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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 26 to 50 of 157. Go back in thread:
Posted by fayeroe on December 25, 2006, at 17:28:50
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 25, 2006, at 17:03:40
> I never babblemailed Happyflower with any threats. If she is receiving such threats it must be from someone pretending to be me.
>
> I have slipped up and wrote I feel like doing bad things because I felt ignored in chat and I'm sorry about that. I was feeling bad because I felt ignored. I'm not used to feeling ignored and don't know how to handle it in a healthy way.
>
> Deneb*i'm sorry, Deneb, but i wasn't talking about you. pat
Posted by Maxime on December 25, 2006, at 22:12:08
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » fayeroe, posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 16:17:25
> > we're talking, at least i am, about people repeatedly bringing up the subject and perhaps trying to manipulate other posters into paying them more attention or whatever.........pat
>
> I totally agree with this above statement because I have felt manipulated on more than one instance
> and I was
> unable to offer the support that I felt was "demanded" by me. I simply will not play into manipulation games here or anywhere else personally for that matter.
> I still feel manipulated because the person crying "wolf" knows I won't play the game anymore, and refuses to leave me alone, and is now what I feel is using the stiuation to gain even more attention from others, like poor me, happyflower won't talk to me, is ignoring me,
>
> and continues to what I feel is manipulating me through babblemail, threads, and chat. What do I do when I get such a demanding babble mail to either pay attention to me or I will kill myself? But yet when I say they are being manipulating or that I am being manipulated in a secret babble language that I don't understand, I risk getting blocked, when I try to do something about it. Maybe that is the whole idea to hurt others, like me, so they can suppposly feel better about themselves? I don't know, really,but I have had enough BS, and would like the behavior that I feel is harrassing to stop, NOW!I totally agree, but unfortunately Dr. Bob does not.
But thank you for expressing yourself better than I could ever do myself.
Maxime
Posted by notfred on December 25, 2006, at 23:23:53
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » fayeroe, posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 16:17:25
"and continues to what I feel is manipulating me through babblemail, threads, and chat. What do I do when I get such a demanding babble mail to either pay attention to me or I will kill myself? But yet when I say they are being manipulating or that I am being manipulated in a secret babble language that I don't understand, I risk getting blocked, when I try to do something about it."
Tell the person to stop, inform Dr Bob via e-mail.
If the person does not stop, at this point it does not matter what they are writing to you it is the fact that they have continued. Threads and chat are a little tricky (harder to prove they are directly to you) but as I understand it babblemail is directed directly to you. If Dr Bob cannot make it stop then contact his web hosting provider. The next step would be to contact your local police.This is actionable by the police and courts:
"demanding babble mail to either pay attention to me or I will kill myself"
I would contact Dr Bob, his provider, your ISP
AND your local police. You can get an order of restraint even if you do not know the real persons name. It will be up to the courts to figure out who this really is. So the court will bring action
against Dr Bob and his provider to flesh out who this really is. Dr Bobs provider is international so it should not matter if they are not in the USA.In any case, I suspect Dr Bob will help you with this. If he cannot or will not he will have to act
once you get a order of restraint.Make sure you have copies of any communications about this issue.
Posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by notfred on December 25, 2006, at 23:23:53
I repeat, I have not threatened anyone except Dr. Bob and even when I did I didn't place any conditions on my threat of suicide. I didn't say, do this or else I will kill myself. I've never ever said I'll kill myself if you don't do X. I've written in a post that I would *feel* like killing myself when I don't get caring responses, but that isn't a threat. I only said I would *feel* like it. It isn't a crime to feel something. Feel = suicidal ideations, not a threat. I don't know who is babblemailing those threats to Happyflower, but it isn't me. I feel scared after reading Notfred's post. I can't even sleep tonight because I'm terrified. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but wouldn't you be terrified if someone wrote they were going to call the police on you?
I know I should have nothing to fear because I didn't threaten anyone (except Bob and that was a long time ago) with my suicide. Reading this thread upsets me a lot. I'm getting so scared I'm thinking of hanging myself if the police come get me. This is not a threat. I'm only thinking of this (i.e. ideations), but clearly I am very upset and scared to be thinking of this.
If I get into trouble with the police, my life is not worth living anymore. I would rather die than go to jail. If I ever get arrested there is a very high probability that I will kill myself. I'm not a bad person. My life will be ruined if I get into trouble with the police. I know I will get very scared and desperate.
