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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 11:24:36
If meds do anything, they make my mood worse. ECT has been able to get me out of a few times when the meds have really screwed me up.
I am so hopeless. I've been much more depressed, but my thoughts are more about "would I ever dare do it". I've lived 25 years with it.
I am a little worse on my last trial and should do a few ECTs (they worked with 5-6). But I am so freaked out about the anesthesia, the whole process and the memory loss. I don't care about giving me a seizure. It is kind-of like a re-boot.
I know Transcranial Magnetic Therapy doesn't have a good success rate.
Thoughts? Desperate. Any success on TMS?
I know this board is mostly anti-ECT. But it brought me out of a black hole. But I am so freaked out/scared. I keedp thinking about lying on the table with the oxygen mask & the anesthesia going in me. I think the first few times I did it I wasn't as nervous because I was so bad. But now it is my only option to not continue living this way. I wish I could take a bunch of xanax before.
Posted by Bob on May 29, 2011, at 13:28:50
In reply to No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS?, posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 11:24:36
> If meds do anything, they make my mood worse. ECT has been able to get me out of a few times when the meds have really screwed me up.
> I am so hopeless. I've been much more depressed, but my thoughts are more about "would I ever dare do it". I've lived 25 years with it.
> I am a little worse on my last trial and should do a few ECTs (they worked with 5-6). But I am so freaked out about the anesthesia, the whole process and the memory loss. I don't care about giving me a seizure. It is kind-of like a re-boot.
> I know Transcranial Magnetic Therapy doesn't have a good success rate.
> Thoughts? Desperate. Any success on TMS?
> I know this board is mostly anti-ECT. But it brought me out of a black hole. But I am so freaked out/scared. I keedp thinking about lying on the table with the oxygen mask & the anesthesia going in me. I think the first few times I did it I wasn't as nervous because I was so bad. But now it is my only option to not continue living this way. I wish I could take a bunch of xanax before.
True, there are many here who have had less than ideal experiences with ECT, but I don't think anyone here would refute your qualified success.I had 21 treatments of ECT a few years back, and it is indeed a daunting process. For me unfortunately, it also began to engender pathological anxiety as the treatments accumulated. It can be a scary treatment, and it can also actually exacerbate that scariness in some.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 29, 2011, at 13:33:20
In reply to No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS?, posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 11:24:36
Aren't you given something before the proceedure? Xanax contraindicationed?
rTMS success varies. It could work for you.
Something about your post strikes me as traumatic. Maybe the mask and oxygen are only the triggers.
I'm sorry you seem to be so worm down. I wish for you some good, helpful counsel.
Please keep an open mind to rTMS. It's not that I would say I'm anti-etc. There's something in your note that tells me it frightens you.
Please don't ever hesitate to bring up a treatment. This collective of people have been through too much to cast a judgment. I think the vast majority of folks want the very best for you.
fb
Posted by Phillipa on May 29, 2011, at 13:49:10
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » alchemy, posted by floatingbridge on May 29, 2011, at 13:33:20
Used to be anesthesia first then given witnessed it once tiny seizure. Phillipa
Posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 18:25:17
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » alchemy, posted by floatingbridge on May 29, 2011, at 13:33:20
> Aren't you given something before the proceedure? Xanax contraindicationed?
I haven't found anything on the net today about it. I am going to ask my Dr. on Tuesday. That would help a lot and maybe be able to sleep the night before.
> rTMS success varies. It could work for you.
It sucks that my insurance won't cover it. I would pay anything if it worked though.
> Something about your post strikes me as traumatic. Maybe the mask and oxygen are only the triggers.Actually, I think the oxygen mask is part of my fear. I don't know why. Our bodies breath when we sleep. If all of the sudden they were in my house offering ect the fear would be short-lived.
I remember going through the routine before. The staff knew me & wondered why someone who appears so "normal" was there. I kinda joked with the anesthesiologist. I'm sure I was nervous, but I don't think it was this bad.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 29, 2011, at 19:13:28
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » floatingbridge, posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 18:25:17
Are you scheduled yet?
