![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kalamatianos on December 11, 2003, at 15:02:21
My grumbling and obligatory thinking can cloud and block my vision from seeing the truth about myself. I accept that my memories acquired in a delusional or dissociated state will be a mixture of real and imagined. I have witnessed part of what I have perceived, my delusions filled in some, and the rest I have actually filled in with the induction of imaginary (made up) facts and opinions.
Does this make me a liar? No. It doesn’t change who I am. I must accept, though, that I have acted badly, and must make amends. I have spent a lot of time cleaning up after myself. Not as much recently.
Bobby E, a 12 step speaker on codependency, broached this to us at the Northern California Codependency Convention in 1988. I then discovered I was “enough” to handle tomorrow better than I handled yesterday. All my life I had been confused and reluctant to accept that I've always been "enough". I’m all I’ve got and that ain’t bad.
Sometimes the quest for knowing "why" serves as a distraction for my undisciplined impulsive mind. My gut has told me that I have the right to know, and that I won't be "whole" until I do know. I became whole when I found that I was "enough". I can now speak to myself in my mirror, and hear only one voice, mine
Posted by Karen_kay on December 11, 2003, at 16:07:27
In reply to Am I a grumbling and distracted liar?, posted by Kalamatianos on December 11, 2003, at 15:02:21
Congratulations!!!!!! Please do not post to me in the future.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 11, 2003, at 19:15:25
In reply to I always said I wouldn't cry....., posted by Karen_kay on December 11, 2003, at 16:07:27
> Please do not post to me in the future.
FYI, I responded, but over at PBA:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031120/msgs/288917.html
Bob
Posted by tabitha on December 11, 2003, at 20:04:26
In reply to Am I a grumbling and distracted liar?, posted by Kalamatianos on December 11, 2003, at 15:02:21
I'm not sure I understand what this post is talking about. It disturbs me though, because it sounds as though it's a story of a child who went through a traumatic experience and has had his memories disbelieved, then been told he acted badly and must make amends. Is that applicable at all?
Did you know that when a child has had a trauma, the amount of emotional damage depends a lot on the reaction she gets from telling an adult? If she is believed, protected, and comforted, the damage is minimized. If she is disbelieved, blamed, and has her feelings minimized, she will experience much more damage.
We are the adults now. Let's give our child-selves the support and comfort they deserve. Do they need to be told they are grumbling, delusional, liars, undisciplined, and have imaginary perceptions? That won't help them grow into whole people.
We don't have to shame ourselves into behaving like responsible adults.
Posted by Kalamatianos on December 12, 2003, at 4:45:29
In reply to Re: Am I a grumbling and distracted liar?, posted by tabitha on December 11, 2003, at 20:04:26
Thank you for your concern for the abused child. I didn't expect that response.
All of my post took place for me after age 35. Perhaps my subject line for the post threw you off toward my being abused as a child. I assure you that there was not a drop of physical abuse. I do take responsibility for half of my emotional abuse growing up. The other half of my emotional trauma is standard societal abuse everyone gets a dose of. Our world is sort of designed around abuse. Violence is the norm for conflict resolution. My childhood would have been a whole lot easier if I hadn't taken things so personally.
Again thanx. I enjoy your many postings.
Posted by shar on December 12, 2003, at 11:15:38
In reply to Re: Am I a grumbling and distracted liar?, posted by tabitha on December 11, 2003, at 20:04:26
T,
I didn't know that about the difference in treatment after a trauma leading to a difference in how much damage one experiences. It makes perfect sense, though, and explains a lot. I guess I never even thought about being comforted or listened to, because I wasn't. I'm so glad to even think there are kids out there that are!Shar
Posted by gabbix2 on December 14, 2003, at 23:56:34
In reply to Am I a grumbling and distracted liar?, posted by Kalamatianos on December 11, 2003, at 15:02:21
Those aren't quite the words that came to mind...
Posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 0:54:32
In reply to Re: Am I a grumbling and distracted liar? » Kalamatianos, posted by gabbix2 on December 14, 2003, at 23:56:34
My goodness, has it been nine weeks already?
Posted by gabbix2 on December 15, 2003, at 2:15:33
In reply to Re: Gabbi's back... and saucy as ever ;-), posted by tabitha on December 15, 2003, at 0:54:32
Posted by shar on December 15, 2003, at 15:11:18
In reply to Gasp! why, whatever do you mean? (nm) » tabitha, posted by gabbix2 on December 15, 2003, at 2:15:33
What a treat! Yer back! You were sorely missed, and I hope you have not stopped double posting!!
:))
woo hoo, celebrating your return!
Shar
Posted by Kalamatianos on December 17, 2003, at 13:05:10
In reply to Re: Am I a grumbling and distracted liar? » Kalamatianos, posted by gabbix2 on December 14, 2003, at 23:56:34
>>Those aren't quite the words that came to mind...
Please, then, don't be vague. Time is precious.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.