![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nickguy on September 20, 2006, at 19:19:11
Sometimes when it eases up a little bit, I kind of feel like i'm missing my identity, or an important part of my character. I guess it's because it has influenced me in so many ways. Any further thoughts?
Posted by Phillipa on September 20, 2006, at 22:18:16
In reply to anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression?, posted by nickguy on September 20, 2006, at 19:19:11
I have no idea who I am anymore. Maybe a streetless person or a movie star? Love Phillipa. No I'm not joking I feel horrible
Posted by river1924 on September 21, 2006, at 2:22:52
In reply to anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression?, posted by nickguy on September 20, 2006, at 19:19:11
Well, I've been on this trip for almost twenty years and... I recall that feeling. A few times it meant my meds had turned me into a zombie.... Early on, I felt lonely and numb when an anti-depressant (or some other drug) would work and "hate" the drug. Over time I've learned to retry meds and realized sometimes that it took away or added emotions to my life I hadn't even known I had because I was so used to either feeling it/not feeling it.
It still happens. My best improvement was a monthlong zen meditation retreat. I lost my fear and felt so open and (even stopped a few meds) and... there it was again, loneliness.
I felt like I was doing something wrong. I had been in various degrees of pain so long that skills many people have, I lacked. I spent to much time protecting myself and being apathetic and nurturing myself as I grew up... that when I didn't need to do those things, I didn't know what to do with myself.
I just read about some people who had an experimental procedure that put two thin wires into an area of the brain called the subgenual cingulate region (Brodmann area 25.) An slight electrical current pulses in the wire. Some people who had severe untreatable depression for years were suddenly, in the blink of an eye, okay.
The scientist involved, Dr Mayberg, said they needed several months of therapy to adjust to life and develop aspirations and skills that had wilted years, decades earlier.
Later and Peace, R. (I hope you keep missing your depression [I mean I hope it doesn't come back] and then, maybe, stop thinking about it when you develop other interests. That would be great.)
Posted by Crazy Horse on September 21, 2006, at 12:27:39
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » nickguy, posted by river1924 on September 21, 2006, at 2:22:52
Hell NO!
Posted by SLS on September 21, 2006, at 12:52:31
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression?, posted by Crazy Horse on September 21, 2006, at 12:27:39
Hi buddy.
Did you have trouble reading when you were depressed? Could you read an entire paragraph word-for-word? In what ways was your memory affected?
(Isn't it cool that your depression should be spoken of in the past tense)?
I'm going up to 450mg with Lyrica "officially". Based upon what I felt for the week I was at 400-675mg accidentally, I really don't think it will work.
Now, I have to convince my doctor to let me stay on nortripyline if we decide to try Emsam. He is more afraid of MAOIs than I thought he would be. He had a bad experience with one patient on Parnate.
Stay well.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on September 21, 2006, at 20:46:29
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » Crazy Horse, posted by SLS on September 21, 2006, at 12:52:31
Scott you decided to try EMSAM? That means a lot to me that you think it might work. Love Jan
Posted by nickguy on September 21, 2006, at 23:52:55
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » nickguy, posted by river1924 on September 21, 2006, at 2:22:52
Sure it's obvious that when you are in one state (depressed) for a while and go to another all of the sudden (not depressed) you would feel somewhat lost and not like yourself. But that's different. I'm certainly not without depression. I guess the point is that any kind of happiness I feel tends to feel somewhat fake, and the depression feels much more real. When I try to reach for joy it just doesn't feel genuine at all.
Posted by SLS on September 22, 2006, at 2:03:38
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » SLS, posted by Phillipa on September 21, 2006, at 20:46:29
> Scott you decided to try EMSAM? That means a lot to me that you think it might work. Love Jan
I discussed Esmam with my doctor today. I am still very undecided about it. Based upon what people have reported here, I can see that it produces an energizing and anxiolytic effect early in treatment, but I am not so convinced that it is as effective as Parnate or Nardil as an antidepressant. However, it is a drug that I haven't tried yet, and sometimes that is enough of a reason to try one. He does have one person with TRD doing well with it.
I guess I would be more inclined to try Parnate or Nardil if I never tried a MAOI before.
Regarding the subject of this thread, during the time of my longest remission, I did not feel lost without my depression. I was having too much fun living. For me, depression is not about melancholy. There is no content to my depression, so there is no theme that is missing or lost when the depression is irradicated.
- Scott
Posted by poop'd-out on September 22, 2006, at 2:28:46
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » Crazy Horse, posted by SLS on September 21, 2006, at 12:52:31
>
> I'm going up to 450mg with Lyrica "officially". Based upon what I felt for the week I was at 400-675mg accidentally, I really don't think it will work.
