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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by heidiramma on July 28, 2005, at 17:08:45
Hey there, I'm new. Who else is on the brink of getting better from the whole ED guy or anorex/buli in general? It's like, ok, eat this now, wait, no wait some more, damn, not eating enough to gain weight and get better, but then, I don't want to feel bloated and freak out and purge.
So, how to deal? Body is used to feast-famine routine. So, fasting is fine during the day, comes quite naturally. Then at night, I can't get myself to be "normal" and just do the meal and let myself go to bed without eating everything I see.
How to feed yourself when you eat too little (but feel 'safe' or comfortable, but eat what your body needs (more calories) and freak out that the body still doesn't know what to do with this food.
I went to the ER, having been told I could get an IV-type nutritional tube to help stabilize the blood and get calories in . . and they told me they only do that for people who are starving to death! Hello? I'm not there yet, but give me a few weeks, ok?! I feel I CANNOT seem to ingest and process the amount of junk I need to 'get well again', and yet, even the ER people won't help me out. "oh, it's a mental problem," they say. Ok then, then why don't YOU tell me why my mind makes me vomit up the same unaltered pieces of food I ate 9 hours ago. Yes, it must be my MIND that is too lazy or rebellious to tell my stomach to digest. Sheesh, why didn't I think of that?!
Anyway, sorry for the run ons, just thinking and being frustrated, so any help or learning experiences others are willing to provide would be great.
Thanks!
Posted by Racer on July 29, 2005, at 16:04:04
In reply to Help! Wavering between feast/famine dictatorship, posted by heidiramma on July 28, 2005, at 17:08:45
I really hope someone here who has been through the purging cycle can offer you some advice. All I can say is, "gee, I know nothing about trying to get well, only to get so terrified that I try to starve myself again to get rid of the new weight. Dunno nuttin' 'bout nuttin' like that..."
As for what to do, I wonder if your doctor could actually admit you to the hospital for treatment, rather than sending you through the ER? It seems to me that that might be a great solution -- especially since then you could maybe work with something like Reglan, so that your gastroparesis might improve. I know that can be too fatiguing to take during the day, but in the hospital -- let's just say that I would rather be ready to sleep all day in the hospital, anyway...
I wish you all the best, and more. Any chance you could "train" yourself to call a friend in the evening, before you start your craziness? (And excuse the term -- I mean it with respect.)
Posted by Poet on August 6, 2005, at 16:53:52
In reply to Help! Wavering between feast/famine dictatorship, posted by heidiramma on July 28, 2005, at 17:08:45
Hi Heidiramma,
Welcome to babble.
Unfortunately I can identify with the feast/famine dictatorship, but fortunately I can tell you what helps me not eat everything in sight and than purge.
For lunch at work, I eat like a rabbit- salads (dip that fork in the fat free dressing) and fruit. It gives my stomach something to digest, but doesn't make me feel full and bloated. I take vitamin and calcium suppliments, too.
I have favorite binge foods, I don't have them in the house. Example: if I want ice cream, I have to go out for it. No cookies. No chips. You get the picture.
I am not saying I never binge by eating everything in the house, but this seems to help me and I've been bulimic for 27 (gasp) years.
I am not in therapy for bulimia, my T doesn't really get that when I binge and purge it makes me feel in control. It really does- I control what goes in and out, so to speak. I don't think the ER people understand that much about EDs. Yes, it is a mental thing, but a physical one, too.
I hope I helped you. I don't look on this board much, but I'll try to check back in more often and look for your posts.
Poet
Posted by heidiramma on August 8, 2005, at 11:42:50
In reply to Re: Help! Wavering between feast/famine dictatorship » heidiramma, posted by Poet on August 6, 2005, at 16:53:52
Thanks for your words. It may be a good idea for me to keep dangerous foods out of sight. That would force me to actually go out of my way and leave the house to get them. I'm lazy, so that would be a good thing! ha ha. I do eat healthy during the day, nutritional drinks and power bars and such, but who knows, I still am driven to get crazy somehow. Anyway, thanks again, and best wishes to you.
Posted by 4WD on August 9, 2005, at 22:27:45
In reply to Re: Help! Wavering between feast/famine dictatorship, posted by heidiramma on August 8, 2005, at 11:42:50
> Thanks for your words. It may be a good idea for me to keep dangerous foods out of sight. That would force me to actually go out of my way and leave the house to get them. I'm lazy, so that would be a good thing! ha ha. I do eat healthy during the day, nutritional drinks and power bars and such, but who knows, I still am driven to get crazy somehow. Anyway, thanks again, and best wishes to you.
>
Hi. As a recovering bulimic, maybe I can help a little. I had (still sometimes have) the same problem with my stomach just not wanting to digest food. It feels sometimes like it just sits there for hours, unchanged. Sometimes I feel fuller 3 hours after eating than I did right after.I think it has something to do with the fact that my stomach is not used to digesting large amounts of food. For so long, I only allowed small quantities of "safe" foods to stay down. Now, when confronted with a normal meal, my stomach is overwhelmed. Also, I have trouble knowing what IS a normal meal, i.e., when to stop. It may be a healthy salad but I feel I want to eat a huge plateful of it. Then my body says "whoa, can't handle that" and digestion is very slow. I've learned to eat smaller amounts.
This is very hard. I miss getting to eat til I'm *full* but after eight months, it's getting better. It WILL get better. Your body will gradually adjust. You'd do better if you can force yourself to eat several times a day. That way your digestion can kind of keep active and not have to wake up and work on a big meal after having been in slow-down mode all day.
Hope this helps.
Marsha
Posted by heidiramma on August 10, 2005, at 11:46:13
In reply to Re: Help! Wavering between feast/famine dictatorship, posted by 4WD on August 9, 2005, at 22:27:45
Thank you for the feedback. I think you guys are helping me, because instead of the usual "oh I feel nasty this morning, better wait a while before eating." instead has become "OK, gonna make this machine work starting now, no matter what my previous mindset tells me. That didn't work, try this now". I wish you the best of luck in recovery and would appreciate hearing more of how you are doing and how you handle the challenges along the way. Thanks!
heidiramma
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