Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart98 on October 9, 2005, at 18:50:45
I have went throught absolute HELL with having going into emergency mode becuase my thoughts i feel get off track. I have had almost near 35 posts on going insane since 2004.
I went through trama with extreme stress, last year. God im afraid to post any more becuase im afraid it will come back.
Lets not talk about it.
What is it, can it actually happen? I have panic attacks when i fear im going insane, i am so alert, i feel im on pure amphetamine.
Do you know what to post please?
Posted by Phillipa on October 9, 2005, at 19:23:16
In reply to What phobia is fearing going insane?, posted by rjlockhart98 on October 9, 2005, at 18:50:45
Matt, just remember what that doctor said. You are not going insane. And I loved the pictures you posted. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by spriggy on October 9, 2005, at 22:51:20
In reply to Re: What phobia is fearing going insane? » rjlockhart98, posted by Phillipa on October 9, 2005, at 19:23:16
Some days, my thoughts are absolutely plagued with the fear of going insane and losing myself in the darkness of my mind.
I don't know... I am working hard on casting my cares on the Lord and removing myself from this horrific FEAR.
FEAR is torture- it's not from God and I am trying to battle this in the spiritual sense instead of trying to figure out what's wrong in my brain.
Just know you aren't alone. It crosses my mind EVERY single day.
Posted by Maxime on October 10, 2005, at 1:12:01
In reply to What phobia is fearing going insane?, posted by rjlockhart98 on October 9, 2005, at 18:50:45
Hi Matt. I think you think too much. If you think all the time about your anxiety etc. then you will drive yourself nuts.
You need to have stuff in your life that you care about and that you have a passion for. For some people it's painting or writing. For others it's reading or doing volunteer work.
Get outside of your head for a while and go out and play. You will be surprised to see what you will find. Don't let your mental problems define you. You are so much more. There is so much more.
I know you have a strong faith in God. Maybe find a church/youth group with the same beliefs as you and make some friends. You need some real people in your life other than your family (who cause you so much pain). You need some friends. I know you find it hard to be accepted by people so I think a youth group would be a fun and cool idea. Those groups can do a lot of good for the community as well.
Seek and ye shall find. :-) I really think that is the answer.
Try it now. Right down about Matt on paper. The only thing is, you can't write anything about anxiety or medication. Eventually you will discover a lot about Matt that you didn't know existed.
Good luck with your explorations!
Maxime
> I have went throught absolute HELL with having going into emergency mode becuase my thoughts i feel get off track. I have had almost near 35 posts on going insane since 2004.
>
> I went through trama with extreme stress, last year. God im afraid to post any more becuase im afraid it will come back.
>
> Lets not talk about it.
>
> What is it, can it actually happen? I have panic attacks when i fear im going insane, i am so alert, i feel im on pure amphetamine.
>
> Do you know what to post please?
Posted by djmmm on October 10, 2005, at 10:04:25
In reply to Re: What phobia is fearing going insane? » rjlockhart98, posted by Maxime on October 10, 2005, at 1:12:01
Matt
I couldn't agree more with Maxime's comments.
We are all taught by our psychologists and psychiatrists to become more introspective-- as a tool to really grasp/understand our feelings and emotions-- Sometimes through this we become our own worst ememy. We begin to overthink, overanalyze, we become emotional hypochondriacs, supersensitive to every emotion, every ache and pain.
It IS good to recognize your emotions appropriately, but ruminating thoughts lead to an "all or nothing" mentality ("don't make mountains out of mole hills"). Like Maxiene was saying, try to find an outlet for your anxiety, anything--gardening, running, writing, photography.
When I start feeeling my depression creap up on me, I clean. When my anxiety makes me want to craw out of my skin, I go for a jog, I do some yoga.
It may sound silly, and it may sound like I'm trivializing your problems, or that I believe that you can "will the pain away," I know you can't, I certainly can't. And I dont pretend to understand the complexities of what you deal with.
I do know that, at some point or another, we are all on the same boat, I KNOW the anxiety that keeps you inside for days, the "I'm having a heart attack, I must be dying, people are following me, anxiety"... and I KNOW the depression the infiltrates every aspect of your being...but I also know the unforgetable feeling of that day when I began to feel better. (through medication, yoga, meditation, writing, art)
Even in recovery I have the fear that I will end up losing myself again. As hokey as it sounds, I have a mantra: "You are not your illness." When you forget that you are so much more than the sum of your emotions, you lose track of everything that really makes up who you are.
d
Posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2005, at 18:27:05
In reply to Re: What phobia is fearing going insane?, posted by djmmm on October 10, 2005, at 10:04:25
Excellent post. I need to do the same thing. My husband may have contributed to it by making me write down time of day I take my meds, how much, and how I feel. I have stacks of notebooks and I become even more upset if I read back in time. It reminds me of how long this has been going on and how much better I felt in the past when I thought nothing could be worse than the way I felt at that time. And I ruminate constantly. If nothing is wrong you can bet that in five minutes something will be. Thanks, Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart98 on October 10, 2005, at 20:52:31
In reply to Re: What phobia is fearing going insane? » djmmm, posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2005, at 18:27:05
Thank you ALL for posting.
Well the thing is sometimes these thoughts interupt what im doing. Ill have a thought, that seems not "normal" and ill go crazy inside.
I stopped jogging and working out, and started smoking..... i cant belive i did this. Its something to get away to but sometimes it makes it worse! Nicotine agitates thinking.
I pray to God everytime i have a wierd thought or i feel im drifting off, in the depth of my mind. Pray pray pray!
I have been talking about this a long time. A long time... i need to focus off it, like maxime, and djm suggested. This happened all about a year ago when i thought i was drifting out of my body, i was never the same. I became a worried person, afraid it will happen agian.
Maxime suggested Cognitive Behavior Therapy, i go to used to go to psyhodynamic therpay. It didnt help much, i went 2 years and nothing. This was even before all this insane thinking happned. I used to have a problem with depression and ADHD. Then this. It plaged me.
When it was in its main stream about November of 2004 i used to say its going to end, it will pass.
I have been posting i think since late 2003, and i want to thank all of you for being here. I plan to stay here.
I know to God that I can be delivered. I am going to join a prayer group at church.
Thank you everone
Matt
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