>
Sorry for hijacking, I actually do know what the first poster is talking about... I think maybe some of it is due to your depression not being entirely gone. Hard to explain though.Scott,
I have been taking Lyrica for about 2 1/2 weeks now. I have been switching out my Neurontin for the Lyrica. It might have been easier for me to take Lyrica since I have already been on the Neurontin.
I have been at 600mg for about 3 to 4 days now. I take 2-100mg tid. It hasn't been a picnic for me, but I have had much worse times on other medications.
Alot of spaciness
Unable to retrieve words
Some anxiety and anger
Hard time driving(whoops, paid more attention after that one time)But, I truly have to say that once I started the 600mg moving up fairly slowly, I really did notice some clarity, motivation, happiness(I dare say), but I definitely am still adjusting to this dose. I seem to have a good day, then a bad one. No idea why. So, I am still adjusting and it is anything but perfect. But I am definitely seeing glimpses of maybe.
Just hoping you don't give up on Lyrica before it has a chance. Sorry, not preaching just letting you know my experience so far. I can try and let you know how it goes from here. Who knows it could go bad or it could get even better.
I also take:
150mg Zoloft
400mg Tegretol tid(2-200mg tablets)Beth
Posted by SLS on September 22, 2006, at 5:48:00
In reply to My experience with Lyrica so far » SLS, posted by poop'd-out on September 22, 2006, at 2:28:46
Posted by Crazy Horse on September 22, 2006, at 8:57:59
In reply to Re: anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression? » Crazy Horse, posted by SLS on September 21, 2006, at 12:52:31
> Hi buddy.
>
> Did you have trouble reading when you were depressed? Could you read an entire paragraph word-for-word? In what ways was your memory affected?
>
> (Isn't it cool that your depression should be spoken of in the past tense)?
>
> I'm going up to 450mg with Lyrica "officially". Based upon what I felt for the week I was at 400-675mg accidentally, I really don't think it will work.
>
> Now, I have to convince my doctor to let me stay on nortripyline if we decide to try Emsam. He is more afraid of MAOIs than I thought he would be. He had a bad experience with one patient on Parnate.
>
> Stay well.
>
>
> - ScottHi Scott,
It is SO COOL to refer to my depression in the past tense!
To answer your question about being able to read a paragraph word-for-word and my memory during depression. When depressed, i had no interest in reading much of anything, and when i did, yes it was difficult...I had to re-read sentences over and over to digest the information. This is not the case now. My memory was impaired as well when i was depressed, but i didn't give a sh*t..actually i didn't give a sh*t about much of anything.
I sure hope Lyrica helps you..it has been nothing less than a miracle drug for me. Also, adding EMSAM hopefully will help. Good Luck Bud!
-Monte
Posted by Declan on September 22, 2006, at 18:38:58
In reply to i can explain, posted by nickguy on September 21, 2006, at 23:52:55
Know what you mean Nick,it's that way with me. But we're edging closer to the one we return to about 'do we choose our depression'?
The word depression is not helpful.I've always felt that I needed to touch bottom.
Posted by Phillipa on September 22, 2006, at 19:34:30
In reply to My experience with Lyrica so far » SLS, posted by poop'd-out on September 22, 2006, at 2:28:46
That's interesting . Monte aren't you on zoloft too? Could there be a connection? Love Phillipa
Posted by nickguy on September 22, 2006, at 22:43:08
In reply to Re: i can explain, posted by Declan on September 22, 2006, at 18:38:58
> Know what you mean Nick,it's that way with me. But we're edging closer to the one we return to about 'do we choose our depression'?
> The word depression is not helpful.
>
> I've always felt that I needed to touch bottom.
i guess it feels safe there.
Posted by cecilia on September 23, 2006, at 1:34:58
In reply to anybody ever feel lost w/o their depression?, posted by nickguy on September 20, 2006, at 19:19:11
I think I might feel lost without my depression. I don't know. I can't remember ever not being depressed so I really have no concept of what that would feel like. If some miracle treatment actually came out that magically eliminated my depression, I'm sure the next day I would be diagnosed with cancer or some other horrible disease. Cecilia
Posted by river1924 on September 24, 2006, at 2:32:46
In reply to i can explain, posted by nickguy on September 21, 2006, at 23:52:55
> Sure it's obvious that when you are in one state (depressed) for a while and go to another all of the sudden (not depressed) you would feel somewhat lost and not like yourself. But that's different. I'm certainly not without depression. I guess the point is that any kind of happiness I feel tends to feel somewhat fake, and the depression feels much more real. When I try to reach for joy it just doesn't feel genuine at all.
Hi,
I've never gotten rid of my depression: I'm either in intense psychic suicidal pain, muddle headed, irritable, okay, frustrated, angry, bored, sleepy, functional, etc...
The few times it has lessened a lot, I'd try to hold on to it and, at that point, I'd feel artificial. But I don't really recall being happy (even as a kid.) I don't think I understand your experience.
I wish I could. I'd like to be helpful or empathetic. River.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.