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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 235 to 259 of 272. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 19, 2009, at 11:22:25
In reply to Re: Idealizing, posted by alexandra_k on August 19, 2009, at 0:22:56
> > Would you say of another poster here that their idea or behavior was 'stupid' if you thought they were big enough to look after themselves?
>
> No, that is not it.If you did think another poster's idea or behavior was stupid, what you would say to them?
--
> > Yes, it's up to me to decide on the rules here. How would it make you feel to abide by them?
> If that is The Way Things Are then fine. But at least be honest about that fact.
>
> And be honest about the fact that this simply isn't negotiable.The way things are here is I decide on the rules. And on what's negotiable.
> he has too much power, I think.
> One could of course say 'its his site' - but isn't this to acknowledge the unfairness of the situation and just basically advocate... sucking up the unfairness?
In what way do you see the situation as unfair?
It sounds like the answer, at least in part, to my earlier question is that abiding by the rules here would make you feel powerless and subservient.
--
> Yeah, I choose what I will and will not post here, I am responsible for what I say.
> But Bob is responsible for what he does and doesn't post here. He is responsible for the way he interprets things and for his blocking behavior.Exactly, we each have the power to choose, and are responsible for, what we do. You chose to post and I choose to interpret as uncivil:
> the stupid rules
> your little chosen circle of idealizers
> don't post to me
> Willful misunderstanding
You're responsible for your posts and I'm responsible for my interpretations. And you choose whether to apologize or rephrase, and are responsible for your choice. And I choose whether to block you, and am responsible for my choice.
Thanks, Nadezda, muffled, Dinah, and Partlycloudy, for trying to help.
Bob
Posted by Partlycloudy on August 19, 2009, at 12:42:21
In reply to Re: choice and responsibility » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on August 19, 2009, at 11:22:25
Sometimes, Babble makes me cry. That's when I know I have to step back. I see what's coming, and there is nothing I can do to prevent it.
I can't say that anything else on the internet has the same impact on my emotional state. This is huge.
pc
Posted by Dinah on August 23, 2009, at 10:32:10
In reply to Re: choice and responsibility » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on August 19, 2009, at 11:22:25
It might be that Alex may not feel willing to make the choice to apologize and rephrase. And it likely is that you will then feel like you need to make the choice to block her, in keeping with Babble policy.
But might it be possible to block her for less than the full time she might receive under the formula? For a week perhaps? Or a month?
This might demonstrate good faith on your part that you really do wish Alex to be part of this community. And allow Alex to choose in the future to remain part of this community by committing to choose to post by site guidelines. Even if she doesn't feel like she can apologize for statements she made in the past.
I recognize that this may be inconsistent with past decisions, and you may not feel able to do this. Nor do I know if Alex would be interested in this.
But it is in keeping with what I have been suggesting recently. That blocks not be based on length but based on a willingness to abide by site guidelines. People might choose to post things in the past that they are willing to choose not to post in the future. Apologizing for things past can sometimes be harder than refraining from doing things in the future.
I think it would be a good thing for Babble for this to be part of the whole blocking process. To allow people to return to Babble from a block, if they are willing to choose to commit to follow site guidelines in the future. With perhaps some assurances given in the form of civility buddies, etc. if the first recommitment is broken. I think that people, as they start receiving longer blocks, might choose to be proactive to have more control over their blocks than they believe themselves currently to have. Making it possible to soften long blocks by their own actions might reduce the fear and resentment.
Just an idea.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2009, at 16:15:35
In reply to Might I make a suggestion? » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on August 23, 2009, at 10:32:10
I appreciate the thought, Dinah, but I choose not to participate in a site where the rules are applied inconsistently, punitively and where posters genuine concerns are unfairly dismissed as arising from their issues.
Dr Bob can block me to kingdom come - I really don't give a sh*t.
I do miss Babblers... But then there are so many former Babblers who have left in protest who I miss as well. I choose to be one one the latter.
(Let Bob try and put things back on posters - 'you lament that there are less people here - what can you do about that' while once again ignoring the most salient feature - his decisions around inconsistent enforcement and long block).
If that isn't stupid... Then... What is it???
I want to let you know that I'd support you in getting help for your issues, Bob.
But I'm sick to death of this place.
