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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on December 16, 2010, at 20:57:07
At this point, I don't know if I am going to make it through the Christmas season. I am already getting more depressed. My meds are not working very to begin with. But during the holiday season I wish I could add another med that would just get me through the season without wanting to cry all the time. It has been ten years since my dad passed away and still miss him so much especially at Christmas. Plus then there all the day to day family stuff to deal with. My mum's Alzheimers is getting worse and I am finding it harder to look after her.
Any, I wish someone would develop an "Christmas" injection that people like me can take this time of year.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 17, 2010, at 7:21:41
In reply to I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail, posted by Maxime on December 16, 2010, at 20:57:07
> At this point, I don't know if I am going to make it through the Christmas season. I am already getting more depressed. My meds are not working very to begin with. But during the holiday season I wish I could add another med that would just get me through the season without wanting to cry all the time. It has been ten years since my dad passed away and still miss him so much especially at Christmas. Plus then there all the day to day family stuff to deal with. My mum's Alzheimers is getting worse and I am finding it harder to look after her.
>
> Any, I wish someone would develop an "Christmas" injection that people like me can take this time of year.
Me, too, Maxime. I am more functional this year than in recent years past, but became really frightened that everything was going to collapse as it's done before.
Can you try to frame how you're doing right now in terms of where you've been before and see a improvement?I miss my Dad at this time of year too, and it's been a long, long time since he's been gone. Many years. At this point I don't know if I'm sugar coating my memories or not :-(
Thinking of you,
pc
Posted by emmanuel98 on December 17, 2010, at 19:11:57
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » Maxime, posted by PartlyCloudy on December 17, 2010, at 7:21:41
I get really down about Christmas, even though I have a husband and daugter who always comes home for Christmas. My daughter used to get excited about it when she was little, but now she and my husband (who never really celebrated Christmas as a child) could care less. I asked them if they could please be sensitive to me and try to do things for the day jsut so I don't get bummed out. They promised they would. I wish things were open. I would love to go to a museum or something. I hate everything being closed and having nothing to do and nobody to see. For most people, I think, Christmas s**ks.
You can make it through, Maxime. It's just one day. Then it's over and back to normal. That's what I try to tell myself.
Posted by Maxime on December 17, 2010, at 20:04:19
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » Maxime, posted by PartlyCloudy on December 17, 2010, at 7:21:41
Thank you PC. This is probably the worse I have been at Christmas. Mainly because I wasn't doing very well to begin with. I feel like I am going to have a break down. I really don't want that to happen. I DO NOT want to end up in the hospital.
I feel like I am going to snap which is a scary feeling. I know A LOT of people feel this way this time of year, so I know I am not alone. And yet I am alone.
Today was my last day of work until January. I am scared that I am going to stay in bed a lot. That's not very productive. Although I am tired of being productive.
Just really, really, really depressed and tired.
Posted by Maxime on December 17, 2010, at 20:15:03
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail, posted by emmanuel98 on December 17, 2010, at 19:11:57
Oh, wouldn't it be great if museums and such were open? I know a lot of people who go to the movies on Christmas day. I guess that is one way to escape it. Maybe you could rent some of your favourite DVDs and watch them. Or have your daughter pick one, and your husband pick one, and you pick a couple. Nothing depressing.
You and your husband could go for a long walk together.
I am sorry that Christmas is hard for you as well. Yes, it's only one day. But then I have to deal with my birthday at the end of month and people are too busy to do anything with me. And then of course there is the deaded New Year's Eve. A another reminder that I am indeed alone. I have no one to spend the special night with. It hurts. All my friends do "couples" stuff on New Year's Eve so I don't get to see them. Crap. I am getting more depressed as I write this. I am going to stop now.
Take care E.
Posted by emmanuel98 on December 17, 2010, at 23:36:28
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » emmanuel98, posted by Maxime on December 17, 2010, at 20:15:03
We often go to a movie and then to Chinese food on Christmas. Which is fine. New Years is hard too. I never had friends until recently (when I started therapy and 12-step groups). Is there a 12-step group alcothon you can go to? (check it out on your local AA website). Also, Boston has a big parade and downtown festivities on NY eve. My husband and I sometimes go to that, though it's crowded. Is there anything like that you could go to? Just to get out of the house for a few hours. Again, it's just a day or night. No more difficult to get through than any other day or night. These holidays end. That;s what I keep telling myself.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 18, 2010, at 8:38:19
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » PartlyCloudy, posted by Maxime on December 17, 2010, at 20:04:19
> Thank you PC. This is probably the worse I have been at Christmas. Mainly because I wasn't doing very well to begin with. I feel like I am going to have a break down. I really don't want that to happen. I DO NOT want to end up in the hospital.
>
> I feel like I am going to snap which is a scary feeling. I know A LOT of people feel this way this time of year, so I know I am not alone. And yet I am alone.
>
> Today was my last day of work until January. I am scared that I am going to stay in bed a lot. That's not very productive. Although I am tired of being productive.
>
> Just really, really, really depressed and tired.Last year was bad for me. I felt really trapped in my own home (guests behaving badly!) and so tried going out for a drive. Of course, I couldn't even find a cup of coffee on Christmas day - absolutely everywhere was closed.
I so understand that feeling of being trapped.
