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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 33. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
I'm 18 right now. Prior to high school I was very outgoing, had lots of hobbies and interests and several very good friends. No signs what-so-ever of depression or axiety.
It was 10th grade (my first year of high school) that I first began to notice my anxiety and depression. I became self-conscious and nervous around even my best friends and I began to feel sad and hopeless about the future.
This continued throughout highschool, and all but a few of my friends slowly drifted away. I became anxious doing previously simple things like making found calls or asking employees at stores questions. Meanwhile, my depression progressed and I found myself constantly sad, getting in stupid fights with my parents, having my grades drop, and not wanting to do anything but stay in my house by myself watching TV and listening to music.After high school, despite obviously not being in good enough shape, I went to an out-of-state-college away from my family and my friends, hoping for a fresh start. However it quickly became evident that my 3 years of social anxiety and depression in high school had made me largely forget about my personality and how to make friends, so I found myself hanging out with my roommate and his friends who were all very heavy drug users and had little interest in participating in campus activities.
Despite being initially uncomfortable, I soon began using with them. This had nothing but negative effects. My depression increased drastically because I did not really want to spend my college experience snorting cocaine, and swallowing ecstasy, and oxycontin while watching movie after movie in a dorm room. But I didn't know what else to do. Also to further increase my depression, my grades slipped drastically and I began to skip classes. For the first time in my life I began to have serious thoughts of suicide.
My social anxiety increased drastically as well as I began to be completely unable to have a conversation with anyone unless I was under the influence. I even needed to be using some illegal drug to have the courage to do something as simple as pick up and pay for my books. Whenever I was unfortunate enough to have to talk to some one without being under the influence of some drug, I could hardly manage to speak a coherent sentence and felt like an idiot.
This grew worse and worse, and near the end of October, I finally decided to make the best decision of my life and contact my parents. As I hoped, they were extremely sympathetic and told me to pack all my stuff and come home that very day.
I did, and that's when my medication/therapy started. I went through most of the SSRIs with no improvement. My Pdoc prescribed Cymbalta next and I had a horrible allergic reaction to it. Next was Klonopin + Abilify. The Klonopin seemed helpful, but the Abilify caused terrible akathisia, the worst feeling I had ever felt in the world. Next, I finally convinced him to combine Klonopin with Nardil. (Yes!!!) He also gave me some drug I had never heard of called Provogil, which as many of you here know, I absolutely adore.
Nardil has almost completely wiped out my depression, and Nardil and Klonopin have helped moderately with my social anxiety. I'm optmomistic when the doses of both are soon increased and when I start with Cognitive behavioral therapy next week, my social anxiety will, like my depression, become a thing of the past!
Posted by Phillipa on April 14, 2007, at 22:27:57
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
Age 24 first panic attack controlled and eliminated with 5mg of valium three times a day and miltown 450mg gave up on own cold turkey no side effects when no longer needed it. Small amoutnt very small of benzos as I went to nursing school, ran own business, brought up three kids, divorced and moved to VA. And then working as an RN met current husband l week after the marriage thyroid went and downhill since then. Love Phillipa
Posted by linkadge on April 14, 2007, at 23:26:45
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
Glad you have a doctor who is understanding.
I have been mainly depressed since 16, I am now 24, and have a useless doctor who only prescribes benzo's.
A good doctor can make all the difference in the world
Linkadge
Posted by football on April 15, 2007, at 1:30:12
In reply to Re: So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by linkadge on April 14, 2007, at 23:26:45
> Glad you have a doctor who is understanding.
>
> I have been mainly depressed since 16, I am now 24, and have a useless doctor who only prescribes benzo's.
>
> A good doctor can make all the difference in the world
>
> LinkadgeThere's no law that says you have to stick with the same doctor if you don't like him/her. Call around, find a doctor who is willing to prescribe MAOIs, and then dump your current doc.
Posted by Klavot on April 15, 2007, at 4:17:52
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
I was around 17 years old when I first developed clinical depression. My entire personality changed at the time, in some respects for better and in some respects for worse. Adolescence is by far the most common period for the manifestation of mental illness.
I remember one day my psychiatrist said to me: "Why can't you just *live* instead of asking so many questions about life."
There is something to be said for superficiality, being bliss with ignorance.
Klavot
Posted by naughtypuppy on April 15, 2007, at 9:18:41
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
I can't remember any other way. To me this is normal. They used to send me to child physcologists who would entertain themselves at my expense. Thats one small leap for a man, one giant leap backwards for mankind.
Posted by chiron on April 15, 2007, at 9:59:28
In reply to Re: So when did your depression and/or anxiety start? » football, posted by Phillipa on April 14, 2007, at 22:27:57
It's all I remember. It started around age 11, so I'm sure puberty had a role. They say that females that are sensitive to hormones become depressed at puberty, have PMS, and are worse on birth control pills - yip, that's me.
