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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
Hi,
Has anyone had the experience of telling (mentioning) to a good friend (not an acquaintance) that one has depression, or whatever, and them not responding, as if you had said nothing at all, or talking about something else in some kind of disconnect? Lately I've realized that I've had a relapse of my depression. I've mentioned this to a close few people who have acted like they have not even heard me. Now, depression can be consuming and a narcissistic habit--a parasite, as I sometimes think of it. I also have SA or SP depending. So I ride a constant balance between disclosure and sharing. However, I was not expecting to be ignored by the few people I've spoken to. I wasn't ranting, weepy, nor hysterical, just conversational, like hey, I have a cold. These people know I have issues.... What am I saying here? The more cognizant I've become of my illness and attendant behaviors and patterns, the more aware I am that many people avoid the topic. Of course, this is something to take up with my shrink. I just felt compelled to write it here where, it seems, as unperfected as it may be (according to the admin board), at least I can say what I feel and be heard by somebody--even if it is one or two at any given time.
thank you for reading,
fb
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on July 7, 2009, at 23:34:22
In reply to invisible?, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
I know, similar to what your saying, not being heard.....say if your saying something, that's even relevent to that topic, people are arrogant at times, believe me, I've seen this in life.
What changed about me, I got over the top, saying something that would catch alot of people's attention, subcounsiously, yet I do understand, what an unheard feeling feels like. Alot of years, it took cognitive changing of the image, the ego, who i was, and who i am now. That was back then, people blew me off, yet the mind will start to see, understand the issue, because you have innercompassion for your soul, your mind. It's like something inside that was, there at one time, and your past that point, it's still there, the memory. It's complicated, because I just self-evolved into another person. Yet, I know what this means, because 4-6years ago, this was prevalent most of life. Feeling.....not needed/causing depression/ dripping sorrow/ it finally came to a "collapse". People can be blinded by their arrogance, when, truely in their heart, they put it down, they see what happened, it's also an issue they have, the same thing, only having a law attraction about them, looks, personality, knowing a catch thing to say and everyone sync in with it, alot of times, i've been hit bad in the past, you know who is going to push your button's, or what button's you know that are a weakness, slowdown, meditate, and come to a point where you connect with what people are in sync with. Times can be tough, the past, the memories, can keep you [anyone back] in time, and not with reality, or the social world, of "talk". Their are people who think high of themselves, as a matter of inflation, it goes really high, and then it deflates back down, below than what they see their ownself as.
Think of a catchy tune, [yet, never get it stuck in your head]. That's on the radio, or has a "direct" beat, it slowly gives your mind a personality to relate to the words/the beat/ the rythem of the music.
One thing, you cannot really rely on people, man, I know that's......sometimes [you/anyone ca feel abandoned], yet you start your "own" survival, and your own....."harmonistic, dynamic" way of dealing with people who, are not nice, rude, or they don't catch on with you. I've been there, some aspect's I still do. You build a strong image, and know your weak point's that will hit, instead of "quaratine" them, because they are going to break out, at some trigger in life.
Alot of people, dis'd me in the passed, i dissed them back, yet then....they hate me, "Well... fine, grit those teeth, because that's just going to make them bitter and rip them apart inside"
Yet, it will start gossip, and attacks, to you, even...."they started it, you ended it". I love walking around in life, and it seems like kindergarden, people just forget, even teacher gossip about student's like to pick on them. Humilate them, I had a teacher in 11th grade, could not stand, she was the Student Counsil Leader, and had people "postive" images, yet they talked trash alone. Really, just go up to them "take a look at who they are, the truth", and it set's things straight. No fake images, no loving words, then inside they have black bitterness, and don't have the awnser.
Say to someone: "If you can't do it right, don't do it all". That will piss them off, but it will put them, in awareness of where they really stand. They will hate, it.
Depression, it's not life, really when you have chemical imbalance, people don't understand why....the way, you feel. Kinda like a diffrent model car's they all function diffrent, and if there was a defiencany, it function's diffrent, sometimes it can be a gift, in the humility, you feel.
