why are you calling me?" And I don't call often. I've been seeing him almost a year and I've called him maybe 7 times, 5 of which were to check appointment times or to schedule. So, I've only called twice "to talk"... Yeah, maybe he's a jerk. And he bites his fingernails sometimes. But, when he does I just kind of grunt and look away. I figure that is my way of showing my disapproval (like he cares?)

So, when they are picking their teeth, and noses, and nails.. does this mean we are boring them? Or that they can't stay focused? Or they just have poor manners? (Of course mine has the best manners.. he doesn't pick his teeth and eat it ROFL.....


It could be dangerous leaving someone in the waiting room for such an extended period of time, especially if they are waiting for their drugs.

 

Re: You are TOO much! » LostGirl

Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:13:48

In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22

I think "I'll be right in" would have been sufficient, without telling you why. :)

I hate it when he leaves me in his office though. I always want to sneak a peek at my file.

 

Bad girl! » Dinah

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 20:32:30

In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » LostGirl, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:13:48

Sneak a peek at your file? I wouldn't dare! I might, but I have a big mouth. He always leaves me in his office. As soon as I walk in to get something to drink, and after we are finished so he can get my receipt. I guess I could look at my file, but I would spend quite a while yelling at him about what he wrote. Maybe next session I'll ask what's in my file. And ask to have a peek. If he argues or tries to protest, then I have reason for concern. If he doesn't then I won't waste my time. But, I'm going to try the agenda thing, and the list of compliments. The agenda is purely to see his reaction. The list of compliments is so he will stop offending me with his lame ones.

One other thing that made me mad. He waited until the last two minutes and casually said "And in two weeks we can continue talking about such and such...." What was that??? Kinda made me mad. He could have at least told me earlier.

 

Re: Not so bad girl. » Karen_kay

Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:46:16

In reply to Bad girl! » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 20:32:30

I've never actually done it. I just hate being left with the urge.

I had the vacation/out of town talk with my therapist several times. He now knows to bring those things up at the beginning of the session as soon as he knows, rather than the end of session right before hand. I think that's only fair of him. I had to threaten to make session appointments a couple of months in advance, so that he would realize he needed to cancel, but he got the point and is pretty good about it now.

 

Re: Not so bad girl. » Dinah

Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 21:12:20

In reply to Re: Not so bad girl. » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:46:16

Every time I go in to my session I have the urge to ask him "Are you planning a vacation any time soon?" But, I almost don't want to know the answer to that. It may give him ideas. Maybe he doesn't think about a vacation. And I certainly wouldn't want to suggest one for him. Besides, I wouldn't see someone else, even if he suggested someone. It would just be a waste of my time and money. And I hate wasting money (yeah right).

 

Re: Therapy gripe

Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 0:52:49

In reply to Re: Therapy gripe, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 17, 2003, at 15:30:48

> My therapist seems to think that if we talk about something rationally for 15 minutes that my way of thinking will be "fixed." Last week we were discussing some of the guilt I was experiencing as a result of something which happened with my father. So I was telling him my seemingly irrational thought on the matter and he replaced it with more rational thinking. So after I said "yes, that makes sense." he said "Ok, then, that's taken care of," and then we'll move on! Little does he know I like to discuss things AT LENGTH and that my irrational thinking is not going to stop simply because he spent 15 minutes on the topic and declared it closed for the day!!!
>
> Another gripe is that we spend the first 5 minutes with small talk. Weather, current events, etc. I think this is such a waste of time and money! I have tried to go in there and immediately start addressing a particular subject, but it never really seems to work.
>
> And I know this was addressed earlier, but last week, for the first time ever, he picked his teeth in front of me! I was absolutely horrified. I'm sure he didn't even realize that he did it.
>
>

