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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
Each year I make the same resolution - GO TO THE DOCTOR! However, I have a deep fear of doctors, stemming from my first experience ever at the OB GYN which resulted in the breaking of my hyman (which had to be done)but was excrutiating.
My history with doctors for the past 15 years has been a flurry of activity due to a hypochondriacal episode with much poking and prodding and tests. I am traumatized by this. I therefore feel after everythig comes back all clear, that I have carte blanche not to keep up with my health. As a result, I have not had an OB GYN checkup in 9 years! I have not been to the dentist in 9 years.
I intend to talk to my T about this next week. I also have some other things I need to take care of health wise but am too afraid to. And the longer I put it off, the bigger it becomes, and the more worried I get, thinking I for sure must have something fatal.
Anyone have any advice about this irrational fear? I know it is ridiculous, but it scares me even more with people lecturing me about how horrible I've been neglecting my regular checkups. I know it's bad.
This is something I really need to get over this year. Has anyone else been though this? This is really causing me turmoil right now. I feel I am beginning down my old slope of developing "symptoms" for diseases of which I am afraid. I feel the old anxiety come roaring back.
Help!!!
Posted by Bedrock on January 4, 2005, at 16:06:33
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
I have also had crappy experiences, especially OB/Gyn ones (I get very anxious there because I am very shy and private). I never want to go, but I do because I am more afraid of something going wrong that would make me have to have many more invasive tests than the routine exam. I fainted during the last exam, so I think I will try to get a Xanax or something before I go next year - "deep breaths" do not work for me.
I also skipped the dentist for 5 years and that became a very costly mistake as I needed a bunch of work done (far more than my insurance would pay) and almost lost 2 front teeth because of it. All of it was preventable if I had gotten fillings early on.
I understand and totally empathize with your fear, but I think it is worth going to the routine checkups as a prevention strategy.
Much luck to you,
Bedrock
Posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 12:36:46
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
Miss H, I am in a similar boat. I have to do my own breast exams because the very idea of someone else doing it makes me want to run as fast as I can in every direction at once.
Last year, I found a gyn who is somewhere between a man and a woman. He looks like a man, acts like a woman, and is the most reassuring person, so kind and gentle. He's been a gyn for about 8 years so is young - early 40's I think. I had my first PAP in five years.
And I found a new doc last year because the one I'd had for 16 years retired a couple of years ago. The new one is in his fifties, comfortable, and kind. He works out of a teaching clinic so I know that sometime in the few years before he retires I'll meet another doc there who will suit me.
Neither of them touch me unless necessary.
I have given it some thought, and I believe that lots and lots of women are really weird about seeing docs. Docs have to be somewhat sensitive to this, don't they? Mine are. But I live in Canada where I can "shop" for my docs. I visited several before I found the ones I kept.
It was going to the gyn that really queered me out. But I can't let my doc do a physical because I am too grossed out. UGH!!!!
Here's an idea for you. Is there something small that's wrong, like your foot hurts when you take a walk, no matter which shoes you wear? (My current little problem.) Go to the doc for that. Something small, something you know isn't cancer or any other of the huge scary things you might be fearing. If you have 3 small problems, take those 3 problems to the doc.
Then, before you leave the office, could you try to make another appointment for the harder exams? Maybe while you are seeing the doc, you could explain how weird you are about it all, and he'll have some ideas, too.
I think it's important to let the receptionist know that you might need some extra time with the doc. This way, everyone is prepared, the doc won't lose patience (so to speak) because of a harried schedule.
I read in a Readers Digest (in a doc's waiting room!) that among the things docs dislike is when we save up all of our problems for one appointment, without scheduling for it.
Also high on their list is that we bathe before we go. That one shocked me. I really find it hard to believe that anyone would go to the doc without bathing, but a friend who is a gyn says that yes indeedy, there are women who don't. No, I am not suggesting that you don't bathe before you go to the doc, I just thought this was so odd.
There were other things - oh, I think one was not to save the biggest concern for last.
As for the dentist, there are some out there who specialize in the panic stricken.
My advice, advice from the similarly afflicted, is do it a little at a time. Have your teeth examined. Go back for a partial cleaning. Go back again for a full cleaning.
The same with the medical doctor, go and meet and talk the first time if that's what you need. Then go and have him look at your foot, the bump on your head, or the spot you're worried about (me again). Peripheral stuff. Then make another appointment.
