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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on March 14, 2007, at 21:54:19
I want the pain to go away. I want peace. I can't handle this depression any longer. I wish I could disappear. Why doesn't anything help? Am I suppose to keep going like this? I CAN'T!
Maxime
Posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2007, at 21:59:48
In reply to I want peace, posted by Maxime on March 14, 2007, at 21:54:19
Know EMSAM isn't in Canada yet but could you get some and try it? Love Phillipa
Posted by stargazer on March 14, 2007, at 22:40:11
In reply to Re: I want peace » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2007, at 21:59:48
Maxime,
I hear you, I'm right where you at and I'm on the wonder drug Emsam...so despite the med, the outcome can never be predictable. It is amazing to me that so many of us suffer for years without any relief. I have been trying and trying and getting nowhere.
And lately the more I read makes me think meds can be making us worse,not better. So even the pdocs are clueless about how to treat so many of us. Lately I've been thinking I may have something worse than depression. I just want to know what it is.
Stargazer
Posted by kelv on March 14, 2007, at 23:37:01
In reply to Re: I want peace/me too, posted by stargazer on March 14, 2007, at 22:40:11
"So even the pdocs are clueless about how to treat so many of us. Lately I've been thinking I may have something worse than depression. I just want to know what it is.?
Take Ritalin?Amphetamine for 3 years-you'll have something more than depression-like mania/Bipolar-sever depression-Ritalin is one hell of an addictive drug-hell yea!
Posted by alienatari on March 15, 2007, at 4:04:50
In reply to I want peace, posted by Maxime on March 14, 2007, at 21:54:19
HUGS Maxime. How are you love? Im so worried about you. I wish you feel better soon I really do. Please email me if you can spacedoutkid@gmail.com i cant seem to babble mail you for some reason.
Again Hugs. I wish you have some peace from your depression soon.
Take care, love Chris.> I want the pain to go away. I want peace. I can't handle this depression any longer. I wish I could disappear. Why doesn't anything help? Am I suppose to keep going like this? I CAN'T!
>
> Maxime
Posted by stargazer on March 15, 2007, at 11:17:35
In reply to Re: I want peace/me too, posted by kelv on March 14, 2007, at 23:37:01
Took Ritalin, luckily (?) I had SE's of headaches so I couldn't continue to take but I did have some better results with Adderall,only now I can't find a AD to work, so without the AD, the Adderall won't be any good,it would probably mess me up more. F**k!...SG
I swear so much more when i'm depressed...there's so much anger that comes up, I'm happy for the people that have found solutions but angry that I haven't had any luck for any long term solution to this f**king situation...
Posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:33:08
In reply to Re: I want peace » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on March 14, 2007, at 21:59:48
> Know EMSAM isn't in Canada yet but could you get some and try it? Love Phillipa
I took it in the non-patch version a few years ago. It didn't help.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:37:47
In reply to Re: I want peace/me too, posted by stargazer on March 14, 2007, at 22:40:11
I know that 15 percent of people with depression do not respond to meds. That's a lot of people
considering how many people are afflicted with it.I do have something on top of the depression ... MS. And depression comes with MS. And I have an eating disorder (anorexia), which also cause depression. So I have a biological depression (before I was 10 years old) and then I have secondary depression as well. I don't think anything can get through the layers. I really don't have hope.
I'm sorry you feel the same way.
Maxime
> Maxime,
>
> I hear you, I'm right where you at and I'm on the wonder drug Emsam...so despite the med, the outcome can never be predictable. It is amazing to me that so many of us suffer for years without any relief. I have been trying and trying and getting nowhere.
>
> And lately the more I read makes me think meds can be making us worse,not better. So even the pdocs are clueless about how to treat so many of us. Lately I've been thinking I may have something worse than depression. I just want to know what it is.
>
> Stargazer
Posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:39:45
In reply to Re: I want peace/me too, posted by kelv on March 14, 2007, at 23:37:01
I take Adderall to help with the depression. My dosage has stayed the same. I don't take it on weekends just to give my body a break from it.
Maxime
> "So even the pdocs are clueless about how to treat so many of us. Lately I've been thinking I may have something worse than depression. I just want to know what it is.?
>
> Take Ritalin?Amphetamine for 3 years-you'll have something more than depression-like mania/Bipolar-sever depression-Ritalin is one hell of an addictive drug-hell yea!
