![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by poser938 on March 2, 2014, at 13:10:43
"You don't know what real problems are!"
"You're spoiled!"
"You're not trying hard enough, just try harder and you'll feel better."
Or my dad, when speaking to extended family members, tells them "Michael has just given up on life."These are the things I hear from people in my own family. And family members who do say they understand I'm going through something that us much more than I can deal with, they don't say a word to those who do demean the hell I've experienced.
Often, when a family member has a severe physical illness, their whole family seeks ways they can help. When it comes to my severe mental illness, many in my family treat me as if I'm just lost and confused. I even had a chance at getting my mental health back a few years ago, though it involved risk with taking incredibly high doses of Cyproheptadine. And it involved going to multiple doctors to prescribed it. It was a very complicated situation, but my dad decided to tell me "Your situation isn't that serious, so, I'm not going to help you with getting the Cyproheptadine you need. In a way this was understandable, because of the high doses I needed. But what is not understandable is ow, a few years later, now that "the sh*t has hit the fan", and I mention to him that I can't live sith this serious illness much longer, his advice to me is that "you are spoiled.", and "you don't know what problems are!"
I often wonder how my life would be different if my family took my situation as seriously as familys do when a family member has Cancer. Often, victims of Cancer are told how amazing and brave they are.
And it makes it even more difficult that im almost unable to describe things, such as how i feel to my family, because my thoughts and emotions feel so inhibited. This lets my family cop out even further, and pretend like my problems "arent real problems."
I feel that things would be much better if I had an illness that would take my life once my body has had enough of it. But I could live into old age with the serious mental health problems I have today. Though I'm sure it will take some years off my life.
I know I'm quite irritable, but I still understand right and wrong very well. And I understand when I'm getting a raw deal....And then the whole Mental Health Industry also treats those with sever mental illnesses as a joke. But that's a whole other story.
Posted by Partlycloudy on March 2, 2014, at 15:57:00
In reply to Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by poser938 on March 2, 2014, at 13:10:43
I don't disclose the most serious aspects of my mental health to my immediate family anymore. Even as there is a compelling and present history of mental illness rampant as far as the family trees can see, the power of denial remains much more powerful.
It adds to my isolation, but I live far away from any of them. No telling what shape I'd be in if I was closer. Sometimes, these things are a blessing in disguise, particularly if past trauma is involved. That will never be resolved or accepted. I tried out the"what would you have done now vs. what happened then?" (I wisely kept silent at the time, sensing there was no help for me at home.) the present answer? "Nothing."
We are wiser than we know.
Posted by Tomatheus on March 2, 2014, at 15:59:32
In reply to Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by poser938 on March 2, 2014, at 13:10:43
You wrote a good post, poser938, you really did. I somehow doubt that you deserve to be told the things that those closest to you have told you, but unfortunately, I think that those of us who have mental illness symptoms that we'd consider to be "severe" hear comments similar to those that you've been told all too often.
To the credit of those who make comments such as those that you included in your post, I think it can be difficult for those who haven't experienced significant impairment from a mental illness to understand what's really going on with those who are badly impaired by mental illness. A lot of individuals with mental illnesses don't have anything that's visibly wrong with them, so when they don't function at a level that's similar to the level that most others function at (or the level that they used to be able to function at), those observing the mentally ill individuals oftentimes conclude that those who are mentally ill just aren't trying hard enough and that the reason why they're not doing the things that they once did is because they've given up. As someone who's experienced significant impairment from a mental illness and still does to some extent, I think that individuals who jump to such conclusions are terribly misguided, but then again, one of the reasons why I think that individuals with mental illness have difficulty functioning because of the impairment caused by their illness and not because they're just not trying hard enough is because I've been there and still am "there" to an extent.
So, how can we convince more people that the reasons why we're not functioning the way we used to have nothing to do with not trying hard enough and/or having given up? I think that the answer rests with finding proper treatment so that we can thrive once again and prove those with the misguided ideas wrong. Unfortunately, doing the first part of what I wrote (finding proper treatment) can be so difficult for some of us. The treatments that we have available to us don't seem to have the best success rates and may even make our physical and mental health worse -- and I know that for you, they seemingly have. When the treatments that we try don't work, those who say that our problems are due to us not putting forth enough effort or failing to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" will see the fact that we didn't respond to treatment as a confirmation that they were right all along. But that's one reason why we have to keep trying. In my opinion, we'll have our best chances at proving those whose ideas I think are misguided wrong if we find the right treatments and then go on to truly recover from our illnesses.