Take care. Floss every day. :-)
ShortE
Miss Honeychurch,
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 12:55:13
In reply to Doctors (warning: long!) » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 12:36:46
Shorte,
I like your idea of going to the Doctor piecemeal. Unfortunately, I have a copayment of $35 each time I see the doctor so going to the doctor at a wonderfully leisurely pace is not an option as it would bankrupt me! I suppose you must have free healthcare in Canada which would make that plan much more feasible.
Luckily I have been blessed with great teeth and I do floss quite a bit!
I'm not so freaked out about people touching me as I am by the atmosphere - clinical, paper gowns, SCALES, the stirrups. Even the awful magazines and ubiquitous framed MOnet posters turn me off. If I could have a pap smear in my own living room while watching Entertainment Tonight, that would be heaven.
It usually takes them 4 or 5 times of trying before getting an accurate and normal blood pressure reading on me. I am so anxious when I go in, my bp is sky high, my pulse is sky high. It's ridiculous. I hate seeing the concerned looks on everyone's faces when I show up with all of that going on.
I've been considering going to a dentist that does cleanings, etc. while you're asleep. They have a few of those around. They call themselves "sedation dentists."
The anxiety seems to be threefold here. I worry about seeing doctors and having "procedures" and receiving bad news. I worry about how my behavior is perceived by everyone from the person who weighs me to the doctor. And I worry about worrying about this, knowing the more I worry, the MORE something may be wrong as the more I worry, the sicker I make myself physically.
In short, I'm a mess.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 12:57:58
In reply to Re: Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Bedrock on January 4, 2005, at 16:06:33
Bedrock,
It's nice to know I'm not alone with all of this. I think of myself as a very intelligent person and understand the concept of a stitch in time saves nine. Preventative care is the best route. And I apply that to everyone in my life BUT ME. This is where I am so stupid :(
Posted by Tabitha on January 5, 2005, at 13:27:39
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
I tend to postpone necessary check-ups also-- once went 8 years with no dentist, got my first mammgram about 5 years later than recommended, and am inclined to buy meds in mexico if it means I can avoid a doctor visit. I guess all I can sugest is take it one step at a time-- look in the phone book, make the call, show up for the appointment, do some breathing/meditation techniques in the waiting room. Take a friend for moral support if you can. The anxiety of putting it off usually turns out to be worse than the actual experience.
Once I have a doctor it helps a lot if they'll make my next appointment every time I'm there-- then do a reminder call.
Posted by partlycloudy on January 5, 2005, at 14:33:36
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
I worked for a female dentist who has several patients who have to have xanax before a routine cleaning. It's perfectly understandable to me!! The doctor prescribes 2 tablets at a time for the visit. It's not unusual in the least.
My recommendation would be to make (and go to) an appointment, but ask to speak with the doctor first if possible to outline your request. Otherwise you'll go through having your blood pressure checked, weight, etc., while waiting for the doctor, meanwhile getting more upset as time passes. A good doctor who listens to her patients should be able to comply and make you as comfortable as possible.
Posted by Bedrock on January 5, 2005, at 15:14:33
In reply to Re: Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!) » Bedrock, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 12:57:58
When I fainted they acted like I was the only person to ever have problems during the exam...it is nice to know that others get anxious too. That housecall pap sounds ideal:)
Getting checkups is definitely easier said than done (I was a queen hypocrite for many years on this before depression brought out the hypochondriac in me - now I am always at the doctor with some small ailment that I think will be the death of me - like an itchy toe or slight hand cramp). I think your friends here have a lot of good ideas about how to get there. I think my husband made me call his dentist in front of him, so I guess accountability made me show up.
Good luck!
Bedrock
Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2005, at 19:22:17
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
I got my first smear done this year (I'm 26). They kept sending me reminders but I thought that no way no way in a million years was I going to let anyone do that!
It actually wasn't so bad. No stirrups or anything. No onlookers. I just went to see her for another reason and (saving the biggie for last - oops) mentioned it right at the end. She was ok. It was a bit clinical, but then if it wasn't clinical then I think that would be worse. And like I say, no stirrups.
I need to go to the dentist but I am putting that one off. My friend who was very afraid went to one who just gassed her unconscious. Laughing gas is pretty good though. I shall go sometime...
Posted by emme on January 5, 2005, at 21:49:14
In reply to Re: Doctors (warning: long!) » Shortelise, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 12:55:13
> I'm not so freaked out about people touching me as I am by the atmosphere - clinical, paper gowns, SCALES, the stirrups. Even the awful magazines and ubiquitous framed MOnet posters turn me off. If I could have a pap smear in my own living room while watching Entertainment Tonight, that would be heaven.My family practitioner's office: solo practice, very calm and quiet office, few people in and out, cozy waiting room. And.....the doctor a kind and laid-back woman. Her assistant is calm and down to earth. Makes all the difference. It's like there's valium in the air. and it doesn't feel too sterile. Look for an office like that.