When I was in 6th grade I was so depressed they didn't know how to help me. I thought it was Satan and had times when I wondered if I was going through what Jesus did when he was suffering for our sins. (I am no longer religious) I think I started on Prozac around 13.
Today I am 34, so it's been 23 long years. I've been on and off different drugs. SSRIs did help some in the early years, but I think they now make me cycle up and down.
I've managed to work and go to school - but I've definitely not been able to accomplish what I've wanted (perfectionist tendencies). And I've been miserable the whole time.
A year ago I tried Adderall which made me feel great for a week, but then caused me to crash hard. Ended up in the hospital and decided to do ECT - which is the only thing that has ever really helped. It was so weird and wonderful- I actually felt like doing things. Unfortunately it didn't last.
So I've been trying the more hard-core stuff since, but everything makes me worse. Hoping the Emsam will be the exception.
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2007, at 18:27:51
In reply to Re: So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by chiron on April 15, 2007, at 9:59:28
Seriously I can't believe how young you all were. That's horrible. I really mean that. Wonder if the hormones in food any cause? Kids are bigger these days too. And it seems more babies born with something wrong. Wasn't that way when I had my kids. Love Phillipa
Posted by stargazer on April 15, 2007, at 21:57:34
In reply to Re: So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2007, at 18:27:51
The kids today speak right up without any reservation when they are depressed which is a good thing I guess except that meds have become the answer for everything and I'm not sure this is a good thing. Alot of what they feel is just being a teenager and going through very hard things for the first time.
I hid my depression for years because my mother minimized there was anything wrong with me and said everyone felt that way. And there were no good meds then so even if you were depressed the treatment was not very good. You had to be really sick before you brought it to someones attention.
And we never got any sympathy for feeling sad or unhappy, my parents had too many kids to be able to listen to me when 4 younger brothers and sisters were screaming for attention and my older sister was sick and in the hospital, so I was alone watching the younger kids. It is depressing to think about it even now.
SG
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2007, at 22:11:14
In reply to More acceptable today,more drugs, etc/Phillipa, posted by stargazer on April 15, 2007, at 21:57:34
Stargazer you know it's so true. If I were to say that to get attention and even that didn't work I would bang my knuckles on the floor til they swelled and no one even commented. Once at age l4 I had never had a drink I filled a coke bottle with a variety of booze in a neighbors. Hid it in my closet and when scared one night. Do you remember putting initials on your arm with a paperclip or something I drank it all and then cut my leg with a razor and scared myself so bad. I didn't mean to hurt myself. My mind was drunk. And you know they my Mother took me to the doctor he said not one word put butterflys on it and then sent me home. Parents never said a word either. The emotional hurt was horrible. Love Phillipa you help me remember things. Wonder what the response if I were l4 now would be?
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 16, 2007, at 7:34:15
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
You have been through so much at such a young age. Wow. What a strong person to hang in there.
Im 36 and it started when I was 27.
WOW.
Posted by football on April 16, 2007, at 10:57:14
In reply to Re: I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 18 YEARS OLD » football, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 16, 2007, at 7:34:15
> You have been through so much at such a young age. Wow. What a strong person to hang in there.
>
> Im 36 and it started when I was 27.
>
> WOW.I have a different view of it. I'm so young, that hopefully I'll be able to recover and have it not interfere with the majority of my adult life.
Posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 16, 2007, at 11:37:40
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
I was 17 years of age when I started to feel something wasn't right and I actually thought for a long time that I was dying.
I had all the blood tests and xrays and they found nothing until eventually the Dr just told me to go away as there was nothing wrong with me. I even then thought there was something physically wrong they just hadn't come up with a diagnosis. I never considered myself depressed just ill.
Then when I was 24 it seemed to get worse and I went to my GP in tears. He prescribed this Prothiaden (tryciclic) which I didn't want to take because I didn't think I was depressed. I'd never even heard of antidepressants at that time.
I gave in and took them and WOW it was like being reborn (the experience was so profound) I'll never forget it and I never really looked back.... Until now of course.The prothiaden seemed to stop working so well when I was about 28 so took Seroxat which again worked wonderfully. I also had therapy which I found pointless. I then came off antidepressants at the age of 31 and lo and behold my old (long forgotten friend) came back to haunt me at 35 and is still haunting me now, I'm 41.
Denise
Posted by linkadge on April 16, 2007, at 11:41:39
In reply to More acceptable today,more drugs, etc/Phillipa, posted by stargazer on April 15, 2007, at 21:57:34
I would think that the kids who are the most depressed don't speak up, and that those who are mildly depressed are the ones who speak up and get the attention and care.
