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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 15:30:02
today.....i've got so mad because of simple things i screw up on....my body is a piece of crap....doesnt work, dizziness, donesnt absorb meds when taken orally....you don't understand how much I curse my body....one problem after another, then dizziness and disorientation when i get buring mad....its like this piece of crap was like this since day 1. No one knows and help either...fix one thing, then something counteracts the solution and then causes more problems. Goodness....i just want to get my head or my whole body and beat the living hell out of it, hit it as hard as I can. I fall apart under stress, when everyone else is progressing....litterly its like mymind falls apart, since of cordination, speech, strength, its like total collapse under extreme situations.
I don't know....all i know is hate every thing in my body...fails all the time.
Posted by gadchik on January 1, 2013, at 16:27:05
In reply to self hate, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 15:30:02
Not to diminish your situation, I know it sucks...but think how it sucks to be a middle aged woman,held hostage in hormonal hell,slogging toward menopause? Yes, dizziness,headaches,unspeakable bleeding,at inopportune times,weird moods,anxiety-all hinging on what level estrogen/progesterone happens to be at this day...when I get down, I remember, I have vision,hearing,2 legs to get from point a to point b,a beating heart. I know,it sounds all be grateful,etc. Just trying to let you know Im there in the trenches with you.
Posted by Phil on January 1, 2013, at 16:37:03
In reply to Re: self hate » rjlockhart37, posted by gadchik on January 1, 2013, at 16:27:05
It's very difficult and when you read about our conditions you always read, but these are highly treatable disease. BS. I've had that feeling that I wanted to run head first into a brick wall. Stress is a major enemy. It's hurt me in all areas of life.
Like you say, you get the next whiz bang drug and along with it a whole new set of problems.
Have I ever told the story, when starting out on tricyclics, that I had (great band name) myoclonic jerks?
I reached out to shake a clients had and my arm flew(fast) to the side and I totally cleared her desk. How can one explain this stuff?
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2013, at 16:43:01
In reply to Re: self hate, posted by Phil on January 1, 2013, at 16:37:03
> Have I ever told the story, when starting out on tricyclics, that I had (great band name) myoclonic jerks?
Was it imipramine or clomipramine?
Just curious.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on January 1, 2013, at 17:08:09
In reply to self hate, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 15:30:02
RJ can you smell & taste? Are you full of osteo arthritis? Osteoporosis? Getting old. I know you feel horrible. I'm so sorry I wish I could help. Phillipa
Posted by SLS on January 1, 2013, at 18:03:32
In reply to self hate, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 15:30:02
> today.....i've got so mad because of simple things i screw up on....my body is a piece of crap....doesnt work, dizziness, donesnt absorb meds when taken orally....you don't understand how much I curse my body....one problem after another, then dizziness and disorientation when i get buring mad....its like this piece of crap was like this since day 1. No one knows and help either...fix one thing, then something counteracts the solution and then causes more problems. Goodness....i just want to get my head or my whole body and beat the living hell out of it, hit it as hard as I can. I fall apart under stress, when everyone else is progressing....litterly its like mymind falls apart, since of cordination, speech, strength, its like total collapse under extreme situations.
>
> I don't know....all i know is hate every thing in my body...fails all the time.
You are very intelligent, but relatively uneducated (like me). Don't try to be your own biologist. This absorption thing of yours seems misguided to me. Unless you can provide a medical basis for this idea of yours, I would give it up and stop ruminating over it. It only diverts your energies from moving forward and serves to demoralize you and fuel feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
- Scott
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 18:49:08
In reply to Re: self hate » rjlockhart37, posted by gadchik on January 1, 2013, at 16:27:05
well thanks for posting....i feel like someone understands now....lol....write down everything that is going on, and then scratch each thing off....tell the doctor, to help you not be irrtible. Nuerontin, or Xanax XR would be good for this.
thanks for posting....
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 18:52:29
In reply to Re: self hate, posted by Phil on January 1, 2013, at 16:37:03
yea phil.....arm jerks...whew....but at least you know how to not let it happen again....what would really be good is if the body created resistance to side effects....and just played smoothly lol
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 18:56:40
In reply to Re: self hate » rjlockhart37, posted by Phillipa on January 1, 2013, at 17:08:09
no i don't have any bone conditions....yes i can smell and taste...if don't smoke alot. I realized if Im stressed and smoke, i can't taste food vary well...its vary bland taste even with rich flavor food. Yes....i know its getting old...old things happen and then new things happen...its just life. Get one problem fixed, then another comes out. Not suprising, and not disappointed if everything didnt go along as planned. It's called sh*tty reality.
