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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
I went to my therapy session this morning, a little nervous, but confident I could tell my therapist that she hurt me when she turned me down for coffee (in the medical phase of our relationship, before therapy), and that I have "closed my door" to her as a result so she can't hurt me again. I told her it used to be fun to talk to her, and I enjoyed it, but that now it feels flat, disconnected, and I leave feeling empty. Although I was going through the motions of therapy, I wasn't emtionally engaged. I also told her how encouraged I was by the realization that we can use all of this in therapy, now that I knew I had closed the door to her like I have to other people in my past.
I said what I went to say, and she was very professional about it, and we talked alot about what to do with hurt instead of closing the door to the people that hurt me. But we talked very, very little about our specific situation, and that disappointed me. She'll probably bring us up specifically next time, because she's pretty good about not leaving me hanging out there for too long, once she's gathered her thoughts and written her notes. I think she may have gotten distracted that we were initially talking about Us. Still, I hate when she opens up our sessions by bringing up previous conversations about my feelings about our relationship. It makes me feel like a pathetic idiot.
Overall, I'd give today a C+ or a B-.
Posted by fallsfall on September 15, 2003, at 14:28:33
In reply to Had my session today, posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
Good job! You were very brave. And the world did not end.
Since you want to talk about the "Us", and you don't want her to bring it up, why don't you start off the session by bringing it up?
Posted by Dinah on September 15, 2003, at 16:38:39
In reply to Had my session today, posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
Ah well, not every session can be an A+. It's a shame that she didn't share your enthusiasm and catch that you wanted to discuss this insight in context of your relationship. But you've got time.
Fallsfall is right. You should try bringing it up yourself next session if you find it disconcerting that she does "from our last episode" therapy interventions (and if you want to discuss it more). If she's someone who likes to think things over, she's had time now and should be prepared.
Maybe next session can be a B, or maybe even higher. My sessions lately have been strictly C territory - so much so that I think it may be time to reduce frequency for the time being. So I'll hope for a B next time too. :)
Posted by Adia on September 16, 2003, at 8:15:59
In reply to Had my session today, posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
Dear Hannah,
I am sorry things didn't quite go as you wanted and had planned...
I think you were very brave to tell her all you had thought and felt..Maybe this is a start and next time will be a much better session...Instead of her bringing up the topic maybe you should try to tell her...? I really do hope you can discuss this more deeply with her, I feel it's so important that you are able to talk with her about how you feel about your relationship with her and how therapy is going...
I've been thinking of you ..I am sorry it didn't go as you had planned...but it feels like a start..
I am sending you all my support,
and wishing next session is an A or B... :o)
thank you for sharing...
Adia.> I went to my therapy session this morning, a little nervous, but confident I could tell my therapist that she hurt me when she turned me down for coffee (in the medical phase of our relationship, before therapy), and that I have "closed my door" to her as a result so she can't hurt me again. I told her it used to be fun to talk to her, and I enjoyed it, but that now it feels flat, disconnected, and I leave feeling empty. Although I was going through the motions of therapy, I wasn't emtionally engaged. I also told her how encouraged I was by the realization that we can use all of this in therapy, now that I knew I had closed the door to her like I have to other people in my past.
>
> I said what I went to say, and she was very professional about it, and we talked alot about what to do with hurt instead of closing the door to the people that hurt me. But we talked very, very little about our specific situation, and that disappointed me. She'll probably bring us up specifically next time, because she's pretty good about not leaving me hanging out there for too long, once she's gathered her thoughts and written her notes. I think she may have gotten distracted that we were initially talking about Us. Still, I hate when she opens up our sessions by bringing up previous conversations about my feelings about our relationship. It makes me feel like a pathetic idiot.
>
> Overall, I'd give today a C+ or a B-.
>
Posted by emmaley on September 16, 2003, at 11:54:47
In reply to Had my session today, posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
I really have to say that I have so much admiration for you to go in there and talk about your feelings so honestly. It takes a lot of guts, really, to deal with the Here and Now with your therapist. Sounds like she usually catches on to your pace and where you are, too.
I do undestand the feeling pathetic part, too.....I feel like that quite a bit these days.
Hugs.
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