Again, I don't know who is threatening Happyflower, but it isn't me. I swear it isn't me.
I'm so scared right now I'm crying and can't sleep. I did nothing wrong, but I'm still scared because I feel targeted.
Will someone ruin my life just because I made a bad mistake and wrote that I would feel like killing myself if I don't get caring responses?
I didn't direct the "threat" towards anyone. I didn't do anything wrong.
If you want to try to get me into trouble, go right ahead. Babblemail me and I'll give you my name and address. I'm at your mercy, but do you really want to ruin my life?
Deneb*
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 6:27:46
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I have asked you not to babble mail me, chat with me, or post about me, and now you are doing it again, twice above, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:13:03
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » fayeroe, posted by Happyflower on December 25, 2006, at 16:17:25
That no one should be able to blackmail with suicide threats.
As I have stated a few times recently, I feel unable to really visit here while that kind of behaviour is still tolerated, as I don't want to deal with the hurt it causes me. Yes I am losing friendships over it, but I still utterly refuse to be made to feel like I did recently.
Nikki
Posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:21:48
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
How many times *exactly* has someone got to post saying its NOT about you? FFS...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
" > I'm curious, are you guys talking about me?
>
I'm speaking about a behavior and to say a particular poster engages in that behavior would be an accusation to the person. For me, it's more about "what" is being done (IMO) than "who" is doing it. I've been here for a number of years and while sorta uncommon, this behavior wasn't recently invented. "" > I'm curious, are you guys talking about me?
>
(...)
>
> Deneb*
>
>
>
>
>
>No.
Maxime "
"> I never babblemailed Happyflower with any threats. If she is receiving such threats it must be from someone pretending to be me.
>
(...)
>
> Deneb*i'm sorry, Deneb, but i wasn't talking about you. pat"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I know in Denebs world ~everything~ is about Deneb, but, for once, try and realise not everything is about you in the ~real~ world. Try actually reading what people are saying. I have cut and paste the responses left to you so far in this thread saying its not you being talked about by them.
I cannot say the same for my own posts.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 26, 2006, at 8:25:48
In reply to DENEB DO NOT WRITE ABOUT ME » Deneb, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 6:27:46
> JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I have asked you not to babble mail me, chat with me, or post about me, and now you are doing it again, twice above, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Hi, Happyflower. Here are links to relevant items from the FAQ about requesting that someone not post to you:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
and
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#privacyI understand from previous discussions here that DNPs also include Babblemails and chat, so I thought I would let you know.
ClearSkies, posting just as ClearSkies.
Posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 8:53:50
In reply to About DNP's » Happyflower, posted by ClearSkies on December 26, 2006, at 8:25:48
I think the DNP should apply both ways. If I don't write about a person, that person shouldn't write about me either.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 9:11:45
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
I was replying to Notfred.
I swear.
Deneb*
Posted by Farkus on December 26, 2006, at 10:20:31
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:21:48
> I am more upset by "threats" - especially those that that imply suicide to be the consequences of the content/action/support gotten or NOT gotten from other posters or Adm.
>
> FarkusIt's a policy here not to pressure others, so that should be covered?
--
Yes, that *would* cover it. I don't see that guideline used very often on the boards. Not taking a deep study of ALL the boards here, I certainly have NOT - in my limited preception - seen it used in the particular subject this thread is discussing.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
In reply to Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Farkus on December 26, 2006, at 10:20:31
I am also posting about a specific behavior, NOT a specific person.
Saying, "I am thinking about killing myself if you don't stop ignorning me" is the same thing as "I AM killing myself because you are ignoring me". Same blackmail, we can do word play, but the meaning IS the same, and IS still a form of blackmail, which is what this orginal thread was about.
I wish I had saved the babblemails of threat and I wish there were copies of chat's where a certain poster said she WAS going to kill themselves if I ignorned them.I need to stay safe for me, and if I need to ignore a poster, I will do it for my own well being. But I don't need to hear, I am going to kill myself everytime I get into chat either and choose NOT to socialize with a paticular person who I feel is harrassing and blackmailing me. I have a right to talk or not talk who I want without being threatened with sucicide if I don't . And whether it is said, I FEEL like ODing or I AM going to OD, is the same thing in blackmailing a person. It is the intent of causing guilt in another person for their own purposes. There needs to be something done about this behavior on the boards, in chat and in babblemails.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
poster:SatinDoll thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707752.htmlHere is the post where I requested a DNP. In this thread, there are two examples where I am being posted to, using my name even in the body of the post, when I asked them not to.
