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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 10:17:58
I was just wondering, does anybody else relate depression to a feeling of an all pervading awkwardness? Meds like klonopin and ativan help somewhat with this for me. But with the lack of feeling, the apathy, the inability to relate to others and the "pyschomotor retardation", I kind of just feel awkward 24-7. Do any of you guys feel like this, in terms of depression? I wasn't much of an awkward kid before all this, and even if I was a little bit it never bothered me.
Posted by Phillipa on July 24, 2007, at 11:38:21
In reply to Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 10:17:58
Do you only take benzos for depression? As in the 70's I had severe anxiety, panic attacks and the benzos calmed me down and seriously I felt normal. They didn't have SSRI's then other choices were TCA's and they had just stopped using barbituates. They did not think that panic attacks were the same as depression. I did not feel the way you describe. Love Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 12:31:13
In reply to Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 10:17:58
I know exactly what your saying. For, well in 2004 when i was working i started to feel wierd, i went to my doctor and he said it was dissociation (feeling out of reality) which i was very scared i was going "coo coo".
What exactly do you feel? just like you looking out a window, or you see reality in frames?
Well it may not help but mine was more "panic" and disorientation, rather than depression, but feeling awkard yes i did.
R
Posted by spriggy on July 24, 2007, at 14:54:05
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 12:31:13
I know the times I've been in clinical depression I always started feeling a bit 'off'.
The only way I could describe is how you feel when you have a high fever; just like you are in a dream or disappearing.
It's hard to describe but it is definitely a strange feeling; almost a little bit like a bad "trip." ( I had my years as a teenager!).
I know that Xanex helped me with that feeling; and later on, I took Ativan for almost a year for it as well.
So I do think benzo's help with the awkward feeling.
You aren't alone; for me personally, just knowing others understood it made me feel some better.
Hang in there.
Posted by spriggy on July 24, 2007, at 14:58:00
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by spriggy on July 24, 2007, at 14:54:05
I just remembered that the clinical term for that weird feeling is "depersonalization."
A few times I have accidentally hyperventilated and got the same weird feeling; so maybe it is related to breathing and anxiety?
Sometimes taking deep, slow breathes from your stomach (and not chest) helps.
Posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 15:28:34
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 12:31:13
I also experience a fair amount of "depersonalization" (i.e feeling disconected from a sense of "self")
But what I'm wondering if anybody with depression experiences or would describe depression as a feeling of awkwardness. Feeling like an awkward, anti-social self...24-7. Feeling like an awkward child or something like that.(I also experience everything else that comes along with depression in addition to this awkwardness, so I'm not talking about social anxiety disorder per se.)
Posted by bart on July 24, 2007, at 15:45:47
In reply to Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 10:17:58
yep, generally I feel that awkwardness when I'm overmedicated with an SSRI. When I'm actually depressed I'm more able to express myself emotionally however irritable or sad I may be.
Posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 16:49:14
In reply to Yes rjlockhard.. it's called, posted by spriggy on July 24, 2007, at 14:58:00
Did you mispell my name on purpose?
Because i know i posted a really intense post about some social issues and if thats like an insult i dont appriciate that.
Known eachother for a while i just wanted to know if people are turning on me here.
Im getting paranoid.
Posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 16:51:50
In reply to Re: spriggy, posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 16:49:14
I misunderstood it. Sorry im having bad difficulty with this with friends.
Now that gives me a new idea for a new screen name "diehard" ha!
No sorry at first i thought it was an insult, never mind we all miss up typing.
M
Posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 17:02:08
In reply to Re: spriggy- wieght never mind, posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 16:51:50
no seriously im sorry i didnt understand how you came across.
I go out many with my frineds and have socials, and dont understnad saracasmim or if i do i usally get in arguements with i would say some of my friends are christain-"lukewarm" type because their so immature. Spend money, right after service they have something planned.
I need to really sit down and think about how i should re-evaluate my perception.
Matt
Posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 17:44:08
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 15:28:34
> I also experience a fair amount of "depersonalization" (i.e feeling disconected from a sense of "self")
>
>
> But what I'm wondering if anybody with depression experiences or would describe depression as a feeling of awkwardness. Feeling like an awkward, anti-social self...24-7. Feeling like an awkward child or something like that.
>
> (I also experience everything else that comes along with depression in addition to this awkwardness, so I'm not talking about social anxiety disorder per se.)
Anybody relate to this? Or have comments? I'd really app. it.Thanks
-Nick
Posted by KayeBaby on July 24, 2007, at 18:37:02
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 17:44:08
I get an apathetic, lethargic type of depression and I feel....just not 'with it' slow. If I am around people (which I avoid) I am out of sync and it is painful. The gears in my head and body feel like they are gummed up. My timing is off. I don't smile at the right time and nothing I say or any bodily gestures feel natural.
