![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 45 to 69 of 71. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2006, at 22:59:06
In reply to Re: Please be civil » Dinah, posted by Daisym on February 27, 2006, at 20:58:20
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2006, at 2:01:53
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by 5 on February 27, 2006, at 7:13:14
> Don't people find it strange that he wants to hang out with a bunch of women in the grip of transference?
Are you calling KID A a woman? :-)
Bob
Posted by Sobriquet Style on February 28, 2006, at 4:48:47
In reply to Re: Ps » Sobriquet Style, posted by 10derHeart on February 27, 2006, at 21:05:30
Posted by AuntieMel on February 28, 2006, at 9:03:03
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2006, at 2:01:53
Posted by LegWarmers on February 28, 2006, at 9:10:53
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2006, at 2:01:53
Posted by KID A on February 28, 2006, at 13:00:12
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by Dr. Bob on February 28, 2006, at 2:01:53
> > Don't people find it strange that he wants to hang out with a bunch of women in the grip of transference?
>
> Are you calling KID A a woman? :-)
>
> BobI'm going to be in the grip of low self esteem if someone doesn't say I'm gorgeous--- stat.
Posted by LegWarmers on February 28, 2006, at 14:19:52
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by KID A on February 28, 2006, at 13:00:12
>
> I'm going to be in the grip of low self esteem if someone doesn't say I'm gorgeous--- stat.I think you are hOt and gorgeous!
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 1, 2006, at 1:14:27
In reply to Please be civil » 5, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2006, at 9:50:25
> > Don't people find it strange that he wants to hang out with a bunch of women in the grip of transference?
>
> Please don't jump to conclusions about others or post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.I just want to be clear that I agree with Dinah and my previous lighthearted remark was not intended in any way to condone jumping to conclusions...
Bob
Posted by Racer on March 1, 2006, at 13:11:00
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by 5 on February 27, 2006, at 7:13:14
> Don't you have friends in real life, Dr Bob? Don't people find it strange that he wants to hang out with a bunch of women in the grip of transference? Don't people find that just a little disconcerting?
It's taken me a bit of time to respond to this, giving myself time to settle my jets before I got myself in trouble. I think I'm cooler now.
When I first read this, it felt like a slap in the face. I won't address the question of whether or not I feel transference in any situation, because I do't feel qualified to do so. I will say that I resent someone who knows my situation so much less than I do stating that I am "in the grip of transference."
I also feel as though I'm collateral damage in a situation that has nothing to do with me, and that feels bad, too.
So, the bottom line is that I feel bad after reading something someone else wrote. Someone who, so far as I know, doesn't even know me to make judgements about me. I hope someone came out of this situation feeling good. Otherwise it just seems like we've all lost.
Posted by crushedout on March 1, 2006, at 14:45:05
In reply to Re: San Francisco » 5, posted by Racer on March 1, 2006, at 13:11:00
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 1, 2006, at 19:02:43
In reply to Re: San Francisco » 5, posted by Racer on March 1, 2006, at 13:11:00
It was very civil
I thought the post was unusual because the general complaint I hear about Dr. Bob is that he doesn't see us as individuals, we are a group experiment.
And yet, when he does something like invite people out for drinks, which I thought was a nice gesture.
Suddenly.. according to the poster the attendees would be " a group of women in the grip of transference"
I certainly felt de-personalized by that comment, though I'm not attending, nor have I experienced transference that I know of anyway.It also seems that well, as dr. Bob has likely clued into by now. : )
He can't win.
Posted by 5 on March 1, 2006, at 21:33:31
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions, posted by Dr. Bob on March 1, 2006, at 1:14:27
> > > Don't people find it strange that he wants to hang out with a bunch of women in the grip of transference?
So people might feel accused or put down if you say they are having a transference response?
I didn't know at was an accusatory / putting down thing to say...
I'm sorry for the hurt feelings. I didn't intend to hurt anybody.
For those who attended...
Would you meet other men in person who you had only talked to off the internet?
Why does it feel safer to meet with Dr Bob?
Especially given that... He doesn't even talk in proper sentances ;-)
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 1, 2006, at 21:37:24
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » Dr. Bob, posted by 5 on March 1, 2006, at 21:33:31
Um.. 5
Your slip is showing.
Posted by 5 on March 1, 2006, at 21:39:29
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » 5, posted by Gabbix2 on March 1, 2006, at 21:37:24
You mean you didn't notice it before?
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 1, 2006, at 21:58:55
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » Gabbix2, posted by 5 on March 1, 2006, at 21:39:29
I just wasn't sure how concerned you were about it is all : )
Posted by Tabitha on March 2, 2006, at 0:00:44
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by KID A on February 28, 2006, at 13:00:12
> I'm going to be in the grip of low self esteem if someone doesn't say I'm gorgeous--- stat.
I remember your pic and you are a cutie!
Posted by 5 on March 2, 2006, at 4:00:03
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » 5, posted by Gabbix2 on March 1, 2006, at 21:58:55
> I just wasn't sure how concerned you were about it is all : )
How concerned can I afford to be?
Changing is harder than people might be inclined to think it is...
People don't have to like it.
It is okay.
Well...
More to the point...
There is nothing to be done.
I'm here for a short time etc etc...
Tying up loose ends...
Or something.
This community is interesting in how people change
Flavor of the month...
