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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on January 2, 2003, at 19:26:54
Hi,
My therapy got over and I moved to a nearby city. I still communicate to my therapist about any issues through email. However of late, he is not responding properly to my emails. I feel quite let down. I have sent him a mail about this, but still he did not respond. What should I do? I have started feeling he is more like a friend nowadays and told him so as well. But he did not respond to that too.
Thanks
PinkEye
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 1:32:48
In reply to Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 2, 2003, at 19:26:54
I hate to sound horribly crass, Pinkeye, but are you paying him for his time in reading and responding to your emails?
My therapist and I had this conversation a while back. I reminded him that I always offer to (and do) pay for out of session services and he agreed that I did, but said that he has sort of a global reluctance because many clients don't.
I don't know what your arrangement is, but it's just a thought.
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 13:19:19
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 1:32:48
Money is not involved in this Dinah. Is there any other reason you can think of?
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 15:22:21
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 13:19:19
I am actually wondering if he is trying to avoid me because I am getting too dependant on him?? Could that be the case?
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 15:25:49
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 15:22:21
Possibly, but are you sure money isn't involved? It usually is, you know.
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 15:47:09
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 15:25:49
I know definitely 100% sure money is not involved.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 16:12:48
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 15:47:09
Well, in that case, and since your city is nearby, why don't you call him for an appointment to discuss it. The horse's mouth and all...
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 16:46:17
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 16:12:48
It is not as simple as that Dinah. have you seen my earlier post about having feelings for my therapist? Well in the last couple of emails, I have been trying to tell my therapist that, and hoping he would give me some clue as to how to get over it. But he hasn't responded. So I feel awkward calling up. Also my husband has this feeling of me being very attracted to my therapist and doesn't want to communicate with him any more. I am trying to sort my feelings out with the help of the therapist, but he is not ready to respond to my emails. Sigh..
PinkEye
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 17:01:40
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 16:46:17
Ahhh. Ok, I understand now. I did remember but wasn't sure this was the same therapist. Your husband would object to a last session to discuss this?
I'm sorry to be dense.
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 17:18:52
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 17:01:40
Yes he would and he has already asked me not to contact my therapist. The last couple of mails I sent without my husband's knowledge:-(. What am I supposed to do?
Posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 18:02:19
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 17:18:52
Time for a new therapist? And maybe a woman so your husband won't get all freaky about you being in therapy again?
None of us can really do more than speculate as to why he stopped responding, but imho, it seems like the boundaries of your therapy relationship really got pushed to the limit. It doesn't seem so healthy to keep maintaining a correspondence like that after you stopped seeing him.
There are clearly still unresolved issues, so maybe a new therapist is something you should consider.
Posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 18:17:12
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by Noa on January 3, 2003, at 18:02:19
There were some special circumstances why he agreed to continue to support me through email. And he infact encouraged me to continue writing to him a while back. As far as seeing a new therapist, I am really doing ok in other respects, so I don't see the necessity for seeing a new one. It is just this one issue that remains unsolved. Should I just leave it like that, or should I try to contact my therapist again and ask him for an explanation? Would that be like pestering him?
Thanks for all the help.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 20:01:15
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 3, 2003, at 18:17:12
It's pretty rotten that he doesn't explain. I think that therapists owe us that much. But I guess his silence speaks for him.
I understand that you feel pretty bad about it though. I have huge abandonment issues, so I do understand.
I was going to say that my family is my life and I wouldn't jeopardize that, but I realized, given my posts a few threads up, that would sound ridiculous coming from me. I still think it's a good general concept though.
Good luck, Pinkeye.
Dinah
Posted by pinkeye on January 6, 2003, at 13:28:14
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2003, at 20:01:15
I am pretty pissed off at my therapist. Whatever it is, I feel he should atleast explain to me. I am wondering if I should call him up?
I love my husband very much and don't want to jeopardize my family. But I am feeling very much abandoned now.
Posted by Noa on January 6, 2003, at 14:23:37
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by pinkeye on January 6, 2003, at 13:28:14
I really think you should at least consult another mental health professional about this before you decide. It sounds to me like you do need to work this out in therapy, but have to face the reality that the old therapist isn't going to be the one to help you with it.
My gut feeling is that he made a big error in keeping correspondence with you and not taking into account the feelings that you could have for him and how he would handle that. And maybe you are right--that he got scared and stopped writing. It is also possible that some other reason, totally unrelated to you is why he stopped (like when Nikki's computer was broken and we were all worried about her, for example). but I think that given how it is affecting your marriage, it might be best to see another professional, even if just for short term to consult about how to get past this lousy episode with the old one.
Take care.
Posted by pinkeye on January 6, 2003, at 15:26:30
In reply to Re: Therapist not responding, posted by Noa on January 6, 2003, at 14:23:37
Thanks everyone. I am still hoping he would write to me :-(. I will give it one more month, and hopefully by then, I will forget all about it.
This is the end of the thread.
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