Posted by Dinah on August 23, 2009, at 17:54:53
In reply to Re: Might I make a suggestion?, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2009, at 16:15:35
Well, as I said, I support you in any decision that you make. Although of course it does make me sad that you won't be able to get and give support on Babble.
Still, I think the idea has merit, and I hope Dr. Bob does consider it in general, even if you aren't interested in it yourself. Maybe some good can come of this, in terms of the goal of reducing block times overall.
((( Alex )))
Talk to you soon I hope. I haven't heard how things are going lately with school and your therapist.
Posted by gobbledygook on August 23, 2009, at 19:40:37
In reply to Re: make change, posted by alexandra_k on August 12, 2009, at 20:06:04
Hi Alex,
I don't know if you remember, but we were in chat together for hours once in the past when I was someone else. You had me in stitches with your quick wit and hysterical links..."Medication, sometimes the world just needs a break..," Bill and Monica, and some others. That was the most fun I've ever had in chat!!! Thank you for those moments. I thought you were so engaging and real and hoped that you would come back and chat more but I didn't see you for a long time after that. When you eventually did come back I was someone else by then and somehow we never really got to interact again like before.
I will undoubtedly miss your distinctive posts if you go, but I understand, and respect and support whatever you decide is right for you at this time. I also want to say that I have always liked who you are, Alex. Just wanted to let you know in case I don't see you for awhile.
Wishing you zen mindfulness, Alex.
Ava
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 8, 2009, at 12:34:48
In reply to Re: Might I make a suggestion?, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2009, at 16:15:35
> Dr Bob can block me to kingdom come - I really don't give a sh*t.
OK, we each make our choices and are responsible for them.
Please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
I do hope that you choose to remain a member of this community and that this community helps you, if needed, to avoid future blocks.
Dinah and Ava, thanks for trying to help.
More information about posting policies and tips on alternative ways to express oneself are in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the formula:
duration of previous block: 52 weeks
period of time since previous block: 37 weeks
severity: 2 (default)
block length = 36.89 rounded = 37 weeks
Posted by BayLeaf on September 8, 2009, at 19:47:40
In reply to Re: choice and responsibility » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on September 8, 2009, at 12:34:48
Usually you put it in the subject line. Why not this time?
So you won't listen to the MANY MANY MANY requests to stop these long blocks.
Why can't you change your ways on this policy? It's sending good people away from your site.
Unless that's what you want...the slow demise of Babble. If so, good work.
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 28, 2009, at 10:30:21
In reply to Alex blocked for 37 weeks :-( » Dr. Bob, posted by BayLeaf on September 8, 2009, at 19:47:40
> Usually you put it in the subject line. Why not this time?
Because the subject was choice and responsibility. And I've been wondering in general if it needs to be in the subject line.
> So you won't listen to the MANY MANY MANY requests to stop these long blocks.
>
> Why can't you change your ways on this policy?I listen to the requests. But I don't have any plans to change this policy. Posters are free to stop these blocks on their own if they want.
Bob
Posted by Kath on September 28, 2009, at 20:54:49
In reply to Re: choice and responsibility, posted by Dr. Bob on September 28, 2009, at 10:30:21
> Unless that's what you want...the slow demise of Babble. If so, good work.
~ ~ I can't imagine that you want the slow demise of Babble Dr. Bob, & I don't know if it has anything to do with this whole issue, but what I DO know is that on the 'boards' that I go to, there have been way fewer posts & WAY fewer of the old names that I know & love, & not enough 'New' posters to make up for the ones who have gone (in other words, if the 'old' members changed their names).
I feel sad about this & I feel a huge sense of loss.
Kath
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 29, 2009, at 8:46:47
In reply to Re: choice and responsibility » Dr. Bob, posted by Kath on September 28, 2009, at 20:54:49
> I don't know if it has anything to do with this whole issue, but what I DO know is that on the 'boards' that I go to, there have been way fewer posts & WAY fewer of the old names that I know & love, & not enough 'New' posters to make up for the ones who have gone (in other words, if the 'old' members changed their names).
>
> I feel sad about this & I feel a huge sense of loss.I do, too. Though people moving on is to some extent inevitable. Regarding new posters, see my post below about maintaining Babble:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/918926.html
Bob
Posted by Nadezda on October 27, 2009, at 3:42:59
In reply to Re: will there be a 'no twitter' list?, posted by information on June 30, 2009, at 19:44:21
Twitter is a massive forum with so many topics and contributors interacting at once that I don't have any problem about having posts on twitter.
