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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 12 to 36 of 41. Go back in thread:
Posted by Racer on July 7, 2006, at 0:00:21
In reply to Re: Blocked » scentedgarden, posted by Adrift on July 6, 2006, at 22:14:33
> >
> peace, love , happiness, water and breathing.Don't forget RECYCLE!
(seriously -- very nice post. Thank you.)
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2006, at 2:39:37
In reply to Blocked » happyflower, posted by Dinah on July 6, 2006, at 16:31:08
> I'll let Dr. Bob determine the length of the block.
previous block: 1 week
period of time since previous block: 1 week
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: no
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 1 week, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 0 weeks. If we apply that to her previous block, that's 1 - 0 = 1 weeks. And if we triple that, that's 3 weeks.
Bob
Posted by tryingtobewise on July 7, 2006, at 2:42:57
In reply to Followup redirected to Administration, posted by Dinah on July 6, 2006, at 16:48:42
I guess this might be redirected but I don't get it. One of the major board participants (Dinah) is a "deputy" who can send posts away and block users???
Posted by sleepygirl on July 7, 2006, at 2:42:58
In reply to HUH?, posted by tryingtobewise on July 6, 2006, at 23:13:43
yeah, there are 3 deputies, gardenergirl, Dinah and Auntiemel
they act according to the civility guidelines with Dr. Bob as the final say so
you didn't notice before?
Posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 10:00:51
In reply to Re: the length of the block, posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2006, at 2:39:37
> previous block: 1 week
> period of time since previous block: 1 week
> uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
> particularly uncivil: no
> different type of incivility: no
> clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
> provoked: no
> uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
> already archived: no
>
> If we take 1 week, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 0 weeks. If we apply that to her previous block, that's 1 - 0 = 1 weeks. And if we triple that, that's 3 weeks.
>
> Bob
Bob - Since you did not reply to my email request, nor to GG's post...I feel forced to ask this in pubic.Has the email from HF to me been accounted for in the above calculation? Or is that use of BabbleMail OK?
I did not post previously that the email came from HF, although some people made that correct assumption. But, since you didn't reply to me in all this time, I don't feel I have a choice.
HF's most recent post hurt me even more than the first barrage since she clearly put a lot of thought into her moving post. And in it, she referred repeatedly to my post, as if my post was an intentional attack to cause her horrible painful memories. It was NOT.
Her newest post was heartbreaking...but *I* did not abuse HF. If something I said triggered her into this level of pain, I ABSOLUTELY apologize for that....but I had no intention of hurting her. I only hoped that people reading my "Excuse me" post could know that people with ASPD are also readers of psychcentral. They are car salesmen, lab technicians, AND sometimes criminals. They are not all child molesters, or monsters. Some are, yup. There are horribly cruel and scarey people out there. But since I know a LOT of people with ASPD (I work with them everyday), I felt compelled to post something reminding people that they are not all the same - just as people with any other dx are not the same.
Bob, I'm hurt that after seeing those posts to me, and that email I sent to you, you couldn't even be bothered replying to me to see if I was OK.
Emmy
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2006, at 10:33:16
In reply to Re: Blocked » Dinah, posted by scentedgarden on July 6, 2006, at 17:50:03
> hello!!!!!
Hi! Please remember not to change your posting name without following these steps:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#names
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Tabitha on July 7, 2006, at 10:46:35
In reply to Re: the length of the block, posted by Dr. Bob on July 7, 2006, at 2:39:37
That forumula is so involved, it seems a little bit comical to me. I'd probably just use a couple of variables: length of time since previous block, and "particularly uncivil: yes/no". And maybe a block limit cap so we don't get any more 48-week terms.
But I suspect I may have missed the discussion that came up with this thing. If anyone recalls it, could they be kind enough to link to it?
Posted by verne on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:17
In reply to An apology, explaination, and *child abuse trigger, posted by happyflower on July 6, 2006, at 13:43:04
Happyflower,
I didn't think your post about anti-social personality disorder offensive. Perhaps you could have chosen your words more carefully but it was obvious your intentions were good. You were merely equating anti-social with negative behavior - and the last time I checked there's still nothing positive or healthy about being anti-social.
Besides, one misstep, one wrong word, should truly be *excused* here at Babble. You didn't deserve to be blindsided with the overly indignant, disingenuous, falsely polite, and downright pissy: "Excuse Me" post. You were ambushed.
I, too, experienced torture at the hands of my mother until I was finally placed in foster care at the age of 5. I started self-injuring (cutting) in my early twenties - usually after anything good happened in my life. One pdoc described my condition with the words "constant emotional pain". I grew out of SI'ing in my 30's but still struggle with most of the other borderline traits, anxiety, PTSD, and atypical depression. I bring this up because I think I can relate to what you're going through.