Then it is like they just pop out of existence
And its okay
It doesn't matter
Things continue on
Nobody is worse off
Because things continue on
Nobody notices
Or not after a time
And all things considered
The community is better offBecause that is what blocks are about
And when they start to stack up
One has got to start wondering what the message is...Change in personality
aka pervasive posting style
One poster noted that
And I suppose one is left having to conclude that that is true
But that being the case
I'm here for a short time
Tying up lose ends
And then...
Things will continue
Better off.
I mean all the people who may have felt accused or put down in my wake...
Better off.Strange.
But there it is.
Posted by 10derHeart on March 2, 2006, at 11:29:58
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » Gabbix2, posted by 5 on March 2, 2006, at 4:00:03
>>Then it is like they just pop out of existence
And its okay
It doesn't matter<<I completely disagree. It does matter.
>>Things continue on
Nobody is worse off<<I don't believe you can possibly know that that's true for each individual other poster. Perhaps some feel a huge void in the community.
>>Nobody notices<<
Again, I totally disagree. You'd be surprised what people notice....
>>The community is better off
So you say. Definitely debatable.
((5))
Posted by zenhussy on March 2, 2006, at 13:42:30
In reply to Re: San Francisco » KID A, posted by Tabitha on March 2, 2006, at 0:00:44
>> I'm going to be in the grip of low self esteem if someone doesn't say I'm gorgeous--- stat.
>>>> I remember your pic and you are a cutie!he (haven't checked closely as that isn't polite but am rather convinced he is male) is a ravishingly handsome gentleman who has been a lovely houseguest during his stay.
glad someone else remembers those pics from way back ;)
Posted by KID A on March 2, 2006, at 14:33:31
In reply to Re: San Francisco » KID A, posted by Tabitha on March 2, 2006, at 0:00:44
> > I'm going to be in the grip of low self esteem if someone doesn't say I'm gorgeous--- stat.
>
> I remember your pic and you are a cutie!
>And now, I couldn't be happier with the way this went!
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 2, 2006, at 16:21:53
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » Gabbix2, posted by 5 on March 2, 2006, at 4:00:03
I can't say everything I want to right now, but I will.
In the mean time, It's summed up pretty well on my post to you in Social.If there's anything you can interpret negatively.
It's not meant that way. : )
Posted by Gabbix2 on March 2, 2006, at 17:22:48
In reply to Re: San Francisco, posted by KID A on March 2, 2006, at 14:33:31
No Doubt about it Kid-A
You are a very attractive man. indeed.
Posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 19:59:01
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » Gabbix2, posted by 5 on March 2, 2006, at 4:00:03
> > I just wasn't sure how concerned you were about it is all : )
>
> Changing is harder than people might be inclined to think it is...Yeah… that’s true. And it takes time…
> I'm here for a short time etc etc...
>
> Tying up loose ends...
>
> Or something.Please don’t go… we love you.
> This community is interesting in how people change
> Flavor of the month...
> Then it is like they just pop out of existence
> And its okay
> It doesn't matter
> Things continue on
> Nobody is worse off
> Because things continue on
> Nobody notices
> Or not after a time
> And all things considered
> The community is better offReally? I suppose it’s difficult to be sure because the stuff people post isn’t necessarily all the stuff they’re thinking.
I can’t believe you could disappear without being missed.
In fact, I know for sure that it’s not OK for you to disappear. Because there is no one like you on these boards. There is no one like you who can post the most intimate personal stuff one moment and the most complex philosophical stuff the next. There is no one like you who can support people who are going through the struggles you went through a few months or years ago.
I’ve seen your posts make a huge difference to people here. There are people here who feel no one in the world understands them except you. Maybe they don’t say it, but it’s true. Heck, your posts have made a huge difference to me. In fact, the very first time I ever posted, you were the first person to answer. Have I mentioned recently that I love you?
> Because that is what blocks are about
> And when they start to stack up
> One has got to start wondering what the message is...I can see your point. And it’s hard. It’s hard to see blocks as an impartial aspect of the system, especially when, as you’ve said, a charitable reading would have sufficed. But I hope you don’t think that your blocks have been in any way welcomed. When you get blocked it’s devastating.
> Change in personality
> aka pervasive posting style
> One poster noted that
> And I suppose one is left having to conclude that that is trueGee, we all have our own posting styles, just like we all have our own conversational styles. I can’t please everyone all the time, and I don’t try to; neither should you. I hope you know that you have a lot of support…
> But that being the case
> I'm here for a short time
> Tying up lose ends
> And then...
> Things will continue
> Better off.
> I mean all the people who may have felt accused or put down in my wake...
> Better off.No… No one is better off without you. This community is not better off without you. Sometimes people might feel accused or put down. My husband accuses me and puts me down sometimes. We work it out and I still love him. Relationships are hard, especially online relationships. But you bring something to this community that no one else can offer. And we appreciate it.
Sorry that I haven’t been more forthcoming in taking your side. I agree with almost everything you say and I wish you would never ever be blocked again. Your comments are interesting and articulate. It’s hard to see how anyone can negotiate the politics board (that’s why I stay away) but you do a great job of telling it as you see it and if people are offended, well… that doesn’t make you a bad person. Even if people don’t agree with you, I hope they still value you. I know I value you very much.
Love,
Tamar
Posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 23:06:29
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » 5, posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 19:59:01
Posted by agent858 on March 12, 2006, at 18:24:41
In reply to Re: jumping to conclusions » 5, posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 19:59:01
thanks...
(((((tamar)))))
(((((10)))))
((((((muffled))))))had a good cry now...
love you guys too.
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.