Posted by emmanuel98 on May 29, 2011, at 21:26:10
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » floatingbridge, posted by alchemy on May 29, 2011, at 18:25:17
Recently had 8 bilateral treatments and had to give up my lorazapem for the duration since it interferes with seizures. So xanax would almost certainly be out.
Posted by Phillipa on May 29, 2011, at 21:32:18
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS?, posted by emmanuel98 on May 29, 2011, at 21:26:10
You had to withdraw? Understand the reasoning you want to induce a seizure and benzos are anti seizure. Phillipa
Posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 10:55:31
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS?, posted by floatingbridge on May 29, 2011, at 19:13:28
> Are you scheduled yet?
I am on the schedule in case I choose to. But now I think I will opt out. I looked back at my mood log with the treatments. For the initial treatments, it brought me out of the black. A week or two later I was back in my never-endin gray. I didn't realize I did try maintenance, but it was unsucessful. I don't think I am in the black mood that makes it worth it (with the anxiety, memory, etc.)
Hopeless.
Posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 11:09:00
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS?, posted by emmanuel98 on May 29, 2011, at 21:26:10
> Recently had 8 bilateral treatments and had to give up my lorazapem for the duration since it interferes with seizures. So xanax would almost certainly be out.
That's good to know about the xanax. I just starting increasing it to help get through the day. I feel guilty about it but I am constantly thinking about daring to end it and that causes anxiety. I am not religious anymore but I am scared of course. I have never tried. I have been much worse, so I think part of it is just feeling so hopeless.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 11:17:48
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » floatingbridge, posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 10:55:31
Alchemy, how great that you have that book.
Would you please write out your med history, if you don't mind? There might be more options than you imagine. It may only take one. And remeber, there are folks pushing rTMS into insurance. Maybe you can decently patch yourself through till then.
What is absolutely out? Why?
What worked, even if too well?
Maybe some babblers can brainstorm. You have your book. And your instincts.
fb
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 11:28:06
In reply to Re: No more med trials. ECT worked but scares me TMS? » emmanuel98, posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 11:09:00
Emmanuel, Xanax is comforting. You seem strongly and discipled usually. Be kind.
If the xanax will interfere, you are setting your self up for discontinuation. Can a doc switch you to something like Valium, just so you have some comfort.
That could be pushing you in the wrong direction, a benzo with a longer half life. I don't know how that works with ect. Does anyone else have ideas?
Can you talk to your doctor? Be so kind right now.
When do you go to hospital?
fb
Posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 18:18:02
In reply to new approaches... » alchemy, posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 11:17:48
What I'm on:
Celexa- Does't necessarily make me worse. I do some cycling with or without SSRIs. Currently on 20mg Celexa
Wellbutrin - Same as SSRIs; doesn't make me worse, but I'm not sure if it helps. Currently 300mg.
Lamictal - caused agitation at first. I'm not sure if it helps. Currently 400mg.
Xanax - at least that helps. Currently 2mg long-acting.
Synthroid - not sure. But I recently tried the T3 + T4 stuff and it made me worse.Bad mood effects:
Pristiq
Provigil - I think
Geodon - needed ECT
Abilify
Saphris
Depakote
Lithium
Emsam
Tegretol
TopamaxHave tried:
One of the old school meds that starts with a D
Seroquel
Zyprexa
Cymbalta
EffexorThat's all that I can think of right now.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 30, 2011, at 18:35:55
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 18:18:02
I should have asked:
Your worse symptoms and working dx.
You mentioned a pleasant demeanor so that nurses were surprised. Sometime you compensate and don't look or act ill?
Thinking, and hoping for outside opinions.
fbNo maoi's? Oh yes, emsam. What was negative about that?
Posted by Phillipa on May 30, 2011, at 20:30:52
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 18:18:02
How bout lexapro with the xanax? And seriously the short acting greenstone brand of xanax is the real deal at generic cost. Phillipa. You will make it did it before will do it now!!!! Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on May 31, 2011, at 12:52:40
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by alchemy on May 30, 2011, at 18:18:02
Alchemy, how is the day going today? I wanted to check in with you.
I think pretty slowly, but am still considering your list. It is a considerable list, but there are gaps, so there is room to work.