I saw "Sybil" for the very first time just last year and it really touched me. I was shook up and felt validated at the same time. My mother used some of the same techniques employed by Sybil's mother. I was so traumatized I nearly flunked the first grade and my foster parents thought I was autistic. I was suicidal by the age of 12.
If you haven't seen Sybil I'm not sure I can recommend it. More than a movie about multiple personality disorder, the film explores Sybil's childhood abuse at the hands of her sadistic, and disturbed, mother. I plan to see it again. (a note about this film. There are a couple versions; later copies omit a couple vital scenes. I think the WE channel shows the uncut version)
Take heart in knowing you are a survivor and breaking the pattern of abuse. I think you're in a heroic struggle. Hang in there.
Verne (the frequent vacactioner)
PS: I hate to take away any suspense but I know I'll be blocked for this post. I still think it's a great site for med issues and will continue to visit.
Posted by curmudgeon on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:17
In reply to An apology, explaination, and *child abuse trigger, posted by happyflower on July 6, 2006, at 13:43:04
OK. No sarcasm. This outpouring of support is wonderful and flies in the face of the civility rules that brought out the block. All of these people WERE NOT offended by either set of posts. They simply recognized HF's pain and wanted to help. HF can't say thanks but I bet she wishes she could.
Posted by Dinah on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:17
In reply to Re: AE and *child abuse SI trigger » happyflower, posted by verne on July 7, 2006, at 11:44:11
> You didn't deserve to be blindsided with the overly indignant, disingenuous, falsely polite, and downright pissy: "Excuse Me" post. You were ambushed.
Hi Verne. I know you're trying to support Happyflower and I appreciate that, but the idea here is to be supportive to all posters. So I'm going to have to ask you to please not jump to conclusions about others, or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
You've been asked to be civil before, so I'm going to block you from posting. I'll let Dr. Bob determine the length.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:18
In reply to Blocked » verne, posted by Dinah on July 7, 2006, at 13:01:08
It's fine to support Happyflower. I support her too, and hope she comes back to post.
However, there's another poster also involved, and she's also deserving of support. Emmy has a long history of supportive posting, and she's often been supportive to me, just as Happyflower has.
Let's all keep the civility guidelines in mind?
Posted by Racer on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:18
In reply to Can you feel the love?, posted by curmudgeon on July 7, 2006, at 11:53:42
I agree that it's wonderful when we see support for other posters here.
I don't agree that the civility guidelines are misplaced, though, because I felt very strongly offended when I read the posts in question. I also felt very upset when I read the original post on this thread. I just didn't get involved in the discussion. I didn't want to post anything, because I thought it would be a very good way for me to get into trouble, and maybe even *earn* a block myself.
I'm putting the emphasis there because I think sometimes people forget that the posters who are blocked have exhibited behavior that brought about the blocks. It's not a case of arbitrarily blocking posters right and left, it's a case of *earning* the block by our own actions. I'm including myself in there -- I've been PBC'd, at times I didn't expect it but recognized it was an appropriate response to my actions; and other times I disagreed with the PBC, but could still see the reason behind it.
So, I think I'd say it might be more fair to say that people who were offended by the original posts may not have chosen to become involved on this thread. I think that happens sometimes, which can kinda skew the perceived opinion base regarding blocks.
Respectfully yours,
Racer
Who will now go back to being very, very quiet on this subject and others like it...
Posted by gardenergirl on July 7, 2006, at 13:15:18
In reply to Can you feel the love?, posted by curmudgeon on July 7, 2006, at 11:53:42
> OK. No sarcasm. This outpouring of support is wonderful and flies in the face of the civility rules that brought out the block. ... They simply recognized HF's pain and wanted to help.
There's nothing that "flies in the face of civility guidelines" about supporting someone and expressing caring and concern--to anyone.
I think it's lovely that people are posting messages of support and caring to HF. Her pain is separate from her behavior, and I'm glad to see that recognized.
I join others who have posted acknowledging how painful her experiences must have been and how much it must still be painful today. No one deserves that. I wish no one had to experience that. And I wish HF had not.
gg
Posted by Racer on July 7, 2006, at 13:34:24
In reply to Re: the length of the block » Dr. Bob, posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 10:00:51
Emmy, I am very sorry that you received such a babblemail. I do think it is an abuse of the B-mail system, and that anything which is not civil on the boards should not be considered civil via B-mail.
You know, I have a lot more to say, but I won't, because I am a coward. I don't want to say it here, and get blocked for doing so.
I'll just tell you, Emmy, that while you and I don't interact much, and I really can't say we're friends, I have always appreciated your posts, and admired your good sense and intelligence -- and humor. I'm sorry you became the focus of posts like the ones in question here, and much more sorry that someone used babblemail this way towards you. I do hope that Dr Bob will respond to this topic soon.