Linkadge
Posted by stargazer on April 16, 2007, at 12:24:19
In reply to Re: More acceptable today,more drugs, etc/Phillipa » stargazer, posted by linkadge on April 16, 2007, at 11:41:39
That's an interesting way to look at it and you may be right. The vocal ones always get the attention and help and the quiet ones, myself included, didn't. I think the sicker, more shy you are the harder it is to ask for help since you feel different anyway. The ones that aren't that sick have a better way, an ease in communicating their concerns more easily and don't feel as defective, it's a different thought process, i think. I can't really explain what I'm trying to say but there is a difference between the types of depression, situational vs biological, and they present differently, exogenous vs endogenous and all of that as well.
And if your family fights for you,you are in a better position to get help early, I wasn't so lucky with my family's inability to hear my concerns and take action on my behalf.
My symptoms started in my early teens, with no intervention (I tried twice to get help and was not taken seriously) until in my late 20's, treated effectively with Nardil. Years of poor control w SSRI combinations that never worked very well and today, at 50, still not well controlled yet. I thought once the first med worked, my depression was going to be behind me. Not so lucky afterall but still fighting the fight with help from many of you here! You know who you are.
Stargazer
Posted by Sebastian on April 16, 2007, at 14:41:30
In reply to Re: I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 18 YEARS OLD » football, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 16, 2007, at 7:34:15
Posted by Phillipa on April 16, 2007, at 19:24:53
In reply to Re: More acceptable today,more drugs, /Linkage, posted by stargazer on April 16, 2007, at 12:24:19
And at age 24 with the first panic attack and the valium I just knew I'd always have that to fall back on in hard times. They left for years. Love Phillipa
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 17, 2007, at 0:42:50
In reply to Re: I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 18 YEARS OLD, posted by football on April 16, 2007, at 10:57:14
First the bad: Youre 18 about to being the prime of your life and it is a shame you have to go into it worrying about and dealing with emotional issues. Kids like you should be thinking about girls, video games, things to blow money on, trips to the beach and NOT urinary retention.
Now the GOOD: I was 27 when all this hit me. Because I was so young, my body held up much better than someone twice my age for anxiety, bizarre side effects (urinary retention hasnt been one but Ive had a zillion others, esp on Prozac). By going through this at a little earlier age, you hope to get it solved by the time you reach middle age if not earlier. Because if it comes out of the blue and smacks you then you may are prone to additional health problems which can make the emotional issues much more difficult to deal with. In my opinion (and I could be wrong) its a little harder to deal with depression when you also have to think about arthritis, diabetes II, hip surgery, bad back, high blood pressure, etc.
Posted by ClubSoda on April 17, 2007, at 13:00:04
In reply to Re: Mine started at 20 YEARS OLD (nm) » UgottaHaveHope, posted by Sebastian on April 16, 2007, at 14:41:30
Posted by rjlockhart on April 17, 2007, at 15:01:32
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
Posted by Phillipa on April 17, 2007, at 18:49:15
In reply to The good news and bad news about being 18, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 17, 2007, at 0:42:50
Michael yup been my point all along at a young age your body is healthy not all the problems I have. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 20, 2007, at 9:14:29
In reply to The good news and bad news about being 18, posted by UgottaHaveHope on April 17, 2007, at 0:42:50
I wonder why this is?
Also, one word of warning, as far as I'm concerned, if you start experiencing depression for no apparent reason and you find a drug that works stay on it. Don't think you are better then come off it because sometimes you relapse and it doesn't work the next time as you probably know.
I think in the years ahead we are going to see a lot of people who suffer from treatment resistent depression because more and more young people will be put on ADs, take them, come off them and then years later have a relapse and the next time round the drugs won't work. That's just what I think anyway.
Denise
Posted by Sebastian on April 20, 2007, at 14:20:11
In reply to Strange how it's often around the age of 17 or so., posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 20, 2007, at 9:14:29
Why do you think it happens at this age?
Posted by FredPotter on April 20, 2007, at 17:49:08
In reply to Strange how it's often around the age of 17 or so., posted by Deniseuk190466 on April 20, 2007, at 9:14:29
I think you're about to become adult at 17 and have to flee the nest, hence all the feelings of insecurity. That's when it hit me
Posted by Quintal on April 23, 2007, at 2:11:17
In reply to So when did your depression and/or anxiety start?, posted by football on April 14, 2007, at 21:24:56
Mine began when I was small and my mother was in and out of hospital having operations. I can remember asking her what the point of life was as we were going to bed one night. She said it was 'to be happy'.........
I withdrew altogether and turned mute at school when I was 13. First AD was Paxil at 17, changing quickly to dothiepin, then benzos when I was 19 until I was 24 during which time I ate my way through (almost) the entire pharmacopoeia. And here I am now having a remission at 25 on tianeptine and nicergoline.
Q
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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