Hanging in there myself,
fb
> What I'm on:
> Celexa- Does't necessarily make me worse. I do some cycling with or without SSRIs. Currently on 20mg Celexa
> Wellbutrin - Same as SSRIs; doesn't make me worse, but I'm not sure if it helps. Currently 300mg.
> Lamictal - caused agitation at first. I'm not sure if it helps. Currently 400mg.
> Xanax - at least that helps. Currently 2mg long-acting.
> Synthroid - not sure. But I recently tried the T3 + T4 stuff and it made me worse.
>
> Bad mood effects:
> Pristiq
> Provigil - I think
> Geodon - needed ECT
> Abilify
> Saphris
> Depakote
> Lithium
> Emsam
> Tegretol
> Topamax
>
> Have tried:
> One of the old school meds that starts with a D
> Seroquel
> Zyprexa
> Cymbalta
> Effexor
>
> That's all that I can think of right now.
>
>
>
>
Posted by floatingbridge on May 31, 2011, at 12:56:49
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by floatingbridge on May 31, 2011, at 12:52:40
And to the point of becoming a pest, emsam is in the negative category.
Is that why no other maoi's were tried?
fb
Glad the xanax helps. It's probably tanked me and saved me both. You have horrible anxiety?
Posted by alchemy on May 31, 2011, at 19:40:59
In reply to Re: new approaches... » floatingbridge, posted by floatingbridge on May 31, 2011, at 12:56:49
> And to the point of becoming a pest, emsam is in the negative category.
> Is that why no other maoi's were tried?Yes
> Glad the xanax helps. It's probably tanked me and saved me both. You have horrible anxiety?
I went through a phase of horrible anxiety after getting off Emsam. It is not much of a problem now. I have been taking some short acting lately because I am in survival mode- the closest I've ever come to thinking about seriously ending it. More serious earlier today & then thank god my dr. helped me get in to a dr. who does TMS. My apt. is next week.
I am still hating getting through the day/hour. My last hope, TMS.
I seriously appreciate your concern and checking in with me. Everything is hard, but I was able to get onto psychobabble, "hoping for hope".
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2011, at 21:32:37
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by alchemy on May 31, 2011, at 19:40:59
Hey that's great make sure you let us know how it goes. Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on June 1, 2011, at 1:42:13
In reply to Re: new approaches..., posted by alchemy on May 31, 2011, at 19:40:59
Alchemy, that's good news. Is TMS the same as rTMS?
A research doctor was very optimistic about it. I hope your experience is really excellent--at least what you are hoping for and what you need.
Please post to us when you can about your experience when you feel like it.
And while your waiting for your appt, if you post here to help the time go by or whatever, I'll look for your posts.
Posted by alchemy on June 2, 2011, at 17:32:16
In reply to Re: new approaches... » alchemy, posted by floatingbridge on June 1, 2011, at 1:42:13
Yes, it is rTMS
That's great to hear that a dr was optimistic about it.
I start next Tuesday so I will post my experiences. I would still be obsessed with death without hope. Although I am still anxious about it.
Why does time go by so slow? I'm not talking about the anticipation of the rTMS, just with in general. I worry about how to pass the day. My mom did me a favor & watched Pirates at the theatre yesterday. It was half-way distracting, but it also caused anxiety about death.
Posted by floatingbridge on June 2, 2011, at 18:53:53
In reply to Re: new approaches... » floatingbridge, posted by alchemy on June 2, 2011, at 17:32:16
> Yes, it is rTMS
>
> That's great to hear that a dr was optimistic about it.Yes, he outlined the ways it worked which sounded far and away a real working solution for some people.
>
> I start next Tuesday so I will post my experiences. I would still be obsessed with death without hope. Although I am still anxious about it.
>
> Why does time go by so slow? I'm not talking about the anticipation of the rTMS, just with in general. I worry about
how to pass the day. My mom did me a favor & watched Pirates at the theatre yesterday. It was half-way distracting, but it also caused anxiety about death.I'm sorry. And good of you to get youtself out. I completely understand my own experience of this. I found
media of any type intolerable for a long
time.The good news is you could really improve. I would really like that.
Do you have anxiety about the procedure? If so, can you talk frankly to your doctor if necessary?
Tuesday. You can get there.
I'm so glad to hear this!
fb
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