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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NKP on April 9, 2011, at 16:16:32
At a deeper level I have always felt sad even as a small child. I often have a feeling of impending tragedy, a fear that my loved ones are going to die or that some other ill fate will become them.
When I was sixteen years old my doctor said I had depression and he put me on citalopram. In the thirteen years since I have been on various antidepressants on and off. Some of them helped me function better. I have also been for therapy which helped.
I cry easily and often have thoughts about killing myself, although I don't think I have it in me to attempt suicide. Sometimes however when I get very upset I just lose it for maybe a half hour. When I am in this state I do things like kick furniture, pound my fists on walls and desks, scream into pillows, slam doors, etc. So far I have not turned violent on another person though. I worry that some day I might be capable of doing something stupid during a moment of impulsiveness when I am in that state.
I have a problem whereby I bite my fingers when I feel under stress. It has gotten really bad. My fingers are covered with calluses and last year my one finger became infected and the doctor warned me that I might end up with needing a finger amputated if I continued to bite myself.
Lately I feel extremely irritable and I have had many arguments with people around me over silly things. I sometimes worry that I might one day become physically violent if I am pushed far enough.
I went to my doctor the other day and he said I should go back on medication. He put me on Zoloft and low dose Fluanxol because historically that was the regimen that worked best for me.
I've only been on the Zoloft and Fluanxol for a few days now but I already feel a bit better. It also feels like my mind is less noisy. I feel much less irritable and more calm.
Of course, somebody could take cocaine and say they feel better when they take cocaine, but that doesn't mean they should be taking cocaine.
Now I feel wrong for using medication again. One of my friends (who incidentally has bipolar disorder and uses lithium) says he doesn't think I am depressed and that I am merely going through a rough patch and he thinks I don't need to be on medication.
I am also very scared I might get bad side effects from the Fluanxol, like tardive dyskinesia, balding, or growing breasts.
I know I am not "not depressed", yet I'm not sure if I'm clinically depressed either. Something is amiss with my behaviour though, for example the biting of my fingers, the rage, and the thoughts about dying.
I would appreciate your thoughts.
Posted by mellow on April 9, 2011, at 17:05:48
In reply to How do you know when to use medication?, posted by NKP on April 9, 2011, at 16:16:32
If you aren't seeing a psychiatrist yet I would get a full evaluation. This should be at least a 45-60 minute appointment. Dont try and work these issues through a general practiciner or your family doctor. You could very well fall somewhere on the bipolar spectrum. SSRI type meds like zoloft could make you better momentarily but worsen the course of your disease in the long term. The irratabity and rage is what makes me think bipolar mood swings. When I'm depressed I don't have the energy to argue...when manic I can't keep my mouth shut.
Check out www.psycheducation.org
Take the Harvard questionnaire and see what you think. Good luck.
Mellow
Posted by MatthewDavid on April 9, 2011, at 17:19:54
In reply to Re: How do you know when to use medication?, posted by mellow on April 9, 2011, at 17:05:48
Mellow is right, not only the first step but very important! There are many levels of depression and you can't rely on the advise your friend provided you. Not all med's have terrible side effects. some people feel better with just a simple benzo or lithium as a mood stabilizer. Please ask any more questions you might have and god bless
Posted by Christ_empowered on April 9, 2011, at 17:32:15
In reply to How do you know when to use medication?, posted by NKP on April 9, 2011, at 16:16:32
Listen, you don't answer to your friend. My therapist says that meds help contain emotions, to make them more manageable. You may only need meds when you're particularly stressed out, or you may find that a low-dose maintenance dose of 1 or 2 meds keeps you going.
I've done both extremes--too many meds (there must be a pill for this problem!) and no meds at all (Mental illness is a myth!). My diagnosis is Bipolar type I w/ Psychotic features. Personally, I also take an antipsychotic (for me a relatively high dose of Abilify) plus an SSRI. Works great, I plan on taking it forever and ever, but that's me...
I don't think you should let guilt over using meds keep you from benefiting from them. If it takes a low dose antipsychotic and some zoloft to get you through a rough patch without going nuts, what's the big deal?
Posted by Zyprexa on April 10, 2011, at 6:07:22
In reply to How do you know when to use medication?, posted by NKP on April 9, 2011, at 16:16:32
I would take the drugs. Its better than creating damage. I too did things that were mildly destructive and I would get angry when I didn't take the zyprexa.
Posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2011, at 11:07:12
In reply to Re: How do you know when to use medication?, posted by Zyprexa on April 10, 2011, at 6:07:22
Remember we are all different. The finger biting reminds me of some sort of OCD anxiety response as bite cuticles and pick them the more stressed I am. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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