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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deniseuk on January 17, 2006, at 11:17:01
Hi,
I've been reading some of the notes on this site and have been pondering that question about this search for the right drug and are we all searching for that elusive feeling.
I've suffered from depression since I was 17, for 10 years I was completely depression free with the aid of antidepressants, I came off them and then had another episode 5 years later. Since then nothing has really worked very well. I keep trying to go on and act like a normal person with a normal job and do normal things but I never really feel very good or excited about anything. If someone told me I had only 3 months to live I'm almost sure I'd feel relieved.
I was made redundancy in July of this year but being made redundant was nothing compared to the anxiety and depression I experienced 4 years ago, I handled the redundancy ok and I've managed to find temp jobs but all the time I want to find a drug which will make life seem bearable.
Sometimes I get so confused, I don't know why I feel as I do, I don't know why the drugs no longer seem to work, I don't know why I'm depressed and anxious, I'm sure it can't be due to circumstances because I try making changes to my situation but nothing seems to make any difference.
Do I just need to find the right job, do I need to find somebody to love me, do I need to help people more, make more friends, what is it I have to do for life to seem bearable? What is it I'm doing wrong and what is it that non-depressed people are doing that makes them feel ok?
Denise
Posted by ed_uk on January 17, 2006, at 13:50:56
In reply to Is there something else I should be doing?, posted by deniseuk on January 17, 2006, at 11:17:01
Hi Denise
I was just trying to remember what meds you've tried for depression. Have you tried lofepramine (Gamanil)?
Ed
Posted by James K on January 17, 2006, at 15:53:06
In reply to Is there something else I should be doing?, posted by deniseuk on January 17, 2006, at 11:17:01
I wonder if the stress of the job situation is affecting you more than you realize?
I lost my job 18 months ago. I wasn't "made redundant", I was "terminated for conduct detrimental to the companies reputation and engaging in threatening behavior to a company vendor." After multiple hospitalizations and med changes and "therapy" I still just want to punch somebody in the face over and over and over.
I'm sorry this has nothing to do with you and your problem.
I was trying to point out that sometimes our self worth can be wrongly tied to our job performance, and it might take the right med strength or combo to get us over the hump. Doing the right thing and trying to be positive sometimes isn't enough
I think there is a point in here somewhere,
James K
Posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2006, at 19:22:02
In reply to Re: Is there something else I should be doing? » deniseuk, posted by James K on January 17, 2006, at 15:53:06
Oh definitely working ties into your self esteem. Not working for a number of years has added immensly to depression. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by gibber on January 17, 2006, at 20:15:23
In reply to Re: Is there something else I should be doing? » James K, posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2006, at 19:22:02
Oh i so relate!!!! Temps jobs (i'm doing that now), friends, lovers, and what does this all have to do with medication. All I can say now is that meds are just a tool for me, I'm still looking for that elusive drug or dosage that will turn my life around. I have only read that some people find it. I'm not sure what that means for the rest of us who haven't found it yet (keep looking). I often find my few friends a necessity rather than a pleasure. I know if someone were to love me, my depression would be better, but I always feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place when it comes to developing relationships. The problem is not being healthy enough to make contacts even though the connections will be beneficial. My low dose Nardil has enable me to work a little more effectively but I had to give up a music performance career a few years ago because of this damn disease. Thanks for listen to some philosophical musings, I'll hopefully see a talk therapist in a few weeks to vent this stuff.
Posted by deniseuk on January 18, 2006, at 10:54:40
In reply to Re: Is there something else I should be doing?, posted by gibber on January 17, 2006, at 20:15:23
Hi,
Thanks for your responses but I know for sure this anxiety and depression has absolutely nothing to do with my job. The depression started after I'd actually been given a pay rise.
I could have the most wonderful job, win the lottery, be lying on an idyllic beach somewhere with 0 stress and still feel depressed and anxious.
Kind Regards.....Denise
Posted by James K on January 18, 2006, at 12:08:14
In reply to Re: Is there something else I should be doing?, posted by deniseuk on January 18, 2006, at 10:54:40
Yeah, I kind of literally started freaking out because the job thing triggered me.
That was my first undeniable sign that after a couple of months, my meds just aren't working. I know to be like "other people" I'm going to have to find a medication that does some good and that I can stand. Plus it is my belief that until I deal with underlying deepseated childhood stuff, I will eventually override any med with my negativity.
I went somewhere else and dealt with what was happening to me.
so sorry I kind of hijacked your thread focusing on just one small issue of your post.
James K
This is the end of the thread.
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