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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 0:05:44
Just thought I would reach out here. I'm feeling really down tonight but I don't know if I should go into detail online. I'm frustrated about a lot of things right now and wonder if it will get better for me. Please don't think I'm being self-centered, I don't mean to be. A friend once told me I was the most self-centered person she ever met. I have never been told that in my life. Maybe I am. She later apologized, felt bad, and said to never think I was and to get it out of my head that what she said hurt me, but why would she say it if it wasn't true? We're not friends anymore but that's why I say please don't think I'm being self-centered here, I really don't mean to be. My doctor just increased my Lamictal to 50mg, I'm still on the Lex, but it goes deeper than the meds. I am hurting inside and no matter how much I try to think I'm not or that everything is ok, the fact of the matter is that I don't know what to do to feel better. I just don't know what to do. I have a huge hole and I don't know how to fill it. I smoke, I eat ice cream, I'm gaining weight again. I just sent an email out and I was crying as I wrote it because I was talking about "things". I don't know whether to just go with the flow, I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself, I don't know if I'm taking things too seriously or what, but I hurt, I'm crying, I hurt. I just don't get it. I don't want to be on a pity-pot, there's so many things burdening my heart right now that I want to go away and I don't know how!
I just don't know how!
Posted by fallsfall on September 10, 2003, at 6:56:47
In reply to Feelings tonight, posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 0:05:44
Asking for help on a message board is not being self-centered. I see you respond a lot to other people, that is not being self-centered. If she's the only one who has said that, and then she apologized I think that you can think that noone has said that.
You sound like you are in a lot of pain. And you would like the pain to go away - that's quite reasonable. Pretending that things are OK doesn't make it better.
I'm glad you wrote your email. It can be hard to write about important things. I find that if I write it helps me to identify what is most important so that I can focus on that. It also helps me to "think it through" because if I am trying to explain things to someone else it has to be fairly clear in my mind. Getting feedback from others on your issues could help, too. Sometimes I make some pretty outlandish assumptions, but if someone points them out to me I can then think straighter on the issue. Sometimes if I talk to a friend, I find that other people have the same issue (and I thought I was the only one). Knowing that I'm not the only one sometimes makes it easier.
Do you have a therapist? Have you talked about these issues with him/her?
You can't do this alone. This is the time to ask friends and family to listen and help.
Let us know how we can help.
Posted by Poet on September 10, 2003, at 11:01:25
In reply to Feelings tonight, posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 0:05:44
Galkeepinon,
I just discovered this site on Monday, and think it is fantastic. It is absolutely not self centered to ask for help when you are feeling low.
If there is no one you feel you can talk to, my therapist had me write down all the things that I considered failures in my life (and there were many), seal the list in an envelope and give it to her. We will destroy it together when (make that if)I am done with therapy.
Did it erase all my negative thoughts about myself- no, did it make me realize I am not the complete and total failure I believed I was- yes.
A year later, I am still working through the major "failures" but I am not the complete failure that I thought I was when I started seeing her.
It can't hurt to try writing it all down. Don't mull over it, give it somebody you trust or just plain burn or shred it immediately.
Hang in there.
Poet
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 14:04:14
In reply to Re: Feelings tonight » galkeepinon, posted by Poet on September 10, 2003, at 11:01:25
Thank you so very much for your kind words. I am feeling a little better today. I think I needed to vent. My father is causing a lot of stress in my family right now and I guess I'm just sad about it. I want to learn to handle things that hurt when they come up, where I am going, and what I need to do to take care of myself, and how I get started.
You're support means more to me than you'll ever know.
Thank you very much:-)
> Galkeepinon,
>
> I just discovered this site on Monday, and think it is fantastic. It is absolutely not self centered to ask for help when you are feeling low.
>
> If there is no one you feel you can talk to, my therapist had me write down all the things that I considered failures in my life (and there were many), seal the list in an envelope and give it to her. We will destroy it together when (make that if)I am done with therapy.
>
> Did it erase all my negative thoughts about myself- no, did it make me realize I am not the complete and total failure I believed I was- yes.
>
> A year later, I am still working through the major "failures" but I am not the complete failure that I thought I was when I started seeing her.
>
> It can't hurt to try writing it all down. Don't mull over it, give it somebody you trust or just plain burn or shred it immediately.
>
> Hang in there.
>
> Poet
>
>
>
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 17:02:03
In reply to Re: Feelings tonight » galkeepinon, posted by fallsfall on September 10, 2003, at 6:56:47
Hi fallsfall, Thank you so much for your support! It does make sense that being self-centered and trying to take care of yourself when in pain are 2 different things? I really appreciate the feedback. I have a friend who says the same thing, and about not being alone. Sometimes I feel like I am, of course not wanting pain for anyone, however, she says she goes through the similar stuff I talk about. I think I may catastrophize at times, I've been told that by a therapist, and when I step back into introspection I think I do, but it doesn't lesssen the pain, just clarifies for me I guess, so I'm working on it. I guess I just keep on keepin on.
