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Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 4:16:44
In reply to Re: It will be interesting to see, posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 4:01:27
Own your own f*ck*ng decisions bobo clown
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 4:31:23
In reply to and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 1:32:05
All those times I did my best. And you stabbed me in the f*ck*ng back, you *ss. The times where I didn't see the block coming. When I was doing the best I f*ck*ng could to play by your rules to the best I could understand them.
You will never stab me in the f*ck*ng back again, do you hear? Do it to my face now. C'mon, while I'm expecting it. At least its a fair fight that way. I get to say goodbye to at least some of the people I care about and it ain't gonna hurt so bad now.
You will never stab be in the back again - you hear?
You brought this on yourself. I told you you needed to be careful with me.
Not *just me* but with everyone
Others told you your blocks were too punitive, too harsh, more harm than good results.
Professionals have been telling you this
You made the decision to sacrifice me 'for the good of the group' or some other self justifying nonsense just because you could, basically.
I'm not the only one, there have been moreNo more. I'm expecting it. C'mon you *ssh*l*.
But don't you dare blame other people for your behavior. I take responsibility for my actions and I know that other posters care about be. And whats more I know that they know that this isn't an expression of my not caring about them at all. That isn't what this is about. This is actually about you, Bob. I'm swearing at you because I actually have a problem with you, not them. With you.
So come on your muthafucker?
Fixed the civility filter yet? You know, the one where if you have it turned on you aren't blocked for incivilities that get through it. Unless... Tis Bobo's whim, of course. C'mon you f*ck*ng *ss.
Posted by Dinah on April 22, 2009, at 7:52:38
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 4:31:23
(((Alex)))
I'm really glad that you can feel the caring from other posters. And I don't think I'm totally deluded in thinking that however infelicitous his word choice may be, Dr. Bob cares about you and would like to see you here too. Maybe he just didn't yet understand that wanting the best for you means understanding that the best for you may be different than what we want in terms of you posting on Babble. Prevail is not the word I would use, nor interesting for that matter. I can't see anyone prevailing. But I think all of us, Dr. Bob included if he understands, want what's best for you at this point in time. I think you expressed some of the pain and fear in this post. I understand how big it is, to try fit in a post. I hope Dr. Bob will hear and understand that too.
I wish there *was* a way to prevail in this situation. Feeling vulnerable sucks.
With my love and concern,
Dinah
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 14:12:11
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 4:31:23
I'm sorry for all the swearing and stuff. Sorry to any posters who I may have offended. And sorry to Bob too, yeah, because one simply shouldn't speak to people in that way.
Yeah. Hurt. I don't think it will ever go away. There is a worry about being stabbed in the back again (one year verdict from on high when you least expect it). Maybe things have changed. Maybe they haven't. I don't know. It is hard to know when you need to forgive and move on or when you should not forget and you should take steps to protect yourself. Hard to know what is most fitting for the situation. Bob just doesn't seem to get it. His words don't mean terribly much. Partly about my mental block, of course, but it is hard when another persons actions affect you so and they really don't seem to understand the impact that their actions had and it really is unclear how much they are thinking about what they did and other similar things that they do to others... No point trying to explain. Been there and the wheels go round and then things escalate. Inevitably. No point. I don't know. Whatever.
Posted by Deneb on April 22, 2009, at 15:31:30
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 14:12:11
((((((((((((Alex))))))))))))))
I'm glad you can see other care about you too.
Sorry you were hurt. Dr. Bob is kind of weird, I don't think he means to hurt us, maybe we should be charitable towards him too. I don't think he understands.
He is not perfect, and in his strange way I think he care about Babblers.
I really don't want to see you blocked Alex. I like you here a lot.
(((((((Alex))))))))
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 15:36:50
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by Deneb on April 22, 2009, at 15:31:30
> Sorry you were hurt. Dr. Bob is kind of weird, I don't think he means to hurt us, maybe we should be charitable towards him too. I don't think he understands.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
fortunately i can't be / stay mad at deneb. you better be learning your biochem missy 'cause i'm gonna be expecting you to help me out.
;-)
I hope you have a nice babble trip. i haven't had the chance to look round san fran but it is one of the places that i most wished i got to. the airport is kinda nice, but sure thats not really the same. take care.
