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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
I don't get it for ll years I've seen multiple pdocs and none can find a combo or a med that works for me. My current pdoc said wish I could give you a few good years before it's over as I'm 61. I do have the thyroid but so do others as I've read and the chronics lymes others I'm sure have that too. But with genetics since my Mother died at age 47 I have to wonder if my time is up. I have dreams of going away never to come back with my two babies one lapsapoo that I kept alive til he was l7 and a toy poodle with heart problems died at l2. I keep them in separate urns next to my bed. You know how they say we all have our time? Maybe mine is up. As my pdoc said sometimes like with cancer meds don't work. Only thing I can do is ride my bike but tireder every day. So I apologize openly for answering most threads as I'm looking for answers for myself. I've suggested a ton of meds to pdocs but nothing they say no. Phillipa
Posted by Justherself54 on September 9, 2007, at 20:11:52
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
I'm so sorry you're feeling badly..I too have been on the med merry-go-round with trying everything under the sun (it seems)..the best results I've had so far have been from Parnate..I've had to come off it as I'm having surgery on Wednesday..and am looking forward to getting back on it..
I too have thyroid issues and fibromyalgia..and for some reason parnate seems to help the fibro also..go figure..I take meds for sleep, as lack of sleep seems to be the one thing that can derail me..
Don't give up Phillipa..there has to be a med combo out there that will give you your spark back..and kudos to you for riding your bike everyday..I haven't yet been able to muster up the enthusiasm for exercise yet..thinking of changing my user name to Sloth
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 20:52:58
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by Justherself54 on September 9, 2007, at 20:11:52
Helps to know you're not alone and one neurologist said fibromyalgia too. And then add osteoporois, diverticulitis, and extreme tiredness. Sometimes just to go to sleep would be heaven. Thanks Phillipa
Posted by chiron on September 9, 2007, at 21:20:09
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by Justherself54 on September 9, 2007, at 20:11:52
Phillipa, thank you for answering threads and hanging in there with us all.
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 21:55:31
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by chiron on September 9, 2007, at 21:20:09
Chiron thank-you I know you have problems of your own but you took the time to answer means a lot. Phillipa
Posted by Brody on September 9, 2007, at 22:36:01
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It » Justherself54, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 20:52:58
> Sometimes just to go to sleep would be heaven. >
>Hi Phillipa,
I have never seen a post from you that read this way, with that sort of hopeless sound. I felt very sad when I read it.
So, do I understand correctly from your last comment that you also cannot sleep, on top of everything else? And, your p-doc doesn't offer any new suggesions, and she doesn't go along with yours?
I, too, am so impressed that you keep on riding that bike in spite of being so tired. You give me inspiration.
Wishing you better days soon.
Janet
P.S. I keep my 2 Gordon Setter urns nearby too...
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on September 9, 2007, at 23:13:00
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
> I don't get it for ll years I've seen multiple pdocs and none can find a combo or a med that works for me. My current pdoc said wish I could give you a few good years before it's over as I'm 61. I do have the thyroid but so do others as I've read and the chronics lymes others I'm sure have that too. But with genetics since my Mother died at age 47 I have to wonder if my time is up. I have dreams of going away never to come back with my two babies one lapsapoo that I kept alive til he was l7 and a toy poodle with heart problems died at l2. I keep them in separate urns next to my bed. You know how they say we all have our time? Maybe mine is up. As my pdoc said sometimes like with cancer meds don't work. Only thing I can do is ride my bike but tireder every day. So I apologize openly for answering most threads as I'm looking for answers for myself. I've suggested a ton of meds to pdocs but nothing they say no. Phillipa
>
>
>(((((Phillipa)))))) dear...please don't be so hard on yourself, and please don't think that 'your time is up'...you have lots of time, and a wonderful personality to live into a grand old age. 61 is still quite young. And, no matter what age, you *deserve* to live a life where mental illness does not intrude so much.
Well, how about you start by listing all of the meds you have tried. I know..you think "..most of them". But there are still all sorts of combinations and such that you likely haven't tried. If your doctor is closed off to new trials, can you get another one? How about even just a GP? Mine opened up a whole new world when I got stuck with a very narrow-minded psychiatrist.
Please don't be sad...I know that is easier said then done, but you ARE worth it, and none of us may never be 100 percent depression free, but no matter what age, you deserve the best. I really am bothered by our society here in N. America that is so focused on 'youth'..it's stupid. Age is what makes a precious gem, and makes one wiser to the world and life. Some young kid can't teach you that.