Now, I know that not everybody with severe mental illness symptoms will necessarily go on to recover, and I also think that education can help others understand what we're going through better, but I still think that the best thing that we can do to show that we are indeed doing the best that we can do is to find proper treatment and then get on with doing what we really want to do with our lives. Is this attainable for all? Probably not. But I think that if more of us will recover and share with others the difference that proper treatment can make, we'll be in a better position to change attitudes.
Tomatheus
Posted by Phillipa on March 2, 2014, at 17:22:58
In reply to Re: Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by Tomatheus on March 2, 2014, at 15:59:32
TV doesn't help either with their happy pills. I've seen people in real life coin them as happy pills if they work for them. Phillipa
Posted by poser938 on March 3, 2014, at 12:51:29
In reply to Re: Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by Tomatheus on March 2, 2014, at 15:59:32
> So, how can we convince more people that the reasons why we're not functioning the way we used to have nothing to do with not trying hard enough and/or having given up? I think that the answer rests with finding proper treatment so that we can thrive once again and prove those with the misguided ideas wrong. Unfortunately, doing the first part of what I wrote (finding proper treatment) can be so difficult for some of us. The treatments that we have available to us don't seem to have the best success rates and may even make our physical and mental health worse -- and I know that for you, they seemingly have. When the treatments that we try don't work, those who say that our problems are due to us not putting forth enough effort or failing to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" will see the fact that we didn't respond to treatment as a confirmation that they were right all along. But that's one reason why we have to keep trying. In my opinion, we'll have our best chances at proving those whose ideas I think are misguided wrong if we find the right treatments and then go on to truly recover from our illnesses.
>My thoughts exactly. I cannot wait to become a functional, independent person again and prove everyone wrong. I've told my mom, I don't actually expect them ton"get it" until either I get better from this, or when I'm dead. Until then i expect they're going to continue to live in denial.
But I can't help but think that part of the problem is, that if they were to take my mental health situation seriously, then they would feel morally forced to "put their money where their mouth is". I am 26 and still have to live with my parents because of this disabling illness. But I feel they don't want to actually have to put themselves under the mental stress of taking me seriously.I cannot wait to prove them wrong about all this.
Posted by Chris O on March 6, 2014, at 4:02:20
In reply to Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by poser938 on March 2, 2014, at 13:10:43
Wow, that really makes me angry, those things your dad and other family members are saying. How very Calvinist or stereotypically East Asian (Confucianist) or just a-holish. Because, as everyone knows, when you are struggling with a horrifyingly crippling disease that seems invisible to most people around you (even though this disease is humiliating you to the core and those very people who don't see it are the people you most need support from), of course you're "spoiled." I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't want to be pampered by crippling anxiety and depression? It's a regular spa experience 24/7. And, if you're not "spoiled," well then, surely you're "not trying hard enough." Ah, yes, the old conservative tome found in every culture worldwide. Everything is will and if you don't have the will to overcome every challenge with grace and a stiff upper lip you're a loser. How many times have I heard that before from those around me? And you are getting a raw deal, as are all of us who have to suffer with this disease that is so crippling yet so unnoticed or treated as so blase by most of the people around us (including, I'm sorry to say, the mental health industrial complex, though I do think many of the therapists and psychiatrists I have seen are trying their best). I don't have any answers; only empathy and a similar sense of hopelessness about living out a future in which I am so humiliated about not being able to take care of myself and feeling so untreatably needy. Hang in there, Michael.
Chris
Posted by LostBoyinNC45 on March 12, 2014, at 21:10:48
In reply to Severe Mental Illness is treated like a joke, posted by poser938 on March 2, 2014, at 13:10:43
Ive been thru everything you describe years ago and it made me extremely angry. I even went into the legal profession BECAUSE OF my personal experiences. I thought it was all ridiculous.
Then I gradually figured it out. The reason why severe mental illness is treated like a joke is due to the simple fact that few sufferers of severe mental illness vote. Period. We are invisible to the people in political power, the people who control the financial purse strings for government funded science research.
Compare the way the AIDS/HIV/homosexual movement raised hell in the late eighties thru the nineties to develop acceptance, better understanding and aggressive scientific research into HIV/AIDS. The result? Modern science mobilized in a warlike assault on that illness, which is very complicated like all viral illnesses and now, its (supposedly from what I read) a survivable illness.
If the severe mental illness community would mobilize and demand better drugs, better science research, the same results could be achieved with severe mental illness in a relatively short period of time...probably fifteen years to two decades.
The HIV/AIDS/homosexual "lobby" all vote aggressively. They learned that early on. The severely mentally ill "lobby" do not vote aggressively. Maybe some of the parents of severely mentally ill vote aggressively...the NAMI members and all. But the actual sufferers of severe mental illness DO NOT vote aggressively. Hence they are politically invisible.
Eric AKA "LostBoyinNC"
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.