It's ok....i don't post these posts for help just to vent....thanks anyways...:)
r
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 19:01:26
In reply to Re: self hate - The power of ideas. » rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on January 1, 2013, at 18:03:32
hello scott...
i can be intelligent sometimes and incredibly stupid other times....i'm not my own biologist i just know there's something not working right, and its not hypocondriaisn, its simply know theres a problem but don't know the source of it. And people say everythings is normal...every danmed doctor tells me to stop worrying and then all this sh*t happens and effects my daily life. How can not think about it, ignore it and let it get worse....mmmhmmm
but i do know that planning for the future is good...and i do it...maybe not active right now, but until i can get on my feet, over come this thing that prevents me from doing simple tasks, and all the other problems i've listed, if i go out right now and ignore it will become a bigger problem.
thanks for the post
r
Posted by SLS on January 2, 2013, at 0:28:58
In reply to Re: self hate - The power of ideas. » SLS, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 19:01:26
> hello scott...
>
> i can be intelligent sometimes and incredibly stupid other times....Me, too. I haven't found a drug that can prevent this, though.
:-)
> i just know there's something not working right
Absolutely true.
> and its not hypocondriaisn,
I agree.
> its simply know theres a problem but don't know the source of it.
Well, just slow down and know that it might be an arduous process to find a competent doctor and go through a series of drug trials before you find an effective treatment. You are young, though. It is worth the investment in time to do this thing the right way.
> And people say everythings is normal
Who says this?
> ...every danmed doctor tells me to stop worrying
I think your coming up with your own biological theories, including your the idea that there is a problem with drug absorption, causes doctors to believe that you ruminate over problems that don't really exist.
> and then all this sh*t happens and effects my daily life. How can not think about it, ignore it and let it get worse....mmmhmmm
It is normal to be extremely focused on finding an answer to your illness. Others might mistake this for obsession. And so what if it is an obsession? You can't help but to want to feel better and move forward in life. If no one else is helping you, then you need to find ways to help yourself, right? However, at this point, I would look for an expert in ADHD and mood illness.
I don't know what's getting in your way. However, I am 99% sure that someone does.
- Scott
Posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2013, at 10:51:40
In reply to Re: self hate, posted by Phil on January 1, 2013, at 16:37:03
> Have I ever told the story, when starting out on tricyclics, that I had (great band name) myoclonic jerks?That is a great band name. I recall that they hyper-reflexia I had with Nardil used to provide minutes of entertainment, but myoclonic jerks would be much harder to cope with.
gg
Posted by Phil on January 2, 2013, at 11:41:20
In reply to Re: self hate » Phil, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2013, at 10:51:40
I was still very new to meds but even if I wasn't that caught me off guard. Can you imagine being in sales and starting on meds?
By the way, I got the deal and it was huge. I was a rookie and probably under bid the heck out of it. I should have had a veteran there to help.
Posted by brynb on January 2, 2013, at 11:54:09
In reply to self hate, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 1, 2013, at 15:30:02
Hi rj,
I can't add anything new that people haven't already said; I resonate with most of the responses to your thread. I know this sounds like a joke (trust me, this is coming from someone whose boss told her to "put some lipstick on" in order to feel better during a depressive episode) but try as hard as possible to stay positive. Create your own (good) reality. I've been having a really tough time lately, too, almost couldn't get out of bed today (again) but I managed to do it.
It's okay to feel angry at yourself, but don't get stuck in it; let it pass. Chin-up =).
-b
Posted by Phil on January 2, 2013, at 11:54:25
In reply to Re: self hate » Phil, posted by gardenergirl on January 2, 2013, at 10:51:40
gg the drug that did it was Vivactil. I got off of it immediately. If I could time it I may have been one heck of a tennis player.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 2, 2013, at 14:01:39
In reply to Re: self hate - The power of ideas. » rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on January 2, 2013, at 0:28:58
thanks....
r
This is the end of the thread.
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