Posted by Toph on April 22, 2009, at 15:54:23
In reply to and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 1:32:05
I've been grieving the death of my mother so I haven't been around. I've missed you alex. You are so smart I know you know what you are doing. I'm not close to many people anymore so I understand if it isn't such a big deal losing babble for a chance to kick Bob in the nuts. He seems to be taking it well, don't you think? If Bob wants us to choose between our friends and civility, that's a no brainer - I choose you. I think you cared about this place, and you cared about me. Thank you alex. I hope this isn't one of Bob's tests. I'd like to think that he really admires you and others like you - the soul of this site. His conundrum is: if he kills the Alexes, he kills Babble.
I hope all is well at school if you are still there.
Toph
Posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 17:18:55
In reply to Re: and of course there are more... » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on April 22, 2009, at 15:54:23
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. must be the time for it. my father recently passed away. hang in there.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 18:18:52
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 14:12:11
> I'm sorry for all the swearing and stuff. Sorry to any posters who I may have offended. And sorry to Bob too, yeah, because one simply shouldn't speak to people in that way.
>
> Yeah. Hurt. I don't think it will ever go away. There is a worry about being stabbed in the back again (one year verdict from on high when you least expect it). Maybe things have changed. Maybe they haven't. I don't know. It is hard to know when you need to forgive and move on or when you should not forget and you should take steps to protect yourself. Hard to know what is most fitting for the situation.Thank you.
I agree, it can also be hard to know if posters have changed, when to forgive them, how much danger they really pose, and how to protect Babble without harming it.
I'm sorry I hurt you even when you were doing your best. And I'm glad you chose to return -- and to stay for more than a minute this time.
Bob
Posted by Phillipa on April 22, 2009, at 19:14:15
In reply to Re: thanks » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 18:18:52
Thanks Dr. Bob Alex is a good person. She's forgiven me for stuff. And Alex so sorry about your recent loss. Love Phillipa ps I seriously have missed you. Hope you will stay. To Forgive is devine.
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 22, 2009, at 19:17:53
In reply to Re: thanks » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 18:18:52
Bob,
Now...do the right thing and unblock Twinleaf.
Please!!!!!
I know you're a busy man, but please read all the threads that's led to her blocks.
I feel the reasons for her blocks are inconsistent at best.She is a fine person who's genuinely helped many here, including myself.
She was an asset here!I am shocked by what I have witnessed here, and saddened by the loss of safety here.
Also, the loss of fondness for you and babble.I'm absolutely sickened by the amount of pain she must be going through...(((sorry Twinleaf))).
Please, Bob...undo this wrong.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by Kath on April 22, 2009, at 19:58:29
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 14:12:11
> I'm sorry for all the swearing and stuff. Sorry to any posters who I may have offended. And sorry to Bob too, yeah, because one simply shouldn't speak to people in that way.
>
> Yeah. Hurt. I don't think it will ever go away.Hi Alex - thx for the apology & sorry about your deep hurt. Also I am sorry to hear that your father died.
Welcome back. :-)) Kath
Posted by Kath on April 22, 2009, at 19:59:55
In reply to Re: thanks » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 18:18:52
Thx Dr. B.
I truly appreciate the tone of your post to Alex.
:-))) Kath
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 22, 2009, at 20:10:40
In reply to Re: and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 17:18:55
Dear Alexandra_K and Toph,
I am very sorry to hear about your father's passing, Alexandra_K,
and your mother's passing Toph. Take good care of yourselves.Stellabystarlight
Posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 1:39:01
In reply to Re: thanks » alexandra_k, posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2009, at 18:18:52
I think it's wondeful if Alexandra K has come back. I don't get the need to be accepted by any online community, let alone, your's, Dr Bob.
So you took her back into your fold. How terribly sick is that?
As a side note, before I'm blocked forever, I want to apologize to Alex K for all the times I baited her into blocks. I was that mean. I ran circles around people, knowing how to be sarcastic, mean, and cruel, and yet be within the "civility" guidelines.
I caused many people, including you to be blocked, manipulating Dr Bob and his "system" the whole time. I knew how to cause trouble and still remain within the guidelines. I could thread a needle of civility and do babblespeak with the best of them.
I wish you the best. No ill will.
Verne
Posted by Zana on April 23, 2009, at 11:18:39
In reply to What a Load, posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 1:39:01
I am a relative newcomer and don't understand the history of Alex being blocked at all.
Anyone want to take on the task of explaining what sounds like a long and difficult story? I really apprehiate understanding this better.
Thank you.Zanz
Posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 12:13:25
In reply to What a Load, posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 1:39:01
Before I'm blocked forever, I just wanted to again apologize for any obnoxious posts last night. I went overboard with the drinking, even by my standards. I need to do a little "remedial" drinking today, just to make it.