What you have is *precious*. So, please answer my few questions if you can...and if you want to PM me, please feel free to.Best and peace, hope, and a drop of faith to you. :-)
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 23:21:10
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by Brody on September 9, 2007, at 22:36:01
Well Brody when you are my age no time for new meds. And nursing was my identity and as of 2008 need to go back to school to continue causes haven't been able to nurse in 9 years and I would need 2 months of full time med/surg my discs in my back could not handle it and then 2 months of full time psych before parttime and 4-5 months on the computer so I lost my only worth and love to me. No since I'm on Disability and own a house can't get a break on any expensive meds couldn't afford them so they won't prescribe. And it's not my fault that the ad's don't work for me. My pdoc said they only work for 20-30%. The therapist thinks it's PTSD too and the antianxiety meds are what I need . I couldn't sleep when they took away very low dose luvox and put me on higher doses of benzos then I'd ever been on. So I have to keep with this routine for as long as I can. It's a catch 22 own something and you pay full price. Own nothing and it's free. Plus I feel the government wants us babyboomers gone as it costs starting now too much money to keep us. Phillipa sorry to sound negative but that is the way it is. I can't change the system. Some may say never stuck with an ad long enough but I did years before babble existed and even when it did. No computer when on zoloft, paxil, prozac, lexapro, celexa, effexor found when cymbalta came out. 60mg for over three months and nothing. The meds don't make me tired they rev me up so my head feels like exploding. Rather be miserable. That is excruciating. You know if it were cancer I'd have a morphine drip and it would be fine. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 23:37:17
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It » Phillipa, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on September 9, 2007, at 23:13:00
Jay babblemailed you. Love Phillipa
Posted by simcha on September 10, 2007, at 2:16:52
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
Phillipa,
I'm saddened to read that you are suffering. You don't have to look at your life as over at 61. These days most women live to their late 70's or beyond. Please hang in there. I know you are great support to many of us here.
Simcha
Posted by Meagan on September 10, 2007, at 8:06:15
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
Phillipa,
Haven't you heard that 60 is the new age 40? You have plenty of time left. You sound exhausted though, but don't give up. Bad times don't last forever.
Meagan
Posted by Abby Cunningham on September 10, 2007, at 9:23:33
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by Meagan on September 10, 2007, at 8:06:15
Jan, you know how I feel about the age too, but I am determined to stay young - and the above poster is correct - 60 is now the new 40!! Believe it!
I have a mother who is 86 and healthy, lives alone, her neighbor is 96 and lives alone. 61 is young, especially glad that you are able to ride your bike SEVEN miles a day! Many 20 year olds can't do that! So give yourself credit, my friend!
Please don't give up. There is a lot of hope and a future for you! I hope you believe it!
Love,
Abby
Posted by stargazer2 on September 10, 2007, at 9:26:43
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
Phillipa, I know how you feel but you have been out there being strong for so many here who are suffering so now it is your turn to feel the same way. It is hard to be continually positive despite spending years not finding "an answer" for your suffering especially when so many here have found things that work for them. I think that is why I have found it too difficult to respond to so many when they have found answers and I have not. I call that self preservation.
If I were you, I would not focus on the type of physical nursing you have done in the past, but on a different type of nursing where you can support others telephonically, like with case management in an insurance or health benefits position. That is if you really feel you want to work again.
You have alot of positive and motivational strengths that have served you well. But we all get to the point that you're at, except that you keep plugging away when many of us snap and withdraw from PB for awhile. How can you support others here day after day without it getiing to you.
Take a break and take time to feel depressed for awhile, knowing you, you will be back and running soon.
Stargazer
Posted by deniseuk190466 on September 10, 2007, at 15:14:47
In reply to I Don't Get It, posted by Phillipa on September 9, 2007, at 19:40:29
Phillipa,
I don't think it's your age that's making you feel like giving up, it's the fact that you've felt so bad for so long and no matter what you try and do, nothing seems to work. You can feel that way at 20, 30, 40 etc.
I admire you for getting out there and on your bike and it must seem hard, especially when exercise is supposed to help.
I'm not sure what to suggest right now, I'd say don't give up but I feel like giving up with you.
The thing is you have to try anything and everything before you severe this mortal coil. Because there has to be something out there for you.
