Posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 8:16:08
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS* » alienatari, posted by Maxime on March 17, 2007, at 12:44:33
Maxime,
YOu sound like me, I just told my doctor yesterday that I think working for so long with depression never allowed me to get better.I have always been good at hiding it and the more I repressed it the more I denied how huge a problem it has been over the 20 years I have been taking meds. I thought, hey I can still work, kind of, but I was really just continuing to not get better. I now see what a full time job it is to try and find answers. I could never do what I am now doing to research, try more meds, etc. My fear was always getting worse while continuing to work.
With my age (50) it is harder to repress and deny the severity of it, since my defenses are not as effectively controlling my symptoms anymore. This is probably a combination of factors, one of which is the aging effect. The Other is my anger has surfaced and I am really pissed off my treatment has been so marginal for all the years I followed my pdoc's advice and continued to try meds and push for better solutions.
I think knowing I have so little time left to find a solution that I am fighting with every ounce of strength to figure this out so I can have some quality of life before I die.
Either way, I'm pushing the envelope now to get my pdoc to help me or else I need to see other specialists who I have yet to find in my area. Even my pdoc is at a loss as to who he would recommend for me to see. I think I may either have to enter a research study or find a leading psychopharmacologist/MD who is really at the top of the field.
Stargazer
poster:stargazer
thread:741101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070320/msgs/742413.html