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Re: Your Depression Experience? » SLS

Posted by baseball55 on July 21, 2014, at 20:51:11

In reply to Re: Your Depression Experience? » baseball55, posted by SLS on July 21, 2014, at 11:26:36

> > Most people with mental illness are self-centered almost by definition.
>
> This is the first time that I have heard this. What makes you say that?
>
> I am under the impression that many people with depression are introspective, but this is not the same as being self-centered, is it?
>
> Being self-centered isn't (in my usage anyway) the same as being conceited or narcissistic. It just means thinking about oneself rather than others. If you are in a social situation and think - they'll hate me, I won't know what to say, etc - then this is self-centered. You are around people and thinking about yourself rather than thinking about them (or are thinking about them only in terms of how they think about you). A selfless person would, instead, focus on the others - how are they doing, what do they think about? An other-centered person thinks about how they can be of service to others.

In 12 step groups, people talk a lot about the need to let go of "self-centered fear." By this they mean precisely the sorts of fearful thoughts common in social anxiety or even in depression (I can't bear this, etc.)

When I am in the throes of mental illness, most of my thoughts are about me and how I feel. When I am feeling well, I focus on the needs of others. When I am in the grip of depression, I am not a very good friend, because I am too much in my own head to think about the needs of others.

> - Scott


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poster:baseball55 thread:1068454
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