Denise
Posted by cumulative on September 10, 2007, at 17:18:35
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by deniseuk190466 on September 10, 2007, at 15:14:47
Practically, I think you should ditch the old doctors and find new, liberal, energetic fellows who are willing and eager to try everything that wasn't already tried. Have you ever seen someone specializing in treatment-resistant conditions? Conservatism really isn't the way to go after you've worked on this so long.
Is it really true that nothing has worked for you? It seems like a lot of the time you were happy with your regimens, and that they were giving good positive effect much of the time. These bad spells in between where nothing seems bright are just part and parcel of going on.
Posted by fuzz54 on September 11, 2007, at 12:16:33
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by cumulative on September 10, 2007, at 17:18:35
Phillipa,
I've been visiting this forum for at least 5 years and read your posts from time to time and value your contributions. You don't always seem down like this, but I can't read your mind so only you know if it has always been like this. I'm only 30 years old and I get days that are just rough to get through and I don't have nearly as many other problems, so I can only imagine what you go through.
My advice is that you may very well have a long life ahead of you at 61 (as other posters have said) and there are new meds coming down the pipeline that are truly different than the current meds. They won't be here in a year or two, but maybe 5 or 10 years. I've found that a good month is worth 10 months of suffering. It's what I live for. I know that good month will come around sooner or later and I'll realize why I fight so hard once the fog lifts. Keep fighting and your month or year (or rest of your life) of being happy more than you are sad will come along. Just having emotions makes you human. But dealing with emotions like this and persevering is superhuman. You've managed to be a superwoman this long. Keep going!
fuzz
Posted by rskontos on September 12, 2007, at 18:53:13
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by fuzz54 on September 11, 2007, at 12:16:33
Phillipa, I understand where you are coming from but please we need people around here like you. I treasure your posts because of your support and kindness to all on board. I have always visited when I am at my darkest and your posts always help. I agree with the other suggestion to throw out the old and bring on the new. Find some new doctor that might have a new way to think about an old problem. There is always a solution waiting to be found, I too, must believe this. I am younger than you but most days feel about 90. I just lost my grandmother who was 91 and just a feisty woman until the day she died. So you have loads of time to feel good. I too need to find a new doctor. So if you can find one I can find one and we can support each other along the way!!!!!!!!!! RK
Posted by Phillipa on September 12, 2007, at 20:57:00
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It, posted by rskontos on September 12, 2007, at 18:53:13
Sweet post thank-you. Phillipa
Posted by Tony P on September 18, 2007, at 23:26:31
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It » rskontos, posted by Phillipa on September 12, 2007, at 20:57:00
I'm so glad I dropped in here today for the first time in months and read this thread. It speaks so much to where I am right now too. By coincidence (if there is such a thing), I was talking to my college-age daughter over coffee this very afternoon about new starts and how much there can still be ahead for me as well as her. I recommended this BB to her (Hi Susan if you're reading this!) and so I thought I should drop in myself, since it's been a while ....
I really identify, Phillipa, I am also sixty-one, have been through at least half of the AD's in the book, and have been having too many days lately when I find myself thinking that I'm past bothering with trying to find a way to function normally or feel "normal" (let alone happy, joyous and free). And I find myself without actually planning it behaving in ways that suggest that subconsciously I'm thinking of winding up my affairs or that nothing really matters after the next few months.
But on my good days I don't even want to retire yet, and I can't afford to anyway. Since the reality is I haven't been working regularly for several years now, it's more a matter of coming out of retirement for me! I've used up a lot of my supposed retirement savings fighting this (expletive deleted) disease, so the practical issues of money and how I'm to use my days productively are very much in my face at the moment.
Getting back into more of my creative work with music has helped my self-esteem a lot, although the hypo-manic swings that have accompanied the productivity have made my life even more unmanageable. But knowing that other people value my contribution is a wonderful gift to receive; I don't make a very successful hermit!
As others have said, Phillipa, I have really appreciated and valued your posts, both generally and personally, so I know you have much to offer all of us -- of all ages.
{{{{Hugs}}}},
Tony
Posted by Phillipa on September 18, 2007, at 23:48:10
In reply to Re: I Don't Get It » Phillipa, posted by Tony P on September 18, 2007, at 23:26:31
Thanks Tony and you hit the mark. Almost wish I had some hypomania then I would have some fun. Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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