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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 25, 2006, at 20:46:53
Why do people with eating disorders want to be thin so badly?
Why am I not satisfied with my normal weight? Do I care only about looks?
I don't think so... I hardly ever wear make-up and I dress like a slob. Yet, being thin is important to me... Maybe I've been brainwashed by the media. Is that what it is? Have we just all been brainwashed by the media into thinking that being thin is synonymous with being beautiful and successful?
Why do I think that I will finally be happy when I'm 95 lbs? Hmmmm.... Brainwashed.
Deneb*
Posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 12:32:48
In reply to Have we been brainwashed by the media?, posted by Deneb on October 25, 2006, at 20:46:53
> Why do people with eating disorders want to be thin so badly?
>That's the point I don't think you quite grasp: eating disorders are not something one decides to do one day. It's not a case of deciding, "I'd like to catch a little Anorexia Nervosa, because I'd like to be thinner." They're diseases. They are mental illnesses.
Saying, "I wish I could be anorexic" is like saying "I wish I could be schizophrenic." They're both devastating mental illnesses.
ElaineM wrote about some of the things that AN caused her. How about I add to that list, to show just how glamorous it can be? It's certainly not about wanting to look good, unless you figure having a beard and chest hair is attractive. I lost about half the hair on my head, but grew hair on my face. Looked like old-fashioned mutton chop whiskers. Does that sound attractive? I had sores all over my backside from my bones rubbing on chairs -- and that was upholstered chairs. I couldn't sit properly, and couldn't sit at all on hard seats. My skin was so dry it was flaking off in huge areas. No amount of moisturizer could hide it or fix it. If my arms brushed against something, they left smears of skin flakes. It was like full body dandruff. Does that sound attractive?
So, no, Deneb. It's not about being brainwashed by the media. It's not a new way to diet. It's a very serious mental illness. It's about as glamorous as being schizophrenic.
Here's a thought experiment for you, Deneb: Every time you think a thought relating to eating disorders, how about you change the eating disorder to schizophrenia and see if it still holds any appeal for you?
Posted by ElaineM on October 26, 2006, at 13:51:22
In reply to Have we been brainwashed by the media?, posted by Deneb on October 25, 2006, at 20:46:53
>>>>>Why am I not satisfied with my normal weight? Do I care only about looks?
I don't think so... I hardly ever wear make-up and I dress like a slob.D*, my friend, you have some of that answer already. Think of your question without the "with my normal weight" part. That's what I hear being the real question. You've mentioned wanting accomplishments, perhaps you feel so stuck that you're looking for anything to help you fill that gap. Perhaps unconsciously, or consciously, weight seems to be the least mentally threatening thing for you to work on? Do you think that's at all true, or no? [you *can* say No you know, right? I don't want to tell you what you think, just see if any of my own thoughts shed a different light] Does every other thing in your world seem uncontrollable or uneffectable (nice word huh!).
But sometimes looks are the easiest thing to care about too. Speaking from my cr@p, it'd be a hell of alot safer-feeling to be worrying that I'm not a size X, than being stuck with the stuff I *am* worrying about. It doesn't seem as scary to me to ruminate on knowing all my calories like the back of my hand, than it is to get stuck on "I'm so lonely I could turn inside-out any moment", or "I'm so far behind in life next to others my age" or "My parents think I'm an incompetent unworthy embarassing daughter" or "I'm afraid of the meds I have to take" or "Will I only keep on getting worse and never improve?" or "What about my teeth!?" or "Will I ever dance again?" ....I could go on and on and on.
If you had to throw in your own there, what do you think you would add?>>>>>Why do I think that I will finally be happy when I'm 95 lbs?
I wonder if deep down (underneath the adding of the weight requirement) you think that you just want to be anything other than everything you are right now - and then *that* would equal happy. I guess I just wonder that cause you said you don't really care about other aesthetic things.
>>>>>Hmmmm.... Brainwashed.
In terms of body image issues, I think you're right - media standards of acceptable body sizes are skewed. It's good that you've noticed that those poor emaciated ones in mags and on TV (I could name one sad little one who appears everywhere these days) are not something people should aspire to - that you'd need to almost be coerced or something to find that desirable. Some people don't realize that that's *not* natural, so you're ahead of them there. Keep working in that direction - you know what's going on. I think that's a really great start to understanding more. Let me know if you come upon any other realizations that help figure stuff out a bit more. It's always interesting listening to what others have found out about themselves. [I think it helps be understand myself a little more too ;-) ]
blove, ELps. Have you ever read "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf? It's amazing.
Posted by Deneb on October 26, 2006, at 18:51:38
In reply to No. It's a disease, not a choice » Deneb, posted by Racer on October 26, 2006, at 12:32:48
Do you mean then that one can't make any sense out of eating disorders? So is asking, "Why do you want to be thin?" like asking, "Why do you want to hallucinate?"
Does society have nothing to do with eating disorders then? Just like how societal views don't change how people with schizophrenia see the world? Would you say that it's mostly genetics? Is it like OCD, where you can't stop yourself from doing certain things even if they don't make sense?
I didn't write anything about wanting to be anorexic. I don't want to be so thin that my body starts using up my heart muscle as an energy source. I just want to have a normal healthy lower weight.
I've got some disordered thoughts about body image and such (don't most people?), but that doesn't mean I want to be anorexic.
Anyways, I'm glad you're OK now. It sounds like you've had some really rough times.
Deneb*
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 27, 2006, at 4:38:00
In reply to Have we been brainwashed by the media?, posted by Deneb on October 25, 2006, at 20:46:53
>>Maybe I've been brainwashed by the media. Is that what it is?
Is that an excuse, and a reason to contonue with it?
Deneb, it is becoming very clear that you are working very hard to try and develop and ED. You do not have an ED. Nt long ago you weren't upset with your size. Its only since you decided it might be good to obsess about and thus avoid doing other things such as college work.
*shrugs*
Personally, when I was ill, all I wanted was to feel better. I tried to move heaven and earth in order to do that.. I di everything my docs told me, I took dozens of different meds.. I begged and begged for therapy, looked for it from voluntary orgs..
I didn't try and worsen things..
Deneb. Please. Do you *want* to feel like you do when you are in distress? Or do you want to face it head on and actually do something about it? You need to be 100% openw ith your doctor.. tell her that friends are worrying you are developing hypochondria.. which, in my eyes, it appears that you are. An you need to listen to your doctor and do what she suggests.. Not decide that you know better.
Please. This is getting out of control deneb
Posted by Racer on October 29, 2006, at 10:17:27
In reply to Re: Have we been brainwashed by the media?, posted by NikkiT2 on October 27, 2006, at 4:38:00
> >>
>
> Deneb, it is becoming very clear that you are working very hard to try and develop and ED.Thanks for trying to help Deneb on this. It can be frustrating to try to support people sometimes, but please don't jump to conclusions about them, or post anything that could lead them to feel accused.
It can be tricky to try to offer support in the form of "tough love" here, but it's generally safest to offer support in the form of "I statements," perhaps describing how you felt on reading the original post.
If you have any questions about the civility guidelines, as you know, you can check the FAQ at: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
And as you very well know, Nikki, this does not mean I don't like you.
Racer
acting as freshly minted deputy for Dr Bob
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 29, 2006, at 10:46:35
In reply to Please be sensitive » NikkiT2, posted by Racer on October 29, 2006, at 10:17:27
I promise to use I statements in the future..
:)
N xx
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