Posted by HannahW on September 15, 2003, at 14:09:43
I went to my therapy session this morning, a little nervous, but confident I could tell my therapist that she hurt me when she turned me down for coffee (in the medical phase of our relationship, before therapy), and that I have "closed my door" to her as a result so she can't hurt me again. I told her it used to be fun to talk to her, and I enjoyed it, but that now it feels flat, disconnected, and I leave feeling empty. Although I was going through the motions of therapy, I wasn't emtionally engaged. I also told her how encouraged I was by the realization that we can use all of this in therapy, now that I knew I had closed the door to her like I have to other people in my past.
I said what I went to say, and she was very professional about it, and we talked alot about what to do with hurt instead of closing the door to the people that hurt me. But we talked very, very little about our specific situation, and that disappointed me. She'll probably bring us up specifically next time, because she's pretty good about not leaving me hanging out there for too long, once she's gathered her thoughts and written her notes. I think she may have gotten distracted that we were initially talking about Us. Still, I hate when she opens up our sessions by bringing up previous conversations about my feelings about our relationship. It makes me feel like a pathetic idiot.
Overall, I'd give today a C+ or a B-.
poster:HannahW
thread:260294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/260294.html