I am having trouble describing it. Awkward is good. Like a lumbering behemoth works. Retarded. Slow. Everyone else seems to be moving along smoothly and there I am-stumling, fumbling. Just plodding along and gimpy to the core.
Is this what you are describing?
Whatever it is it is so dispiriting. No wonder we retreat. It is impossible to feel connected at all.
Peace,
Kaye
Posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 20:14:32
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by KayeBaby on July 24, 2007, at 18:37:02
> I get an apathetic, lethargic type of depression and I feel....just not 'with it' slow. If I am around people (which I avoid) I am out of sync and it is painful. The gears in my head and body feel like they are gummed up. My timing is off. I don't smile at the right time and nothing I say or any bodily gestures feel natural.
>
> I am having trouble describing it. Awkward is good. Like a lumbering behemoth works. Retarded. Slow. Everyone else seems to be moving along smoothly and there I am-stumling, fumbling. Just plodding along and gimpy to the core.
>
> Is this what you are describing?
>
> Whatever it is it is so dispiriting. No wonder we retreat. It is impossible to feel connected at all.
>
> Peace,
> Kaye
Kaye,That is pretty much what I was describing.
For me, In addition to feeling awkward, it's so overwhelmingly awkward that it also VERY difficult to just "appear" like I'm functioning normally.
Posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 20:48:44
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 20:14:32
Urm, sorry for that post that totally didnt realte to what you where saying.
When i first stated having dissociation i experienced derealization, which when i look around everything seemed like a dream.
I have many posts in the past that i could pull up about this. I rerember going through this, i was put on klonopin then Ativan, this was all caused by fear, worry, and panic attacks.
I hated 2004. That period of time i was going through so much stress, god. I hated it.
I rerember well it was actually in 2005 because i thought i was going litterly insane. Things would not come up right, i saw reality throuhg a distored view, omg i hated it.
I dont know if you where around, or if you rerember those big posts back then i posted many times.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/585919.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/585919.html (read this)
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051126/msgs/583428.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050811/msgs/552057.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051120/msgs/581462.html
It will eventually leave, if you really get to other points in life.
Today im fine, i dont have those epiodoes ever again, but i rermeber the 2-3 years ago i rerember i thought it was never going to stop.
I actually went to a mental institution the St. Joseph (i dont rermember the exactly hostpial)
When i got there there where people looking at things that where not there, looking at me smiling weevily. I was dianosed there hypomanic.
Listen i rermeber that major period of time i went through, its almost forgotten now because i hated that period of my life.
It will go away, be mentally strong. And get a therpist, and get on a psychostimulant.
For me i did this on my own with out any stimualnmts to bring me back to reality. I was on Klonopin at the time, well i think Ativan. It was around late 2004- 2005.
Seriously take me seriously. I went through this.
Rj
Posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 21:14:24
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by rjlockhart on July 24, 2007, at 20:48:44
> Urm, sorry for that post that totally didnt realte to what you where saying.
>
> When i first stated having dissociation i experienced derealization, which when i look around everything seemed like a dream.
>
> I have many posts in the past that i could pull up about this. I rerember going through this, i was put on klonopin then Ativan, this was all caused by fear, worry, and panic attacks.
>
> I hated 2004. That period of time i was going through so much stress, god. I hated it.
>
> I rerember well it was actually in 2005 because i thought i was going litterly insane. Things would not come up right, i saw reality throuhg a distored view, omg i hated it.
>
> I dont know if you where around, or if you rerember those big posts back then i posted many times.
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/585919.html
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051203/msgs/585919.html (read this)
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051126/msgs/583428.html
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20050811/msgs/552057.html
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051120/msgs/581462.html
>
> It will eventually leave, if you really get to other points in life.
>
> Today im fine, i dont have those epiodoes ever again, but i rermeber the 2-3 years ago i rerember i thought it was never going to stop.
>
> I actually went to a mental institution the St. Joseph (i dont rermember the exactly hostpial)
>
> When i got there there where people looking at things that where not there, looking at me smiling weevily. I was dianosed there hypomanic.
>
> Listen i rermeber that major period of time i went through, its almost forgotten now because i hated that period of my life.
>
> It will go away, be mentally strong. And get a therpist, and get on a psychostimulant.
>
> For me i did this on my own with out any stimualnmts to bring me back to reality. I was on Klonopin at the time, well i think Ativan. It was around late 2004- 2005.
>
> Seriously take me seriously. I went through this.
>
> RjRj, I've experienced depersonalization and derealization but not in the same intensity as you have. I think it's also very closely related to depression.