LOL Ack the opening small talk! I feel your pain!
in today's session with sir shrink he was overtime with the person before me so i got in there half an hour after my booked time then he gave me a whole big spin on why he's late, how he's sorry if he seems abit on edge in my sessions cause theyre the last of a busy day and we talked about a few irrelevant borderline things that werent really the reason why I was there and all I could think was "we've already lost 1/2 an hour of our session why dont we skip the small talk this week".
Also, the very first words are often difficult to find because I walk in sit down, he does same then he looks at me as though "so what did you come for?" I don't know how to start the session.
He used to ask "so how was your week?" but now that's gone out the window I just sort of initiate convo on how my week was starting with the first thing that made that week not a good one lol
And also i related to how you mentioned how shrinks are under the impression that 15 minutes of rational thought solves a lifetime's problems.
My therapist once said to me "I don't even think you'd meet the criteria for depression now" just because I mentioned I'd been feeling good lately with how things are. (i still do think i have depression criteria or not, its not like I want to say I do but its just a matter-of-fact for now).
Bah! I love this group. So many people experiences similar stuff to me.
*hugs everyone in the group*

 

Re: my goat....... » justyourlaugh

Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:02:34

In reply to my goat......., posted by justyourlaugh on December 17, 2003, at 16:01:02

> how about the silence...
> i answer the questions to the best of my ability and yet he waits...and waits..for me to say more...ive got nothing..
> should i make stuff up?
> he asked why i rarely looked at him...
> i said making eye contact with him would allow him to read my mind..i ment it to be funny..he didnt looked amused..
> i think i am going to wrap things up with him next time and move on with it...
> i feel so indifferent and drugged today
> j


*hugs*

I also feel annoyed by the way sometimes your own answer (as un psych-lingo as it may be) is not enough. Or that if he asks a question and I dont have an answer off the top of my head there's this silence and he looks at me so I scramble around inside my head and spit anything out of my mouth just to satisfy him. I hate those psychological games they play like "i know you have the answer you just dont want to say it so I'll wait until you do"
Somedays I dont feel so quick on my feet yet he pushes for the answer he wants to hear.
I almost feel like giving an answer that is shocking or irrelevant just to get a reaction out of him. Or to hear him say just one..more...time..

"So how does that make you feel?"

 

Re: You are TOO much!

Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:32:56

In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22

>I hated when my former one occasionally let me in and said he's going to the bathroom and would be right back. I think he had me go in to his office first, rather than continue to wait in the waiting room because I would have heard him peeing in the little bathroom off the waiting room. I definitely would not have wanted that! It was bad enough picturing that he was actually in the bathroom, holding his.......

lmao I had a similar situation.
Usually I have my cell phone put on silent mode before I go in therapy but this time I had forgot.
We had gone overtime and my ride called to see if I was still there. Anyway, when my phone rang I looked at his bag then mine and thought "no i dont think he would have 'Crazy In Love' as his ringtone" . He quickly jumped out of his seat and said "you answer that and I'll be back in a minute"
This puzzled me abit but anywho he got back as I was ending the call and to surprise he sat looking quite relieved and I could hear the toilet flushing down the end of the hall lol
so I'm thinking "he was busting to go to the toilet and ceazed the moment?" lol otherwise he would've waited till we had finished the session.
He apologized for leaving and I'm still left thinking "did he just run off to the toilet?"
And yeah..it gave him the human aspect I never really wanted to think about.
He sips from a bottle of water occasionally while I'm talking but thats it. Oh and onetime he was running late with a client before me then i went straight back to his room as he was walking to her to the waiting room then we got back to his office, he paused nervously then said "can you hold on for a sec" I said yes then he rushed out of the room and came back relieved again I pressume.

Its just a quirk that sort of makes me giggle. To think that I'm sitting there blabbering on about my life and he was busting to go to the toilet so much that he jumped up when my phone rang and left the room.
I wasnt even going to answer it but I guess you cant keep a man in agony :P Also the thought of him just having seconds earlier been holding his you-know-what sort of puzzled me abit too.
All I could think was 'I hope he washed those hands"

 

Re: You are TOO much! » Bell_75

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 8:32:56

In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:32:56

That is hysterical!

My therapist's bathroom for some reason is not in the actual suite where he has his office, but in the hallway. This bathroom is adjacent to the office and you can hear every flush. Anyway, many times he sees me in the waiting room and he comes out and says "I'm just going to get some water, I'll be right back." And like clockworkwork, 2 minutes later, I hear the flush and he comes right back in. And I ALWAYS think about the handwashing thing since I always shake his hand before the session.

