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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart on May 30, 2006, at 22:33:00
Yes,
I just went to a huge party get together, and well someone, i dont know what to say, but i just left, i couldnt take it it was too much pain that I was not being "intergrated"
I was just sitting there not saying anything, nothing on my mind, and i felt so horrible, so left out, what is wrong with me.
I gotup and just left, i could not take it. It was too much pain, and feeling left out.
I took a Xanax when i got home and just collapsed on the floor. (not from the Xanax) over what happened, why i left.
Its still getting to me.
I just want to just, i dont know i was on Dexedrine which made me talkative, but i dont take it anymore.
Im getting a therpist, anything to change my personality.
Matt
Posted by heaven help me on May 31, 2006, at 7:41:35
In reply to avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by rjlockhart on May 30, 2006, at 22:33:00
Hi Matt,
You've probably already explained this but I am new to the board. I am wondering what your diagnosis is (if any), and what meds you are on?
blessings
mary
PS: good to hear from you again!
Posted by CEK on May 31, 2006, at 17:25:09
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by heaven help me on May 31, 2006, at 7:41:35
Matt, I've never been able to do the party scene. Even in high school and college when everyone was having parties, I hated going to them. I felt so out of place even if I knew a few people there. I'm still that way. I could've died when I had to go to my husband's company Christmas party that was all the supervisors and big wigs there. I begged him not to make me go, but he said I had to go with him. I wished I could've spent the night hid under the table or in the bathroom. It was horrible! I even hate going to his families gatherings they have at Easter and Christmas and find every excuse in the world not to go. I know all of these people, but can not stand to be there with all of them together. I'm ok one on one, but all of them, I just can't think of anything to say and feel so awkward. I feel very self concious around a group of people, like they're all looking at me thinking that I look fatter than last time they saw me or sizing me up or something. My husband doesn't understand the way I feel and it always ends up in an arguement whenever a social occasion comes up. I feel this way even when I have to go to the store and even at work. I guess it's just my own insecurities and the way I feel about myself, but I can't make it stop. Are there meds for this? Therapy hasn't helped any, and so far none of my meds have helped either. If I had my way, I guess I'd just stay in the house forever and never leave.
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2006, at 21:50:06
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by CEK on May 31, 2006, at 17:25:09
CEK wow!!!! you wrote my story. Maybe we should be friends we could hide together. Love Phillipa
Posted by CEK on June 1, 2006, at 8:50:18
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder) » CEK, posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2006, at 21:50:06
I've thought this many times. You seem like you'd be a lot of fun! That is if we could hide out somewhere away from the rest of the scary world! Too bad you can't order in for ice cream like you do pizza! Love, Cara
Posted by Last Chance on June 1, 2006, at 11:25:30
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder) » Phillipa, posted by CEK on June 1, 2006, at 8:50:18
Cara, Phillipa - Social Phobia - I am 61 and have had it my whole life - tried many meds in the past, but my concerns over addiction to Benzo's has always convinced me to stop them. So after almost 60 years of trying to deal with this life wrecking condition in many different ways, I'm really still in the same place. Cara - If your husband, partner, can't understand and really most people can't, he better look deep inside and conjure up some compassion. To make you feel worse about your curse, is just the opposite of how someone who "loves" you needs to be. Nardil is powerful for SP (the old formula anyway), and for a year I was a different person - I just opened up, and was even playing music in public again - something which seems inconceivable at the moment. Too many side effects so I stopped. This is my 5th day on Emsam, cut a 6mg in half - some agitation, but not intolerable. No help yet for depresstion and anxiety. In a few days I will up the dose unless things get worse. I still want to get over this, even if it is just for the last few years of my life - I wish you and everyone here, freedom from our suffering. Richard
Posted by heaven help me on June 2, 2006, at 13:24:20
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder) » Phillipa, posted by CEK on June 1, 2006, at 8:50:18
I'm telling you, I HATED to go to my husband's parites, or ANYWHERE that I did not have some deep meaningful connection to the person/s I would see (which was very few), and that feeling is GONE now! I have no idea why, it has just waned away over the last year. My guess is
a)the meds are doing more than one thing and this is one of them
b) the Lord has shown compassion on ME and freed me of some of that anxietyI can actually go up to STRANGERS now and strike up conversation which I could NEVER do before without feeling very, very sick (which made me not do it)
You guys are great!
love to you both
mary
Posted by CEK on June 2, 2006, at 15:57:11
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by heaven help me on June 2, 2006, at 13:24:20
Mary, what kind of meds are you taking that you think might be helping you with this? I know it may be God's grace, but just in case the meds helped too I was wondering. Thanks, Cara
Posted by Phillipa on June 2, 2006, at 17:25:24
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by heaven help me on May 31, 2006, at 7:41:35
Mary could you tell what drugs enabled or helped you to be able to do this. I'm sure the Lord helped but maybe the meds were a blessing bestowey on you to let you be able to this. Would you share. Love Phillipa
Posted by Caedmon on June 2, 2006, at 19:33:00
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder), posted by Phillipa on June 2, 2006, at 17:25:24
Could be a social phobia thing. I have social anxiety disorder, I am much the same way.