But anyway, I'm curious as to why you say, "get on a psychostimulant." ((btw, I just started concerta)
Posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 11:35:58
In reply to Re: Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 21:14:24
RJ,
I was wondering why you said in your previous post in this thread that I should "get on a psychostimulant" (for depersonalization and derealization)
Thanks in advance.
-Nick
Posted by KayeBaby on July 25, 2007, at 12:35:54
In reply to FOR: Rjlockhart, posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 11:35:58
Nickguy,
Stimulants help me more than anything. Trouble is there is only one that I know of that works for me anymore. It's a little known schedule 3 stim called Didrex. It has quite a bit of peripheral stimulation which is undesirable for many but works well for me. It is ridiculously expensive for such an old med and there is NO generic. I usually have the pharmacy order.Seems like the cleaner the stimulant the less I benefit but I have a component of fatigue that is physical in origin (post viral/cfs whatever..)so that may be why. Adipex worked well for many years for me.
How is the concerta (?) working?
Best to you,
Kaye
Posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 14:27:04
In reply to Re: FOR: Rjlockhart, posted by KayeBaby on July 25, 2007, at 12:35:54
> Nickguy,
> Stimulants help me more than anything. Trouble is there is only one that I know of that works for me anymore. It's a little known schedule 3 stim called Didrex. It has quite a bit of peripheral stimulation which is undesirable for many but works well for me. It is ridiculously expensive for such an old med and there is NO generic. I usually have the pharmacy order.
>
> Seems like the cleaner the stimulant the less I benefit but I have a component of fatigue that is physical in origin (post viral/cfs whatever..)so that may be why. Adipex worked well for many years for me.
>
>
> How is the concerta (?) working?
>
>
> Best to you,
> Kaye
it's alright. Not causing anxiety, but also not doing much else either. I've only started on 18 mg, so I'm going up on a higher dose to see how that goes. Sometimes stimulants can help with "perepheral" issues for me too, which is good. I hoping it helps a little bit with feeling "dead" too, which is how I feel with my depression.
Posted by KayeBaby on July 25, 2007, at 17:05:57
In reply to Re: FOR: Rjlockhart, posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 14:27:04
Yeah-go up to 36 before you decide it's not for you. I found concerta to be subtle-it is veerrry slooow release. The only form of Ritalin I could tolerate so it must be subtle. Ritalin turns me into a drooling zombie. Cannot move on it.
Seems as though with stims people respond to either Ritalin or amphetamines well but not usually both well. So don't worry if the Concerta is not the thing for you cause chances are Dexedrine or maybe Adderall will be much better.
Take Care,
kaye
Posted by rjlockhart on July 25, 2007, at 17:21:24
In reply to Re: FOR: Rjlockhart, posted by KayeBaby on July 25, 2007, at 17:05:57
hey man,
no what i ment was a moderate dose like Adderall because it would bring you "out" of this like disorietnation. Like 40-60mg? thats what helped me BUT in the end stimulants dont cure everything.
What i ment by psychostimulant is at higher doses it reduces these epiosdes.
Tranquilizers for me didnt do much. But they did help. But if your having depression, i dont know.
Can you ask your doctor to switch to adderall or dextroamphetamine?
M
Posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 18:16:43
In reply to Re: nic, posted by rjlockhart on July 25, 2007, at 17:21:24
> hey man,
>
> no what i ment was a moderate dose like Adderall because it would bring you "out" of this like disorietnation. Like 40-60mg? thats what helped me BUT in the end stimulants dont cure everything.
>
> What i ment by psychostimulant is at higher doses it reduces these epiosdes.
>
> Tranquilizers for me didnt do much. But they did help. But if your having depression, i dont know.
>
> Can you ask your doctor to switch to adderall or dextroamphetamine?
>
> M
Thanks, RJ.I have tried Adderall XR in the past and it doesn't have much positive effects. Regular Adderall helps, but it doesn't last long and I usually have a crash from it. That's why I'm now trying the concerta, which seems to be going fairly smoothly.
-Nick
Posted by annarborgirl on July 28, 2007, at 13:57:06
In reply to Depression and a feeling of awkwardness., posted by nickguy on July 24, 2007, at 10:17:58
wow, i thought i was the only one that felt that way...it is REALLY bad when i have a down cycle and isolate for a week. (eat too much and rarely leave the house) i'm in that right now! i have been off lexapro and (most of)wellbutrin for a little more than 2 weeks because i have started the emsam patch. i had high hopes for this but all i feel is sleepy and very disconnected. yuk. today is my 4th day...
Posted by F00TBALL on July 29, 2007, at 9:52:21
In reply to Re: nic, posted by nickguy on July 25, 2007, at 18:16:43
Nic, it seems like a classic case of social anxiety disorder to me.
This is the end of the thread.
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