Supportive thoughts aimed your way.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 7, 2006, at 13:47:22
In reply to Re: the length of the block » Dr. Bob, posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 10:00:51
> Bob, I'm hurt that after seeing those posts to me, and that email I sent to you, you couldn't even be bothered replying to me to see if I was OK.
Emmy,
I'm glad you expressed this. And I wish I could somehow ease the hurt, my friend. You didn't ask for this, nor do you deserve it. No one does. You do deserve the courtesy and respect of a reply. I'm sorry that hasn't been forthcoming.Take care,
gg
Posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 14:28:32
In reply to Blocked » verne, posted by Dinah on July 7, 2006, at 13:01:08
When someone has negative feelings about a poster, anything that poster writes can be interpreted as negative....e.g., "overly indignant, disingenuous, falsely polite, and downright pissy".
The whole thing I wrote regarding ASPD was,"Substitute ANY other dx in that sentence and tell me that's OK? It's a dx with symptoms they didn't aspire to - any more than the rest of us." How is that disingenuous? It's my honest feeling. It's falsely polite?? Should I have cursed more? What do you want from me?
I still don't understand how this has become the basis of such animosity. I don't even know Verne or HF, and have no clue why this has happened. I can't recall ever posting to either of them. I'm tired of this.
GG, Racer, Dinah - thank you for your kindness and understanding.
Posted by Gabbi~G on July 7, 2006, at 14:50:16
In reply to Re: AE and *child abuse SI trigger » happyflower, posted by verne on July 7, 2006, at 11:44:11
You seem to forget that though others may not be as open about it, it's quite possible that someone who has suffered a great deal and been triggered, may have written the "p*ssy" posts that offend you. It goes both ways Verne.
Posted by madeline on July 7, 2006, at 15:29:54
In reply to Re: the whole mess, posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 14:28:32
It was the "excuse me" in the original subject line that trigged HF.
Posted by Gabbi~G on July 7, 2006, at 15:48:12
In reply to Re: the whole mess, posted by tofuemmy on July 7, 2006, at 14:28:32
It's yucky, and I don't understand the animosity, or interpretations either, *not at all*
I'm sorry this happened to you, especially after you just came back.
Posted by sleepygirl on July 7, 2006, at 18:29:16
In reply to Re: AE and *child abuse SI trigger » happyflower, posted by verne on July 7, 2006, at 11:44:11
I am upset about how you described the quality of emmy's post, not fair verne (in my opinion of course)
2 words poorly chosen (or not!) DO NOT in my opinion merit such a characterization
...a little benefit of the doubt could go a long way here, in my opinion of course
Posted by wildcardII on July 7, 2006, at 18:35:42
In reply to Re: AE and *child abuse SI trigger » happyflower, posted by verne on July 7, 2006, at 11:44:11
Posted by tofuemmy on July 8, 2006, at 13:03:22
In reply to Re: the whole mess, posted by madeline on July 7, 2006, at 15:29:54
How many different ways can you intonate "Excuse me?"? Use every variation you can think of. Say it like Steve Martin on SNL, say it like your grandmother, your hairdresser, etc.
If you hate Emmy, or you are angry for some reason, it may sound snotty. That does NOT NOT NOT mean that it was MEANT to sound snotty.
I had interrupted a long conversation to bring up a point from HP's earlier post. As in, ...excuse me for interrupting.
I need a drink.
em
Posted by tofuemmy on July 8, 2006, at 13:09:32
In reply to Sorry (((Emmy)))), posted by Gabbi~G on July 7, 2006, at 15:48:12
Thank you Gabbi! Your support means a lot to me.
((((Gorgeous Gabbi))))
Posted by tofuemmy on July 8, 2006, at 13:10:56
In reply to Re: AE and *child abuse SI trigger » verne, posted by sleepygirl on July 7, 2006, at 18:29:16
Thank you SG! I wasn't feeling "pissy" then, but I sure am now! :-)
Em
Posted by Gabbi~G on July 8, 2006, at 15:15:47
In reply to Re: Sorry (((Emmy)))), posted by tofuemmy on July 8, 2006, at 13:09:32
Of course! My brain has a problem wrapping itself around this kind of stuff.
Sometimes it feels like when I had laid charges against my ex and in court everything I had said was interpreted or taken out of context in order to arrive at a conclusion that no one could ever really know.
It's gut wrenching and frustrating. When I see it happening, especially to someone I care about it hurts.I've read your posts for two years now, and there's nothing to indicate that you are anything but a funny, sensitive, intelligent person, who has had her own share of suffering.
BTW I felt the same way about my apology when it's sincerity was being questioned as you did about being pissy..
It was like, well the funny thing is I was sorry, but now, ah, not so much.
: )
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