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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
For those who don't know, about six months ago, I was discharged from and eating disorder hospital (anorexia nevosa w/ bulima)..
Since then, I have been put on additional meds, meaning meds that I was not on prior to my hospitalization. ..
I am currently on Lexapro - 40 mgs
Xanax XR - 4 mgs
Lamictal - 200 mgs
Vistaril - 50 mgs (for sleep)..
After being released from inpatient, I discovered wine. Wine mixed with my meds and the ultra calming, super soothing effect that a few glasses of wine had on top of my meds.
But now, six months after my relase from hospitalization, I feel so fat. I am 20 lbs heavier than when I was released. EVerybody keeps telling me that I look 'fine,' great,' average, healthy, ect. Anyways, I feel huge, fat, gross.. and nobody will tell me the truth!I feel that because everybody who I know has seen what I will do to lose weight, that nobody will be honest with me if I start to gain weight. I feel like everybody walks on eggshells around me so that I won't freak out and drop another 40 lbs.. I feel like everybody is lying to me; I feel like they are just saying that i look 'fine' to passify me in hopes that I quit asking..
I guess my ultimate question is, can my meds be responsible for weight gain ?
I work out 45 minutes a day, 4 times a week.
I eat a low fat, hight protein diet ( my T says that I restrict calories and excersize too much..) but for some reason, I have gained 20 lbs since my release from the eating disorder treatment facility..My second question, how much alcohol does one need to consume before weight gain is noticed?
When I drink, I drink red wine. I drink about 3 glasses on average (sometimes 4..). I still maintain my normal routine of healthy eating and intensive cardio 4 times a week..Am I gaining weight because of my body getting used to food? Am I gaining because of meds? Am I gaining because of wine? Am I even overweight or is it just this damn eating disorder screaming in my ear that I am to fat????
Effin A !
G.D. eating disorders!
Posted by med_empowered on March 15, 2007, at 21:11:41
In reply to I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
I think people are "telling the truth" when they say you look healthy. If you doubt it, you can ask your doctor or consult one of those online BMI things. Meds can cause weight gain; so can drinking and/or eating in excess, but a couple glasses of wine a day isn't a big deal. I think you should calm down.
Posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 21:21:37
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by med_empowered on March 15, 2007, at 21:11:41
Thank you soooo much med emp..
I know that I should calm down, I know that gaining weight is part of the process, but is is so humbling to feel like a slob.I agree with you when you say that I should believe people when they tell me that I look healthy, but when I look in the mirror, all i see is fat..
Thanks for the support
~ Shanon ~
Posted by Phillipa on March 15, 2007, at 21:43:50
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 21:21:37
Shannon you don't want to backslide on your eating disorder maybe some theraphy to work on body image. I don't think people lie to you about your weight . You are seeing an unrealistic image in the mirror. For those of us without eating disorders some days I fee that I look fat and other days I feel I look okay. Love Phillipa
Posted by med_empowered on March 15, 2007, at 22:02:42
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob.. » nolegirl23, posted by Phillipa on March 15, 2007, at 21:43:50
looking at my post, it seems kind of harsh. I think you should focus on all the progress you've been making in your life, and then try to get a more realistic body image. I think checking out your BMI is a good call, b/c that shows standardized stats you can't really argue with. If the BMI calculator puts you at a healthy weight, then your weight isn't an issue.
Could you try to distract yourself? I have some obsessions too, and I sometimes find music or doing something helps...gets your mind off things.
Good luck!
Posted by UGottaHaveHope on March 15, 2007, at 22:06:59
In reply to I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
My therapist is a lady who is known as one of the top experts in the world on eating disorders. She was on CNN last week. If you wish me to put you in touch with her, e me at sportscarvell@yahoo.com
Michael
Posted by Racer on March 16, 2007, at 0:46:14
In reply to I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
Yeah, well, me too! That was the topic, or part of it, tonight in my group therapy for EDs.
So, weight gain. Yes, the drugs can be contributing to it. Yes, the wine is probably contributing to it, too. And you know what's probably contributing even more? The restricting. Sad, but true. Restricting can slow the metabolism something awful, especially if you're restricting carbohydrates, especially starches.
If it helps, which I know it won't, I was told recetnly that I had to gain weight if I wanted to become pregnant. So, I started eating more starches. It was hard, it was frightening -- heck, it was terrifying. I feel about seventy pounds overweight, and I am aware at all times how horrible my body feels. The first week of eating more, I LOST weight. Normalizing my eating normalized my metabolism. And that's not actually unusual with AN.
I'm not sure I agree about looking at BMI calculators, but only because I know what an obsession it can be. (OK, so it's an obsession for me. As long as I still see it come up "underweight," I'm not as unhappy -- in other words, I'm acting out my ED, even if I'm not thin anymore.) Can you ask yourself what "gaining weight" actually means for you? What would "being fat" mean?
I know it's not about the food, it's not really about the weight. I feel fatter when I'm around heavy people. I feel huge when I'm around very thin people. But somehow, I feel slimmer around thin people I think like me. One of the women in my ED group is very thin, but around her I feel thinner. So, since it's obviously not about my actual size, my T and I are working on figuring out what it really is about.
Good luck.
Posted by Sandra62 on March 16, 2007, at 7:46:10
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob.. » nolegirl23, posted by Racer on March 16, 2007, at 0:46:14
Racer what is AN? Thanks!
Posted by Racer on March 16, 2007, at 12:40:36
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob. For Racer, posted by Sandra62 on March 16, 2007, at 7:46:10
> Racer what is AN? Thanks!
Anorexia Nervosa
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 16, 2007, at 14:15:31
In reply to I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
Red wine is pretty healthy, as far as alcohol goes. It has something like 50-60cals in it per 100ml.
So its sort like drinking OJ or cola or something in terms of calories.I think the meds are contributing to your weight gain - I know on celexa lexapro's sister drug, I gained weight, or rather, I craved carbs.
Anyway. I drink in the evenings too to help control anxiety and to give me a lift. Possibly not exactly healthy, but then I only drink ONE or maybe two beers max, so its not soo bad. And I'm not taking any medications at the mo.
You are probably alot fatter in your mind than in real life.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by nolegirl23 on March 16, 2007, at 16:08:22
In reply to Re: I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 16, 2007, at 14:15:31
Thank you all who replied, I have been obsessing about this again all day today, and talked to my boss who has always been very supportive.
Before talking to her, I asked like EVERYBODY in the office if I looked like I have gained weight - they said "yes, but you look healthy now.." I hate that word.. healthy.. It's like nicer word than fat.So my boss say that yes, I have put on some pounds after being released from inpatient, but she did point out that I needed to gain the weight, and that it has been six months since my release.
She said that I am at a great weight now. She said that I should try and maintain this weight. She also said that if I am concerned about gaining more and more weight (which I am, I am terrified that I am going to continue to gain..) than I should cut out the wine as that is the only unhealthy thing that I do.
So, I came home, threw out all of my wine and am going to see if my weight goes up, goes down, or maintains. I am trying not to freak, trying not to obsess, and trying to reassure myself that my weight is okay, and that cutting out the wine will cut out calories..
Thanks for all of your responses! BTW, med empowered, you did not sound harsh at all.
Also, my issue with the BMI is that it does not take into account the fact that muscle weighs more than fat..
Anyways, thanks all!
This is the end of the thread.
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