Social anxiety is the most chronic of anxiety disorders. My guess is that it is also the most difficult to treat. Here I am 4 years later after much CBT, interpersonal psychotherapy, at least a dozen different meds, and I still have it. :-(
- Chris
Posted by heaven help me on June 2, 2006, at 21:25:01
In reply to Re: avoiding social situation (panic disorder) » heaven help me, posted by CEK on June 2, 2006, at 15:57:11
> Mary, what kind of meds are you taking that you think might be helping you with this? I know it may be God's grace, but just in case the meds helped too I was wondering. Thanks, Cara
THE SHORT ANSWER:
am: Synthroid, B,C,E,Garlic, Minerals, Enzymes
midday: Valium, healthy food
pm: 120 mg Geodon, 200 Lamictal, Resotril
THE LONG ANSWER:
Well, I have tried a whole host of meds in the last few years but the ability to strike it up with strangers is a new one to me. It is hard to get into this without getting into the spiritual aspect of it so bear with me. BEFORE meds at all I was not able to handle talk with strangers (or at least on the inside I was thiking about how to get out of it). Then, also, I was trying really hard to be a "good Christian". God let my depressions, and anxieties and insomnias come to a crashing all time high about 4 years ago which is when I (who had sworn NEVER to take meds beacuse that, to me, was an admission of not being well) finally let the Dr. talk me into Ambien for sleep. This began the talking with the Dr that led to the "discovery" that I also had depression, anxiety, etc. We tried many ADs, ALL of which drove me mad either by making me too tired to function, too wired to speak, too deep in anxiety to do anything but cry and shake and so on. My PA finally told me he thought I was bipolar 2 and I went on Zyprexa. (with Prozac and Ambien) Things were good as in I felt better but still unable to really live interacting with people without being sure that I was somehow going to be exposed, or fooled, or something. 35lb of weight gain and a diagnosis of pre-diabetes later we decided it was time to try something else. I tried adding Lamictal which helped a bit, have been on it over a year now. Then 4 months ago we weaned off Zyprexa (hell in itself-but done VERY SLOWLY, from dose to speck was do-able with the help of Lorazepam). In ONE meeting my PA (no, really, he is good) he changed me from Zyprexa(weaned), Prozac(cold turkey), Lamictal and Ambien(cold turkey) to Geodon, Paxil, Lamictal and Restoril. Well, as you can imagine, things were not well for a while. We ditched the Paxil and I have since been on Geodon, Lamictal and Resotril in the eves.
After an adjustment period of about a month I have felt GREAT!!!! Now, I do have some weird jittery thingy going on in the evenings which he has given me a Valium a day for (works wonders) and I have what I think is an inner ear infection giving me very dizzy spells of Veritgo that have been going on about 6 weeks or so now. I wonder sometimes if they are med related but my PA said just wait it out. In that last 6 weeks or so not only do I FEEL better but the Lord has shown me how low I can go over these last few years that I feel this sort of sudden utter reliance on Him that I had not felt before (remember, I wasn't going to take meds cause I could do "it" myself). Since Jan. I have been working at a local crisis pregnancy center where women from ALL walks of life (executives to drug addicts come in for HELP!!!) and I have seen, by God's grace, that I am NO BETTER than ANYONE!!!!!!!!! I am NOT a "good Christian" and I can never BE one. If I am anything "good" at all it is because by the grace of God HE has done something through me. Without Him I beleive I would be dead by now - having not given into meds but having continued doing it on my own, I'd have done myself in. So, He has taught ME (and we all learn in different ways) that I had plenty of faith for Him to heal me (as I had prayed for years for this pre meds) but no faith to trust Him to work through me with meds, and someone else in control (rather than me). So now, here I am, feeling tons better with some PA in charge of me and taking a bunch of meds that I never would have pronounced let alone taken. In addition, His allowing me to come into very close relationships with these women at the center, to see first hand the true dire state of human kind, has given me HIS compassion for these lost, hurting and suffering people and suddenly, suddenly I feel like I can't say enough to enough people!!!! I want everyone to know that God is amazing and that He never gives up on anyone who calls to him (though He may make me wait long enough to learn my lesson) and I don't want ANYONE to miss out on hearing His love call on their hearts. Not the woman at the grocery store, not the addict on the corner, not the mother in the hospital, not the kid next door, not the family at the park, not my daughter's friends, not the gang member, not my acquaintances, not the guy at the tattoo shop. (these ARE all strangers I have taken the initiative to talk to recently). I am BLOWN AWAY by the compassion and the power He has given me to speak as I have never before and to seek conversation with strangers as NEVER have I before. Somehow, now I just see EVERYONE as needing someone to reach out to them, whereas before I somehow was so self-centered that I spent all my time worrying about what others would think of me, or what if I said the wrong thing, or what if the conversation didn't really matter anyway, etc. Now, I think I don't care what anyone thinks of me. God has taken a mess (so if you think I'm one, yep, I am, no more hiding there) and made a miracle and I am happy to tell anyone what He has done for me. Whew! So there you have it. I'm beat, and have probably now spoken more than I should have. Hope I answered your question!
blessings
mary
PS: I'm still a bit worried about all this TD and Geodon talk, plan to talk to my PA on Monday about that one. Really though, so what if God wants me to sink lower? The lower I sink, the better I smell!
This is the end of the thread.
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