> It usually takes them 4 or 5 times of trying before getting an accurate and normal blood pressure reading on me. I am so anxious when I go in, my bp is sky high, my pulse is sky high. It's ridiculous. I hate seeing the concerned looks on everyone's faces when I show up with all of that going on.One word: xanax. That and really getting to be comfortable around a particular doctor.
I think this is a common problem.
Posted by emme on January 5, 2005, at 21:57:54
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
I had a pap smear done once at a facility that trained med students. I think the philosophy of the place was "get to know your bod". The woman who was doing the exam handed me a mirror and asked me if I wanted to see my cervix. Heck, as long as you have to have something unpleasant done, you might as well feel involved and learn something from it rather than just feeling like you're having things done TO you. (sorry fellas, i hope that didn't gross you out.)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 6, 2005, at 1:10:26
In reply to Re: Doctors (warning: long!) » Shortelise, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2005, at 12:55:13
You mentioned you are a mess and that made me kinda lol in a good natured way..that and the repeated bp tests cause of the anxiety kicking yours up ME TOO!!!! I am a diabetic and thus need meds so I HAVE to see the doc now and then to get a new rx lol....I lucked out when we moved here with a nice doc a female I usually prefer male docs.....and well she is cool about all my phobias and crap. She has a new nurse so I was alll tense about that thinking great a higher bp cause shes NEW and new nurses freak me (funny thing is I worked in the medical field hahahah) ANYHOW, I told the nurse when we met that I freak having my bp taken and she told me she is on Welbutin and we hit it off even hug now when we see each other...my bp first take has been way good :) So MY advice one mess to another is....tell them you have white coat hypertension right off and are doctor phobic they seem to be cooler about it AND you will feel less of a strain :)
Posted by irishcatholic on January 6, 2005, at 10:43:58
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
My (lucky) solution was to encounter a dentist that I came to know socially via a shared hobby. Then I became a patient of his and was able to handle it much better. (I realize for some people that might even make it even worse )
Posted by Racer on January 15, 2005, at 9:40:51
In reply to Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2005, at 15:16:12
My only advice is to go, whatever it takes to get you there.
I do have a suggestion, though, which isn't quite at the level of advice: remember, you can fire a doctor. If you're not comfortable with a doctor, you can even fire the doctor before the exam is done -- just say, "You know, I'm not comfortable with you, I'll find another doctor thank you very much" and get dressed. It can be done.
But if you do that, do find another doctor right away. Get a good referral, so that you're going to someone who has satisfied patients. I've had horror stories about doctors, and get wound up before going, but the OB/GYN I see now is great. He was recommended by my pdoc, of all people! Dr CattleProd's wife goes to him, and since I didn't have an OB/GYN, Dr CattleProd gave me this guy's name. GREAT doctor, so nice, non-judgemental, sensitive, and the pap smear was the least uncomfortable I've ever had!
Be strong, and remember that you deserve to be treated better than you're treating yourself right now.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 19, 2005, at 9:26:56
In reply to Re: Fear of Doctors (warning: graphic!) » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Racer on January 15, 2005, at 9:40:51
Thanks for the thoughts, Racer. I especially always need to hear that last sentence about how I deserve to be treated better than I treat myself right now.
My T and I are working on this issue (brought it up for the first time last week) and believes within 6 weeks I'll have a better handle on this issue. I do have an OBGYN all lined up. A few of my friends use her and love her, so that makes me feel better.
I never thought I could fire a doctor in the middle of an appointment. WHat a great concept!
Posted by badseed on February 13, 2005, at 19:05:00
In reply to Doctors (warning: long!) » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Shortelise on January 5, 2005, at 12:36:46
hi
i'm sorry to hear about your experience. It only takes one bad doctors experience and you can develop a phobia.
i struggle with a fear of doctors. (my dad is a dentist so i can't really fear that!)
i had an anaphactic reaction as a kid and i think that might have triggered my epilepsy and the whole episode in the hospital was enough to cause me to have seizures almost EVERY time i had to go to the doctor. I was terrified and i still am. i hate being touched and i await bad news like a thundercloud.
I think some psychological therapy maybe some really good help, have you considered that? i did some for a while and it got me to getting to the room without panicking. i stopped it though and now the fear is coming back. but i think that might be able to help. they have some excellent coping mechanisms to deal with the anxiety and stuff. i'm sorry to hear about your situation, it must have been traumatic for you.
L
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