 

Shaking hands.. » Miss Honeychurch

Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14

In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » Bell_75, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 8:32:56

One time my therapist had me bring in my boyfriend. And he shook his hand. It made me so angry because he has never shook my hand. Not even the first time we met. Then, about 2 months ago I got up to leave and out of nowhere he held out his hand for me to shake it. I must have looked puzzled, and I said, "Why are you offering your hand now?" He obviously didn't notice that he hadn't offered it before. He mentioned that his friends used to tease him about becoming a politician, because he always shakes hands. It still bothers me. And he still hasn't offered his hand since that day. Maybe from now on, I'll start sticking my hand out to shake. But, he does touch my shoulder as I leave now. That's better than the stupid hand shake anyday :)

I just HATE seeing his other clients as I am leaving... I feel like they are competition. I've mentioned one before, who I felt was prettier than I was. He told me I "had nothing to worry about" (what does that mean anyway?? is she not a regular? does he dislike her?) I have thought about asking him not to get other clients until after I leave, but I don't want to be TOO demanding...

 

Re: Shaking hands..

Posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:11:16

In reply to Shaking hands.. » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14

My husband and I saw the same therapist for couples therapy, then during part of then and beyond I was seeing him alone. When the couples part ended he said good things about the work we had done and shook my husband's hand, but not mine. I thought either it's a guy thing, or more likely, it's because he's still continuing to see me alone and therefore he feels he shouldn't touch me - it wasn't an ending with me, though it was an ending of couples work with me. Then when we really did end individually, I didn't get the handshake either. We didn't end on the greatest terms, because I was so mad that he forgot to tell me in advance about his vacation, and when he got back it wasn't sufficiently resolved so I quit. But I still think I spent a lot of agonizing time on the quitting part, and it was intense and great when it was working, so I felt I should have gotten that handshake in the end. Stupid and petty, I know, but for all I went through there, I should have gotten the handshake in the end.

 

Re: Shaking hands.. » Karen_kay

Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:08:36

In reply to Shaking hands.. » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14

I would take a shoulder touch ANYDAY over a handshake. You lucky girl! My T (who works with children as well) says that he only shakes hands, no hugs, no nothing. Even with 6 year olds who come in and have a hard session or something, he just shakes their hands!!

As for his other clients, there is a separate exit from the entrance so I never see any of his other clients. However, as I was getting on the elevator yesterday after my appointment (we laughed hysterically over the new "agenda" I brought in (yours, Karen with the times etc)), another woman got off the elevator on that floor and went into the office. He shares the suite of offices with 4 child neurologists so I assumed she was going to be his next appointment. I haven't stopped thinking about her since. I do think I was prettier than she, but not by much. O well...

 

Re: Shaking hands and PC » LostGirl

Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:17:34

In reply to Re: Shaking hands.., posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:11:16

You would think that since he is a therapist he would be politically correct and shake your hand, even if you are a girl. Sheesh! I said something the first time he shook my hand. Did you ever mention it? I don't think it's petty, but I tend to focus a lot on "little" things like that. I often return to sessions with the phrase "Something's been bothering me from the last session" and he'll start in on the hard stuff, which should bother me. But, I just glare at him, stop him midsentence (because he'll go on forever, assuming he's right), and say, "No, you haven't called me beautiful" or "You didn't shake my hand" or "You forgot to offer me water" or something stupid like that... I guess it's my way of avoiding issues. Or criticising him. Or trying to find a reason not to trust him (BINGO!)...

I was upset at the joint session because I tried to "coach" my boyfriend. I told him what he could and couldn't talk about. He refused to listen to me. Then, during the session, I felt like my therapist was attacking me. I decided from that point on I was not going to share him again! Forget that. At least not while I was in the room!

It's strange though, because now I get the feeling my therapist wants me to drop my boyfriend. He says he doesn't have a particular view either way (yeah, right!) but the things he says tells a different story. And I always call him on it. I frequently ask him if it annoys him when I call him on things (and argue with him) and he says he enjoys it. That's almost enough to make me want to stop doing it. Hmmmm... I guess that means I'm testing him?


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