I don't see it as really any different from babble in terms of privacy and wonder if some people aren't responding out of fear of the unknown-- and imagining that it will be all the "bad" things that an "other" place can be.
It feels pretty private to me, in the sense that I don't feel that anything bad will happen if my thoughts are posted there-- or that somehow I'm more vulnerable than I am here, or in life.
Nadezda
Posted by BayLeaf on October 27, 2009, at 3:43:03
In reply to Re: I don't mind having posts on twitter, posted by Nadezda on July 1, 2009, at 16:54:59
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2009, at 3:43:04
In reply to DR BOB - IS THERE AN OPT OUT FOR TWITTER??? (nm), posted by BayLeaf on July 1, 2009, at 21:27:47
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 27, 2009, at 3:43:05
In reply to Re: I don't mind having posts on twitter, posted by Nadezda on July 1, 2009, at 16:54:59
Posted by muffled on October 27, 2009, at 3:43:06
In reply to Opt-out of twitter, posted by Roslynn on July 5, 2009, at 16:42:56
Some I ain't seen in awhiles!
Best wishes to alla you guys :-)
Kinda neat to know yous all out there!
Makes me happy.
Hope you all doing OK.
I am OK.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by delna on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:19
In reply to FWIW opting out, posted by Dinah on October 26, 2009, at 10:03:05
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:20
In reply to Leaving PB or just opting out of twitter/fb ? (nm) » Dinah, posted by delna on October 26, 2009, at 14:52:54
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:21
In reply to Re: will there be a 'no twitter' list?, posted by softheprairie on October 26, 2009, at 18:16:58
as to why any of us who already opted out in the summer are posting to opt out again??
Dr. Bob is not himself linking people's posts to Twitter (who opted out), though granted he has made that possibility more streamlined for OTHERS.
I understand those changing their minds, such as Dinah.
Dr. Bob cannot prevent other people from linking [y]our posts to Twitter.
You mean by this you are saying: "Take those buttons off my posts!!!" ??
I am not trying to be annoying or to defend Dr. Bob either, i just have a logical streak and it is all mixed up over this...
Is that why??
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:22
In reply to completely confused, posted by 10derHeart on October 26, 2009, at 18:42:27
p***ing people off with my questions.
Sorry.
My brain is idiosyncratic and betrays me....
Posted by muffled on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:24
In reply to ignore me, I am dense and probably, posted by 10derHeart on October 26, 2009, at 18:43:36
((((((((10der)))))))
you just fine.
I think its those things showing up on the bottom of posts thats got everyboddy freakin.
You a sweet pie.
Miss ya.
M
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:25
In reply to Re: ignore me, I am dense and probably » 10derHeart, posted by muffled on October 26, 2009, at 19:26:10
Nice to see ya'.
Thanks for the hugs.
I know what it's about, believe me.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/922472.html
I just don't understand *this thread.*
I don't understand repeating oneself or how posting anything extra here helps the actual issue at all, which is about other people, other than Dr. Bob.
I really want straightening out, but I am a hard case. :-(
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:26
In reply to Re: ignore me, I am dense and probably » muffled, posted by 10derHeart on October 26, 2009, at 19:36:15
People are possibly following the new icon link?
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:27
In reply to Re: ignore me, I am dense and probably, posted by Dinah on October 26, 2009, at 19:38:51
I know - that's how I got here.
It's okay.
I am unable to make any of my questions clear.
I am going to give up now.
Have to.
Thanks for trying.
Posted by muffled on October 27, 2009, at 3:44:28
In reply to Re: ignore me, I am dense and probably » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on October 26, 2009, at 19:44:26
"Hi, everyone,
Sorry about springing those on you all. I'm working on an adjustment to address some of your concerns. I'll reply in more detail later. Thanks for your patience,
Bob "
As ever, he doesn't think bout the people, he gets caught up in his computer stuff.
This is Bob, classic Bob.
He DOES NOT 'get 'it'. He doesn't understand how it is for us babblers, he just doesn't.
I am sad to see people beating their heads over his stuff.
But I been here a long time and this is Bob. take it or leave it. he doesn't change. Just don't get all beat up bout it.
Take care,
M
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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