Nurturing sometimes yourself, because knowing youself inside, you will know how everything, function's, and eventaully you will see you emotional blueprint, yet you can't control it, it's just a blueprint, yet you know what direction's are going to. What caused them, what was the 1st problem in the first root of it all.
You are heard, [indirectly] through the net, cared about.
rj
Posted by Phillipa on July 7, 2009, at 23:37:29
In reply to invisible?, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
FB I've not experienced that problem probably because a good number of the people I meet and know are themselves on an ad or have anxiety. Maybe it's age???? Love Phillipa
Posted by seldomseen on July 8, 2009, at 7:19:39
In reply to invisible?, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
It's okay, you are not invisible, although people may chose to make your illness that way.
For some people, I think the entire topic of mental illness makes them uncomfortable, powerless.
I think there are well established societal responses to physical illness, thus people potentially are more comfortable in their response. We aren't quite there yet with mental illness.
In these kind of interactions, I think it is important to clearly convey what you would like the other person to do/say because they may *want* to do something to help, but have absolutely no idea what to do/say or even how to act.
When I think it is appropriate, or, especially for no apparent reason, I just burst into tears/freak out, I will reveal what symptoms I deal with on a daily basis. But I always end up giving the other person an "out" and say something like "it's a personal struggle, but I'm doing my best to deal with it". People still don't know what to say, but at least they are less uncomfortable about it.
I sometimes wonder what they think of me when I'm not around, but overall, I have much bigger things to deal with.
Seldom.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 8, 2009, at 12:32:00
In reply to Re: invisible? » floatingbridge, posted by seldomseen on July 8, 2009, at 7:19:39
I think when I posted I was more p*ssed and hurt then anything--and surprised, too. I don't really feel "invisible", but since I haven't been able to get out much lately, my world has shrunk back to a smaller size, and I had worked so ardently to extend it. I feel like the depression is invisible, and I am partly at fault because I hid any difficulty I may have had from others for years.
Seldomseen, thank you for your sensible response--And Phillipa thank you for your ongoing suppport--maybe it is an age thing, too. As I get older, I do care (and hide) less.
And thanks rj for your support and experience!
fb
Posted by Frustratedmama on July 8, 2009, at 16:25:58
In reply to invisible?, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
I totally hear you- not only my close friends but my own family ignores me when I say this...only one who listens is my child.....and my fellow babblers.....
Posted by Phillipa on July 8, 2009, at 19:25:15
In reply to Re: invisible?, posted by Frustratedmama on July 8, 2009, at 16:25:58
FM good point we're a family of sorts. Love Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on July 10, 2009, at 0:31:47
In reply to invisible?, posted by floatingbridge on July 7, 2009, at 22:34:07
Yeah my immediate family including my husband will dismiss how I feel or get mad if I act depress. i have bad days. period. But he thinks I am just being moody. I cried about that last week in therapy because I said I was tired of feeling invisible or having to hide how i really feel because telling people, irl close family, they just poop it .
so I relate.
don't know the solution. probably why I take so much xanax for my anxiety.
rsk
Posted by floatingbridge on July 10, 2009, at 1:50:24
In reply to Re: invisible? » floatingbridge, posted by rskontos on July 10, 2009, at 0:31:47
rsk I'm plain sorry. Your post brings to mind the only time I was hospitalized for depression, and what I was struck most by--not the lack of good care, not how we herded together in group therapy no matter our symptom, and not that many were way over drugged--what amazed me was visiting hour and how many p*ssed off people came to see the patients. Very few showed sympathy, empathy, tolerance. Most looked angrily and critically at the patient and seemed to resent being there.
fb
Posted by rskontos on July 13, 2009, at 21:24:24
In reply to Re: invisible? » rskontos, posted by floatingbridge on July 10, 2009, at 1:50:24
Thanks floating bridge. rsk
This is the end of the thread.
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