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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:44:31
In reply to Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:33:58
To elaborate on my previous thought, every action and reaction I make seems completely forced. If I had a choice in life and I had an absurd amount of money, I would just sit in the sand at the beach and stare at the ocean while drinking fruity cocktails. I would not interact with anyone. Is this normal or is this depression?
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2014, at 9:42:03
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:44:31
Could be a lot of things. To me the hurry get away in conversations is more anxiety to me. If I am more relaxed I actively seek out conversations when out and about usually on my bike with neighbors who also are outside. Once I get involved in something. I usually feel better.
I can't tolerate being still unless I feel I've accomplished something with activity first. Then I feel free to sit and relax. I've always been this way. So I think it's more personality with anxiety as always have been anxious too. Phillipa
Posted by Babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 19:35:08
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » babbler20, posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2014, at 9:42:03
That makes sense. I really feel like I have no genuine feelings or emotions other than sadness or depression. I basically fake every emotion. I'm not sure why this is.
Posted by baseball55 on July 18, 2014, at 20:02:47
In reply to Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:33:58
> I'm curious about whether everyone has the same experience as a depressed person as I do. I was having a conversation with someone about 20 minutes ago and he was talking for a long time. To be honest, I didn't care about what he was saying and I was thinking to myself "Is this guy done yet?" Every time I said something, I only said it because it was the appropriate response to what he said. The words that came out of my mouth felt forced. If he wasn't someone that I needed to get along with, I would have just said nothing. I often feel this way when I'm in social situations. Does anyone else experience conversations this way because of their depression?
I've never felt this way. I had atypical depression, where moods can be reactive and improve when engaged with others.
I don't mean to be unkind, but I would see that kind of reaction as pretty self-centered. Of course, it's hard to be there for others when you are feeling bad yourself, but being there for others is a good antidote to feeling bad.
Posted by Babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 20:43:26
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » babbler20, posted by baseball55 on July 18, 2014, at 20:02:47
That's an interesting way to look at it. I just don't have an interest in anything and that includes the things people often say. I think that makes me depressed not self centered. Self centered people tend to be confident and lack anxiety, I certainly do not fit that description.
Posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 2:59:55
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 20:43:26
Yes. At a very low point, melancholic, I could care less. There was a lack of desire or pleasure response which indicates (to me) there would be no motivation to pursue conversation. Although, at that time, a drink on the beach would have been wasted on me. And yes, conversation felt robotic. I think of it as an expression of anhedonia.
Posted by Zyprexa on July 19, 2014, at 5:10:36
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:44:31
My mind tends to wander some times while in a conversation. Also I have anxiety in social situations like philipa. I don't think it has anything to do with depression.
Posted by phidippus on July 19, 2014, at 12:06:38
In reply to Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:33:58
I experience conversations like that whether or not I am depressed.
Eric
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 14:03:17
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 2:59:55
Hmm, I'm glad someone can relate. Thank you.
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 14:04:24
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Zyprexa on July 19, 2014, at 5:10:36
Hmmm, I have sever social anxiety. When I'm engaged in a conversation, I can't wait for the other person to hurry up and finish so I can escape the social pressure. Can you relate to this?
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 14:05:26
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » babbler20, posted by phidippus on July 19, 2014, at 12:06:38
I think the problem is that this occurs during every conversation that I have.
Posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:03:52
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 14:05:26
My social anxiety is severe too! :-)
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 15:06:00
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » babbler20, posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:03:52
Has anything ever made it better? I've tried everything.
Posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:14:04
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 15:06:00
Nope. Xanax for a few years, but that proved dead end.
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 15:48:24
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:14:04
yeah, benzos work for a couple weeks for me before I become tolerant. Thanks.
Posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:54:37
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 15:48:24
I had an o.k. run on lexapro. It 'helped' for awhile, but since my anxiety is, well, pretty severe, it's aid was like covering an iceberg tip :(
At least it helped. I felt calmer about having the anxiety....
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 16:07:42
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 15:54:37
That's interesting. Parnate is the only thing that helped my anxiety, but that might have been because it caused such bad REM sleep supression that I was too tired to feel anxiety.
Posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 16:28:34
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 16:07:42
Have you tried the gold standard (Nardil)? I am afraid of insomnia and parnate, though I've heard it's effective for neurotic/bipolar depression. I forgot Emsam. It also helped a little. I need focused CBT 5x weekly :)
Posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 17:00:10
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Beckett on July 19, 2014, at 16:28:34
Hi, I haven't tried Nardil. I'm not inclined to go back down the MAOI road. They do work for depression and anxiety, but they destroy your body. After a little while, you just start to feel ill and rundown on them. The REM supression from Parnate was so bad that I couldn't see straight by the end of the day and I was slurring my speech. I've tried CBT, but that wasn't of any help. I'm glad it's working for you.
Posted by baseball55 on July 19, 2014, at 19:34:07
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by Babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 20:43:26
> That's an interesting way to look at it. I just don't have an interest in anything and that includes the things people often say. I think that makes me depressed not self centered. Self centered people tend to be confident and lack anxiety, I certainly do not fit that description.
Being self-centered doesn't mean being confident. It just means thinking about oneself and not thinking about others. Most people with mental illness are self-centered almost by definition.
Posted by SLS on July 21, 2014, at 11:26:36
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » Babbler20, posted by baseball55 on July 19, 2014, at 19:34:07
> Most people with mental illness are self-centered almost by definition.
This is the first time that I have heard this. What makes you say that?
I am under the impression that many people with depression are introspective, but this is not the same as being self-centered, is it?
- Scott
Posted by SLS on July 21, 2014, at 11:37:02
In reply to Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 18, 2014, at 0:33:58
I tend to be quiet and not terribly social while depressed. However, I am gregarious and talkative during times of remission. Anxiety is not the cause of my avoidance of people when depressed. My depression is one of anergia and slowed-thinking. I have nothing to talk about because I am so vegetative. My mind is inactive and mostly empty. My mood is not at all reactive. I am inclined to remain silent and motionless. I avoid people because I am uncomfortable being seen this way.
- Scott
Posted by baseball55 on July 21, 2014, at 20:51:11
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » baseball55, posted by SLS on July 21, 2014, at 11:26:36
> > Most people with mental illness are self-centered almost by definition.
>
> This is the first time that I have heard this. What makes you say that?
>
> I am under the impression that many people with depression are introspective, but this is not the same as being self-centered, is it?
>
> Being self-centered isn't (in my usage anyway) the same as being conceited or narcissistic. It just means thinking about oneself rather than others. If you are in a social situation and think - they'll hate me, I won't know what to say, etc - then this is self-centered. You are around people and thinking about yourself rather than thinking about them (or are thinking about them only in terms of how they think about you). A selfless person would, instead, focus on the others - how are they doing, what do they think about? An other-centered person thinks about how they can be of service to others.In 12 step groups, people talk a lot about the need to let go of "self-centered fear." By this they mean precisely the sorts of fearful thoughts common in social anxiety or even in depression (I can't bear this, etc.)
When I am in the throes of mental illness, most of my thoughts are about me and how I feel. When I am feeling well, I focus on the needs of others. When I am in the grip of depression, I am not a very good friend, because I am too much in my own head to think about the needs of others.
> - Scott
Posted by Zyprexa on July 22, 2014, at 23:20:01
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience?, posted by babbler20 on July 19, 2014, at 14:04:24
Yes I can. I have social anxiety. I get anxious when leaving the house, or when I get ready to talk to someone new. It is less of a problem when my meds are working. If I am completely off my zyprexa I can t even leave the house. If I do I can't contain it.I think people are thinking stuff about me. They are all looking at me. I get in a space where I am not really there, mind is in a different place, and I don't think about where I am, I can't. One time I stopped zyprexa for a few days and was so anxious I was sitting in my car at college and all I could think about was the impending pressure and anxiety that I could only think of running across the parking lot screaming. But I didn't. I think I went back on zyprexa after.
Posted by babbler20 on July 23, 2014, at 16:22:26
In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » babbler20, posted by Zyprexa on July 22, 2014, at 23:20:01
Hi, I can relate to your experience to a certain degree, but I don't experience the paranoia. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, but at least Zyprexa calms you down. I'd give Zyprexa a shot, but I just lost 40 lbs, so I don't want to go down that road.
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