I don't usually drink two days in a row but need to "taper".
I'm not a mean drunk in person but if I have access to the internet or get an answering machine, I can be vile. Never been in so much as a fight in real life. Only arrested once for "trespass" when I walked into a church late at night - charges were dropped.
I'm still hopeful about recovery and a long journey of sobriety. If I can stay sober for a year I'll be back.
love verne
Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2009, at 13:54:37
In reply to What Happened?, posted by Zana on April 23, 2009, at 11:18:39
As you say, its a long and difficult story. It is there in the archives if you want to see how things unfolded for yourself. Good luck to you in trying to make sense of it. It is an incomplete register at best. There are probably as many different opinions on what happened as there are individual posters. I'm not sure that dragging it up now is the way to move forwards.
Posted by Kath on April 23, 2009, at 16:15:28
In reply to What Happened?, posted by Zana on April 23, 2009, at 11:18:39
Hi Zana,
I agree with AK. It's all there in the archives & bringing it up again wouldn't accomplish anything positive, in my opinion. In fact, I don't even know the details.
:-)
Posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 16:33:10
In reply to Re: What Happened? » Zana, posted by Kath on April 23, 2009, at 16:15:28
What's so scary about visiting the archives - and why not? Do we cover everything up in the name of Peace?
I don't revisit the archives but why suggest not to? That's more disturbing than anything the archives may reveal.
Let people make up their own minds and explore on their own.
Verne
Posted by Kath on April 23, 2009, at 16:43:57
In reply to Dredge the Pool, posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 16:33:10
> What's so scary about visiting the archives - and why not? Do we cover everything up in the name of Peace?
>
> I don't revisit the archives but why suggest not to? That's more disturbing than anything the archives may reveal.
>
> Let people make up their own minds and explore on their own.
>
> Verne~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Hi Verne,
I'm not sure if your post was in response to mine or not. If so, I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough. I did not mean, nor would I suggest that anyone should not read the archives. Far from it. There're there so that people can read them if they want to.
Once again - not even sure if your post had anything to do with mine. If so, I simply meant that the info was in the archives & why go into it here again now. I was agreeing with Alex K.
Sorry if I wasn't clear.
:-)) Kath
Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2009, at 18:30:18
In reply to What Happened?, posted by Zana on April 23, 2009, at 11:18:39
It can be hard to see a conversation unfold and not really understand what is going on because people are talking about things that you weren't there for. I know I find it hard to feel part of a social group when there are references to things that I don't know about. I do understand that sometimes it helps to know the background to follow what is going on. In this situation I guess things have been raised that maybe shouldn't have been raised. Or something. I guess I'm done. Business as usual. Something. I don't know. I'm sorry.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2009, at 18:32:31
In reply to What a Load, posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 1:39:01
> I want to apologize to Alex K for all the times I baited her into blocks.Yeah well I guess I need to apologize for all the times I baited you into a block, too. I mean, I didn't intend to do so but I now see that trying hard to justify some of Bob's arbitrary-seeming decisions can be a baiting thing to do. An unhelpful thing to do. People did try and explain that to me, over and over. It's something that I needed to learn the hard way. Sorry bout that dude.
Posted by verne on April 23, 2009, at 18:57:20
In reply to Re: What a Load » verne, posted by alexandra_k on April 23, 2009, at 18:32:31
Alex,
I'm so glad you've come around - in more ways than one. We used to argue a lot and I would deliberately bait you, hoping I guess for a block. I was plain mean.
I don't get much out of cyber relationships, whether at Babble or elsewhere. I react to answering machines the same way (can I get a "shout out" from all you fellow borderliners?)
Yet I keep reaching out, hoping to find something real. I'm not real yet want someone else to tell me otherwise. How sad is that?
I don't know you, but you've really changed - you've grown. (hope that didn't sound condesending) You used to argue everything into the ground but your spirit has changed. Geez, I'm so judgemental. Allow me one more judgement: you've improved on yourself - or God (some strange force) did it.
Your on the right track. I need to get back to my own derailment - it's always about me.
Verne
Posted by SLS on April 23, 2009, at 21:03:31
In reply to and of course there are more..., posted by alexandra_k on April 22, 2009, at 1:32:05
I am trying to figure out how to become involved in this conversation without becoming part of it. I just want to drop my own bomb and run away.
- Scott
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