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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
Just wondered how many of you have managed to stay in employment. I have been depressed for 10 years now, I'm 26 now and in a fulltime very stressful job. This is all getting too much however. Ive recently started nardil and am finding it so hard to keep going when I can hardly stand for falling asleep not to mention slurring my speech in front of colleagues.
Do any of you find that you just hate being at work? For some reason i loathe it. I can't stand the thought of being there and it such an effort to put on a front and act like I'm interested in my work when really i couldn't give a damn. Considering taking sick leave but then the thought of sitting at home feeling miserable does not appeal to me much either.
Not sure what to do really. How have you all coped with depression and employment. If nardil does not work I suppose i am going to have to face the prospect of feeling like this forever. I don't think i can play the dutiful hard worker much longer.
Posted by harry_in_philly on April 23, 2007, at 18:24:39
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
I'm about the same age as you and am back in school. I'm under tons of stress and it is sometimes very hard. I have depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Currently taking wellbutrin sr. I think I need to be reassessed because my depression is worse.
Good luck. Know that you are not alone!
Posted by harry_in_philly on April 23, 2007, at 18:24:43
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
I'm about the same age as you and am back in school. I'm under tons of stress and it is sometimes very hard. I have depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Currently taking wellbutrin sr. I think I need to be reassessed because my depression is worse.
Good luck. Know that you are not alone!
Posted by Phillipa on April 23, 2007, at 19:33:01
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
Do you have short term disability? Or could it be done partly at home or part time for a while? Love Phillipa
Posted by nolegirl23 on April 23, 2007, at 21:17:46
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
> Just wondered how many of you have managed to stay in employment. I have been depressed for 10 years now, I'm 26 now and in a fulltime very stressful job. This is all getting too much however. Ive recently started nardil and am finding it so hard to keep going when I can hardly stand for falling asleep not to mention slurring my speech in front of colleagues.
> Do any of you find that you just hate being at work? For some reason i loathe it. I can't stand the thought of being there and it such an effort to put on a front and act like I'm interested in my work when really i couldn't give a damn. Considering taking sick leave but then the thought of sitting at home feeling miserable does not appeal to me much either.
> Not sure what to do really. How have you all coped with depression and employment. If nardil does not work I suppose i am going to have to face the prospect of feeling like this forever. I don't think i can play the dutiful hard worker much longer.
>
It's great to see somebody in my same boat. I too am 26, and have been working/going to school for the past 11 years while dealing with my multiple mental health issues..
When I was in high school, I always thought that my depression would subside once I was in college. While in college, I thought that my eating disorder, panic disorder, OCD and severe depression would all just magically dissapear once I got out of school and 'got a real job.'
I now have that 'real job' and I find myself at a standstill in terms of my mental health issues. Everything that I thought would be better has only gotten worse. As an adult, I have so much more to worry about than I ever did as a kid.And work! My God, somedays I sit and stare at my computer and have to actually force my hands to the keyboard to press the buttons on the keyboard.. About every 15 minutes I leave my office to go in the bathroom to cry because of some flashback that throws me into a panic attack.
For me, things have gotten better since my hospitalization and adjustments of my meds. I still have horrible days (like yesterday), but now I can manage to have a somewhat normal day at work. But, no matter what, I will cry at the drop of a hat. If somebody says something to me that I perceive to be mean or hurtful, I am a blurry mess and can't function..It was great to see that there is somebody else out there like me; trying to live a normal life only to find that there illness completely hinders them..
Posted by FredPotter on April 23, 2007, at 23:25:58
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
I go through phases of finding work unbearable. I too am in a stressful job. The strange thing is if I force myself to succeed in a difficult task it lifts my depression and I love work again. Staying at home is the worst possible thing I can do. BTW I'm coming up to 5 weeks on Nardil. I slurred my speech, lost balance and stumbled into things, in a word acted like a drunk, during the 1st 3 weeks but it seems to have left me now.
Posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 24, 2007, at 6:23:01
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
God, it is so nice (not nice for you though) to see other people in the same boat.
I spent the years between 2001 to 2003 feeling like that pretty much every day and then when the Seroxat started to work in 2003 I had two good years where I actually enjoyed work again. Then 2005 the seroxat stopped working and every day it is such an effort getting out of bed and forcing myself to do a job and act interested or like I really care. It makes me feel like such a fake and yet deep down I'm an honest person so I hate pretending all the time.
It does give me a sense of jubilation though knowing that I've managed to make it through another day. I just wish my life didn't feel like it was something just to get through, it's horrible.
Denise
Posted by jenny80 on April 24, 2007, at 17:45:04
In reply to Re: depression and work, posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 24, 2007, at 6:23:01
Thanks for replying. It is reassuring in a way to see that i'm not alone in this hatred for work !
I am hoping that when this nardil kicks in that i will find some enthusiasm for it again. Sometimes i wonder if my job is the problem but i can see that i have been depressed for far longer than when i started this job. I think i will be miserable in whatever job i do.
I am in week 2 and having that 'zombie' effect where I can't seem to speak to anyone and my thoughts feel slow. as well as the sedation and walking around bumping into things.
Did anyone have the zombie feeling and if so did it go away eventually ?
Posted by ClubSoda on April 25, 2007, at 9:34:47
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
I know exactly what you mean. My CFS started and then the depression kicked in. I was working a full-time job, going to school and somehow manage to do well at both. There were times that I'd go out to my car at lunch and just throw a fit because I was so frustrated. I'd pull myself together and go do it again. I agree with what FredPotter said about staying home. If I stayed home and gave into the illness it was 100 times worse. I'd stay home a couple of days in a row because I knew if I stayed home a third I'd need a doctor's note. I'd just push myself to go. It was never as horrible when I got back as I had made it up in my mind to be.
When I'm stuck in my own head I am alone in a very dangerous neighborhood.
Posted by Jedi on April 26, 2007, at 2:44:25
In reply to depression and work, posted by jenny80 on April 23, 2007, at 17:03:09
> Just wondered how many of you have managed to stay in employment. I have been depressed for 10 years now, I'm 26 now and in a fulltime very stressful job. This is all getting too much however. Ive recently started nardil and am finding it so hard to keep going when I can hardly stand for falling asleep not to mention slurring my speech in front of colleagues. ...
Hi,
Well I'm pushing 50 and have been fighting major depression for the past ten years. Before that, for over 20 years, I fought through dysthymia and social anxiety. A speach in front of a large crowd was a terrifying experience. I always had a job but my favorite saying was "fake it till you make it". It sure takes a lot of energy to fake it all the time. Luckily, back then I was good at computer programming. So I could kind of escape into the machine. Meetings were always the worse. Trying to concentrate and understand technical details, when your head's about to split open is a real challenge.Later in my career I have been self employed, so at least when I'm really down I can escape. There is another side to this, however, when you are self employed you also have to be self motivated. This is very difficult when living with major depression. It is way too easy to put off a project until tomorrow when I may be feeling better. Of course, tomorrow is the same. I've been on MAOIs for most of the past ten years. They have saved my life, but it sure would be nice to live without them.
Good Luck,
Jedi
Posted by Sebastian on April 26, 2007, at 21:13:23
In reply to Re: depression and work, posted by harry_in_philly on April 23, 2007, at 18:24:43
My trick to being good at work, is taking 10mg zyprexa. I've worked very hard for the last 10 years because of zyprexa. Every time I go off it I can't work, infact I'm too afrayed of work, can't function. Even taking less zyprexa has an impact, but not as bad as taking none. I get dilusional with out it.
This is the end of the thread.
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