The best analogy I can come up with is my recovery from alcoholism; that "one day at a time" adage, which sounds SO trite when we are in our depths of misery. It worked for me to break that down into manageable increments. One day became an hour at a time, and how I could distract myself from myself, if that makes any sense. I kept breaking the time down until it got to where I got through an entire day.
Enjoyable? Not. But I made it through a very difficult time my contorting my days in this way. I'm not suggesting that my past drinking issues resemble the pain you're going through now. But it struck me that part of what helped me was to come up with a "safety plan" of some kind for myself.
Whether it's checking in with an email friend or on the phone, there are ways you can get through these holidays without having to resort to your medicine cabinet and a bottle for the ultimate relief.
Let me say here that I'd be honoured to be such a person for you.
pc
Posted by ed_uk2010 on December 18, 2010, at 9:13:48
In reply to I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail, posted by Maxime on December 16, 2010, at 20:57:07
>Any, I wish someone would develop an "Christmas" injection that people like me can take this time of year.
Oh Maxie, I think Bailey's Irish Cream is about as close as it gets. Half way between a drink and a dessert.
Posted by Maxime on December 18, 2010, at 19:18:56
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 18, 2010, at 9:13:48
> >Any, I wish someone would develop an "Christmas" injection that people like me can take this time of year.
>
> Oh Maxie, I think Bailey's Irish Cream is about as close as it gets. Half way between a drink and a dessert.
>I think you are right. When I get paid on Thursday I am going to buy a bottle. I don't normally drink, but extreme measures need to be take here.
Posted by Maxime on December 18, 2010, at 19:45:04
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 18, 2010, at 9:13:48
Feeling so much worse today. Probably because work "volunteered" me to go to a jammed mall and wrap Christmas presents for shoppers for 6 hours straight. I know it's for a good cause but it's not healthy for me to be in that environment. I get very confused. I start to hallucinate (auditory) and my anxiety level goes through the rough.
Then when I came home I got mad at my mom and now she is going around the house slamming doors which isn't helping. I try so hard not to get mad at my mom. I am always patient with her but tonight was too much for me and I yelled at her. I never yell. Now I am crying because I yelled.
And just seeing what people were buying today for Christmas made me sick to my stomach. SO MUCH STUFF! No one needs all the stuff. No one.
I think what upsets me the most about Christmas is that the meaning as been lost. One of my favourite Christmases since my dad died was when I worked in a soup kitchen feeding the homeless and talking with them. Learning about how they became homeless. What it's like on streets etc. and what it means to them to have a hot meal on Christmas day.
Maybe I will watch my Charlie Brown DVD and it will make me feel better because right now I feel like I could beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and then beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on December 19, 2010, at 9:45:50
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » ed_uk2010, posted by Maxime on December 18, 2010, at 19:18:56
>When I get paid on Thursday I am going to buy a bottle. I don't normally drink, but extreme measures need to be take here
It's good, but if you drink a lot you will feel very bad. It's very sweet too, so you don't want a lot.
Posted by Maxime on December 19, 2010, at 22:12:20
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » Maxime, posted by ed_uk2010 on December 19, 2010, at 9:45:50
> >When I get paid on Thursday I am going to buy a bottle. I don't normally drink, but extreme measures need to be take here
>
> It's good, but if you drink a lot you will feel very bad. It's very sweet too, so you don't want a lot.
>
>No worries. I love Bailey's but I know that I would feel worse if I drank too much because it's so rich. I haven't had a drink in a very long time. I think the last time was when I bought some Bailey's last Christmas. Hmmm, there is a trend here.
Posted by Maxime on December 25, 2010, at 2:11:22
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » ed_uk2010, posted by Maxime on December 19, 2010, at 22:12:20
I is so sad. :( I went to buy some Bailey's but it was too expensive and I couldn't afford it. Don't know what I will do later on today when brother comes over with his GF.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 25, 2010, at 8:04:57
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » Maxime, posted by Maxime on December 25, 2010, at 2:11:22
> I is so sad. :( I went to buy some Bailey's but it was too expensive and I couldn't afford it. Don't know what I will do later on today when brother comes over with his GF.
They should have called it Bailey$.
I hope that today goes quickly for you - or even better, that you are able to enjoy it to some extent.
Don't forget that I have my babblemail and my email on if you want to talk.
hugs
pc
Posted by Maxime on December 26, 2010, at 22:23:53
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » Maxime, posted by PartlyCloudy on December 25, 2010, at 8:04:57
Thanks PC. The day was quite a disaster. I will leave it that for now. When I have the energy I will go into more detail. Thanks for caring.
Posted by PartlyCloudy on December 27, 2010, at 7:55:00
In reply to Re: I feel like I need an x-mas cocktail » PartlyCloudy, posted by Maxime on December 26, 2010, at 22:23:53
> Thanks PC. The day was quite a disaster. I will leave it that for now. When I have the energy I will go into more detail. Thanks for caring.
Sorry.
At least it's over, and you got through it. Some years it's a contest of wills :-(
This year I forced myself to be assertive, but it felt like I was bossy. At least I wasn't all alone in the kitchen working as a result. I can't believe I had to give grown adults instructions on how to assist in the preparation of a very simple meal. No more holiday repasts Chez PC.
pc
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