Posted by Racer on March 16, 2007, at 0:46:14
In reply to I'm afraid that I've become a blob.., posted by nolegirl23 on March 15, 2007, at 20:07:44
Yeah, well, me too! That was the topic, or part of it, tonight in my group therapy for EDs.
So, weight gain. Yes, the drugs can be contributing to it. Yes, the wine is probably contributing to it, too. And you know what's probably contributing even more? The restricting. Sad, but true. Restricting can slow the metabolism something awful, especially if you're restricting carbohydrates, especially starches.
If it helps, which I know it won't, I was told recetnly that I had to gain weight if I wanted to become pregnant. So, I started eating more starches. It was hard, it was frightening -- heck, it was terrifying. I feel about seventy pounds overweight, and I am aware at all times how horrible my body feels. The first week of eating more, I LOST weight. Normalizing my eating normalized my metabolism. And that's not actually unusual with AN.
I'm not sure I agree about looking at BMI calculators, but only because I know what an obsession it can be. (OK, so it's an obsession for me. As long as I still see it come up "underweight," I'm not as unhappy -- in other words, I'm acting out my ED, even if I'm not thin anymore.) Can you ask yourself what "gaining weight" actually means for you? What would "being fat" mean?
I know it's not about the food, it's not really about the weight. I feel fatter when I'm around heavy people. I feel huge when I'm around very thin people. But somehow, I feel slimmer around thin people I think like me. One of the women in my ED group is very thin, but around her I feel thinner. So, since it's obviously not about my actual size, my T and I are working on figuring out what it really is about.
Good luck.
poster:Racer
thread:741386
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070314/msgs/741492.html