No, I don't have a therapist at the moment. I have done so much work in therapy in the past, I hesitate to start up again. I've done group, CBT, and one and one. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. My psychiatrist is very good at therapy as well as prescribing my meds,. he just says I'm resisting now so he wants me to journal feelings for our next appt, and so I will.
What exactly does resistance mean that you know of? Just holding back my feelings? That's all I came up with, I should have asked him.
My mother is very supportive. My father has caused a lot of stress and heartache for my family recently more so and it just got to me last night I guess. But also, just trying to figure out where I'm really going and how to get there. Maybe I did need a good cry.
Just being here for me is a beautiful way that you can help and I would appreciate that so much!
Thank you.> Asking for help on a message board is not being self-centered. I see you respond a lot to other people, that is not being self-centered. If she's the only one who has said that, and then she apologized I think that you can think that noone has said that.
>
> You sound like you are in a lot of pain. And you would like the pain to go away - that's quite reasonable. Pretending that things are OK doesn't make it better.
>
> I'm glad you wrote your email. It can be hard to write about important things. I find that if I write it helps me to identify what is most important so that I can focus on that. It also helps me to "think it through" because if I am trying to explain things to someone else it has to be fairly clear in my mind. Getting feedback from others on your issues could help, too. Sometimes I make some pretty outlandish assumptions, but if someone points them out to me I can then think straighter on the issue. Sometimes if I talk to a friend, I find that other people have the same issue (and I thought I was the only one). Knowing that I'm not the only one sometimes makes it easier.
>
> Do you have a therapist? Have you talked about these issues with him/her?
>
> You can't do this alone. This is the time to ask friends and family to listen and help.
>
> Let us know how we can help.
>
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 17:09:52
In reply to Re: Feelings tonight » galkeepinon, posted by Poet on September 10, 2003, at 11:01:25
Hi Poet, thank you for your support, I really appreciate it! That statement that friend made just really stuck in my mind. I need to let it go. I am beginning to understand that being self-centered is different than thinking the whole world revolves around you. (narcissist?)
My psychiatrist is sorta acting as my therapist right now and wants me to journal until our next appt. in a month. I will take what you have wrote here and write about it. Thank you so much.
I like the destroy part, I wish it were that easy to do it in my mind. Just let all that crap go that causes me pain and fear. Your experience has helped a great deal.
Thank you.
> Galkeepinon,
>
> I just discovered this site on Monday, and think it is fantastic. It is absolutely not self centered to ask for help when you are feeling low.
>
> If there is no one you feel you can talk to, my therapist had me write down all the things that I considered failures in my life (and there were many), seal the list in an envelope and give it to her. We will destroy it together when (make that if)I am done with therapy.
>
> Did it erase all my negative thoughts about myself- no, did it make me realize I am not the complete and total failure I believed I was- yes.
>
> A year later, I am still working through the major "failures" but I am not the complete failure that I thought I was when I started seeing her.
>
> It can't hurt to try writing it all down. Don't mull over it, give it somebody you trust or just plain burn or shred it immediately.
>
> Hang in there.
>
> Poet
>
>
>
Posted by fallsfall on September 10, 2003, at 18:17:34
In reply to Re: Feelings tonight » fallsfall, posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 17:02:03
Hmmm. Resistance.
My understanding is that resistance is when you are avoiding an issue. But more than that, it is when you are UNconsciously avoiding the issue. So, for instance, if you have a fight with your mother and you go to therapy, but in front of your therapist you can't remember what she said - that is resistance. Many times I think that resistance is caused by fear - you are trying to protect yourself.
This website explains a little more: http://www.geocities.com/psychotherapyuk/letgo/
Journalling usually helps me - it helps me get more comfortable with an idea because noone else is reacting to it while I'm writing. Your Psychiatrist sounds wise.
Posted by galkeepinon on September 10, 2003, at 18:56:13
In reply to Re: Feelings tonight » galkeepinon, posted by fallsfall on September 10, 2003, at 18:17:34
That's it!!! That's exactly what I did at the appt the other day. When my psychiatrist asked me questions I honestly couldn't remember. So I said that I couldn't. It was like I went numb when he asked. I just wonder what I am trying to protect myself from? I really like my psychiatrist, he is a great doctor and a very fine human being, a real family man, reputable in my community, etc. I know I would have no problem sharing with him, I've done so in the past, he's seen me bawl my eyes out.
Thank you for that website, thanks so much!
I have some reading to do there.
> Hmmm. Resistance.
>
> My understanding is that resistance is when you are avoiding an issue. But more than that, it is when you are UNconsciously avoiding the issue. So, for instance, if you have a fight with your mother and you go to therapy, but in front of your therapist you can't remember what she said - that is resistance. Many times I think that resistance is caused by fear - you are trying to protect yourself.
>
> This website explains a little more: http://www.geocities.com/psychotherapyuk/letgo/
>
> Journalling usually helps me - it helps me get more comfortable with an idea because noone else is reacting to it while I'm writing. Your Psychiatrist sounds wise.
This is the end of the thread.
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