>
Posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:44:33
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*, posted by alienatari on March 15, 2007, at 4:04:50
Thanks for the hugs. :)
I am not online as much because I am working so many hours. I am exhausted. But yes, I must send you an email ... or a card. :)
I am not doing well at all. I've gone so many years with med-resistant depression and I kept plodding along with suicide attempts along the way. But now I think my brain and body are exhausted from the years of struggling with mental illness (depression and an eating disorder). I feel old and worn out.
Love,
Maxime
> HUGS Maxime. How are you love? Im so worried about you. I wish you feel better soon I really do. Please email me if you can spacedoutkid@gmail.com i cant seem to babble mail you for some reason.
>
> Again Hugs. I wish you have some peace from your depression soon.
> Take care, love Chris.
>
> > I want the pain to go away. I want peace. I can't handle this depression any longer. I wish I could disappear. Why doesn't anything help? Am I suppose to keep going like this? I CAN'T!
> >
> > Maxime
>
>
Posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 8:16:08
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS* » alienatari, posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:44:33
Maxime,
YOu sound like me, I just told my doctor yesterday that I think working for so long with depression never allowed me to get better.I have always been good at hiding it and the more I repressed it the more I denied how huge a problem it has been over the 20 years I have been taking meds. I thought, hey I can still work, kind of, but I was really just continuing to not get better. I now see what a full time job it is to try and find answers. I could never do what I am now doing to research, try more meds, etc. My fear was always getting worse while continuing to work.
With my age (50) it is harder to repress and deny the severity of it, since my defenses are not as effectively controlling my symptoms anymore. This is probably a combination of factors, one of which is the aging effect. The Other is my anger has surfaced and I am really pissed off my treatment has been so marginal for all the years I followed my pdoc's advice and continued to try meds and push for better solutions.
I think knowing I have so little time left to find a solution that I am fighting with every ounce of strength to figure this out so I can have some quality of life before I die.
Either way, I'm pushing the envelope now to get my pdoc to help me or else I need to see other specialists who I have yet to find in my area. Even my pdoc is at a loss as to who he would recommend for me to see. I think I may either have to enter a research study or find a leading psychopharmacologist/MD who is really at the top of the field.
Stargazer
Posted by Maxime on March 20, 2007, at 19:25:24
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*/Maxime, posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 8:16:08
*hugs*
It it so hard and it does wear a body and brain down.
I've seen psychopharmacologists and I have tried just about everything (except ECT). My depression has been dx'd as treatment resistant and/or atypical.
EXHAUSTED.
Maxime
> Maxime,
> YOu sound like me, I just told my doctor yesterday that I think working for so long with depression never allowed me to get better.
>
> I have always been good at hiding it and the more I repressed it the more I denied how huge a problem it has been over the 20 years I have been taking meds. I thought, hey I can still work, kind of, but I was really just continuing to not get better. I now see what a full time job it is to try and find answers. I could never do what I am now doing to research, try more meds, etc. My fear was always getting worse while continuing to work.
>
> With my age (50) it is harder to repress and deny the severity of it, since my defenses are not as effectively controlling my symptoms anymore. This is probably a combination of factors, one of which is the aging effect. The Other is my anger has surfaced and I am really pissed off my treatment has been so marginal for all the years I followed my pdoc's advice and continued to try meds and push for better solutions.
>
> I think knowing I have so little time left to find a solution that I am fighting with every ounce of strength to figure this out so I can have some quality of life before I die.
>
> Either way, I'm pushing the envelope now to get my pdoc to help me or else I need to see other specialists who I have yet to find in my area. Even my pdoc is at a loss as to who he would recommend for me to see. I think I may either have to enter a research study or find a leading psychopharmacologist/MD who is really at the top of the field.
>
> Stargazer
Posted by antigua on March 20, 2007, at 19:48:45
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*/Maxime, posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 8:16:08
You have LOTS of years left. Being 50 today is like being 40--lots of productive years ahead, and hopefully some fun! You deserve it.
antigua
Posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 20:50:39
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*/Maxime » stargazer, posted by antigua on March 20, 2007, at 19:48:45
Antigua, I only have lots of productive years left if I get things under control which hasn't really happened for more than a few good years out of 20 years on meds. So that is why I say I have so little time left. Unless the med is found soon, my future is uncertain.
Thanks for trying to make it sound positive though...SG
Posted by Phillipa on March 20, 2007, at 22:48:06
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*/antigua, posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 20:50:39
Stargazer I remember they don't search except by psychiatrist. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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