It is also happening in chat when I have choosen to take the high road and not say anything to them, but yet they still imply me in their sucide threats, if I don't stop ignoring them. This has happened several times.
I didn't save the babble mails where it has also happened.
I have not tried to open any communication at all with this poster, but yet I feel like I am being harrased and blackmailed , especially since I have publicly requested a DO NOT POST.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:23:03
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
I feel that posts that demand others to do something and if they don't , and the poster threatens sucide, should be concidered "uncivil" and that poster should be blocked, like all the other "uncivil" behaviors.
Posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 11:52:23
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
Ok, guys, please calm down. Disengage.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:01:47
In reply to attn. deputies and dr. bob, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 11:10:24
The 2 posts where I am being talked about and to, in this thread is #23, and #29, by someone who was asked not to post to me.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
In reply to Do I have to take y'all outside?, posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 11:52:23
I will calm down when this matter is taken seriously and not made light of by asking us if you should take us all outside. Geeze my mother did do that, and beat the sh*t out of me until I couldn't stand anymore or sit for that matter for days.
Rules have been broken, and nothing is done except threatening to take us outside. If that abusive comment was meant to be funny, well it isn't to anyone who has been "taken outside" and was abused afterwards.
I guess I expected more from a deputy.
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:47:17
In reply to Re: Do I have to take y'all outside? » AuntieMel, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
Posted by notfred on December 26, 2006, at 14:08:42
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger*, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 2:45:00
"I know I should have nothing to fear because I didn't threaten anyone (except Bob and that was a long time ago) with my suicide. Reading this thread upsets me a lot. I'm getting so scared I'm thinking of hanging myself if the police come get me. This is not a threat. I'm only thinking of this (i.e. ideations), but clearly I am very upset and scared to be thinking of this."
You asked me not to post to you, so I understand by posting to me the DNP is resended.You keep on saying you did not do these things and no one has said you did; at least I did not. So if the shoe does not fit, do not wear it.
It the recient discussion of enpowerment I wanted others who feel they are being harrassed to know they have the power to make it stop. There can be real conquences to actions.
Please do not post to me, sorry but I have to protect myself. I have had too may bad experiences IRL with sucide.
Posted by AuntieMel on December 26, 2006, at 16:07:19
In reply to Re: Do I have to take y'all outside? » AuntieMel, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 13:11:54
Sorry, happy. It was an attempt - I guess lame - to diffuse.
I do take it seriously.
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:21:28
In reply to Re: Restate - *Trigger* » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on December 26, 2006, at 7:21:48
> I know in Denebs world ~everything~ is about Deneb, but, for once, try and realise not everything is about you in the ~real~ world.
Please don't jump to conclusions about others, or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override or upgrade deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:25:40
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob - *Trigger*, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 10:38:34
> I need to stay safe for me, and if I need to ignore a poster, I will do it for my own well being. But I don't need to hear, I am going to kill myself everytime I get into chat either and choose NOT to socialize with a paticular person who I feel is harrassing and blackmailing me.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you have a problem with a post, please use the report this post function. If you have an issue with a babblemail please forward it to Dr. Bob, or to a deputy. If you feel that there is an issue in chat, please report it by email or babblemail to Dr. Bob or a deputy.
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override or upgrade deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:29:13
In reply to Re: About DNP's, posted by Deneb on December 26, 2006, at 8:53:50
It's against Babble policy to pressure others, or to post to those who have requested that you not post to them.
It is *not* against the rules, as I understand them, for either party to mention the other party, or to discuss the contents of their posts.
I'm going to have to ask you to please not pressure Happyflower to respond to you, per the civility guidelines as I understand them. If I am misapplying them, I'm sure Dr. Bob will feel free to correct me.
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:43:18
In reply to Please don't pressure others » Deneb, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:29:13
>
> It is *not* against the rules, as I understand them, for either party to mention the other party, or to discuss the contents of their posts.
Posting to someone means directing either the subject line or the body of a post to them. Replying to a post by someone isn't necessarily posting to them.This is what it says in the rules.
Posted by Dinah on December 26, 2006, at 16:49:35
In reply to Re: Please don't pressure others » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on December 26, 2006, at 16:43:18
*Directing* a reply to someone is against the rules. My understanding is that mentioning them or the contents of their posts is not.
I believe it recently came up with me personally, and that was my understanding of the rule.
But if Dr. Bob doesn't agree, you can count on him to say so.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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