![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 66. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:41
I had another appt. today with my pdoc. He is grasping at straws now. He says there are many biochemical reasons why I am unable to tolerate my Parnate even at 10 mg however when I pressed him to tell me some he wasn't able to. I did tell him I tried to combine the Desipramine and the Parnate for a couple of days. He didn't freak out in fact he said he has done that before with patients. So now I am to take 25 mg of Desipramine 3 times a day. I don't think this is going to help me. I told him I was suicidal and I had plans. I told him I wasn't going to kill myself today or even this week but it would be soon. He said that we couldn't give up. Okay. But "we" aren't the one suffering. It's me. I can't believe he doesn't throw me into the hospital. Any other pdoc I have had would throw me into the hospital for being so suicidal. Maybe it's because he works in a psychiatric hospital and I am good shape compared to anyone he sees there. I'm glad. I have never really been helped by any of my hospitalizations except for when I went psychotic from Topomax and then Wellbutrin. I was so scared I wanted to be in the hospital. But I am not scared now.
Maxime
Posted by partlycloudy on March 29, 2005, at 13:43:34
In reply to My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:41
Forgive me if it's been suggested before (and I realize that you're getting lots of well meaning advice here), but what about a second opinion? I have had too many doctors who graduated from the BOTTOM half of their class treat me. It's at times like this when you are least able that you have to be a really savvy patient/consumer of services.
You are worthy of getting the best possible care, Maxime. It's such a shame to see you having such a terrible time of it. My heart goes out to you.
pc
Posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 14:14:26
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » Maxime, posted by partlycloudy on March 29, 2005, at 13:43:34
Hi PC - yes, well I live in Montreal, Quebec which is draconian when it comes to mental health care. I can only receive treatment from a doctor within my postal area. Mental health care was sectorized. So even if there was an amazing pdoc who specialised in treatment resistant depression at Hospital A, Hospital A would have to be in my sector for me to see him.
The pdoc I see now works from his home and therefore does not have to abide by the sectorisation code. He also works in a psych hospital. That hospital is not in my sector therefore he cannot refer me to any of his colleagues. The hospital in my sector is French. I saw the pdoc (yes small hospital, one pdoc) there 2 years ago and he said that all I needed was to be in a relationship and be sexually active. I swore at him for 2 minutes in French and left. I will not go back. If I am in a crisis situation I can go to any hospital I choose and I will not be turned away ... but I will be transferred to the same f'ing hospital in my sector. Talk about going postal!
I love Canada, I love living in Montreal where it is melting pot of cultures and I love being billingual. But the mental health care system sucks. It's disgusting.So that's why I can't get a second opinion. Imagine telling that to a cancer or cardiac patient.
Maxi
> Forgive me if it's been suggested before (and I realize that you're getting lots of well meaning advice here), but what about a second opinion? I have had too many doctors who graduated from the BOTTOM half of their class treat me. It's at times like this when you are least able that you have to be a really savvy patient/consumer of services.
>
> You are worthy of getting the best possible care, Maxime. It's such a shame to see you having such a terrible time of it. My heart goes out to you.
> pc
Posted by partlycloudy on March 29, 2005, at 14:45:28
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » partlycloudy, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 14:14:26
Here, let me tear your hair out for you...
It just seems quite barbaric! And BTW, Montreal is my hometown. We moved when I was quite young - part of the exodus of the anglos in the 70's. It is a wonderful city, you are right.Please persevere, and keep doing your research, and feed your p-doc the ideas he appears to need to prescribe you the right meds.
You'll get through this, mon amie.
pc
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 15:40:33
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » partlycloudy, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 14:14:26
Ugh. Not a fun place to be.
Last year, being without insurance, I was treated by an agency with a county contract, and had no control over the doctor I saw. (The county policy, by the way, PUBLISHED and everything, said that you could always change your provider within their contracted agency. Too bad the providers apparently couldn't read...) I went through hell. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I want you to know that you're not alone, and there is hope.
You know, I heard that a lot last year, and it always felt so condescending when I did. I don't mean it as in "there's always hope, after all -- tomorrow is another day!" I mean that as in "I lived through utter hell last year, I thought that nothing could ever get better, that death was the only possible way out -- and it changed for me." That sort of "there is hope."
I won't ask you to offer up a list of everything you've tried, along with their effects. Instead, I'll offer up some of what I did that helped me. Maybe some of it could be helpful for you.
First of all, I looked into what support groups were available in my area. I tried some depression focussed groups, which did not meet my needs, and found a great ED group which is close to my salvation. It's great, and I love it -- the one place I feel able to relax and be honest. No matter how ashamed I am of my feelings or behaviors, there's always at least one other person saying, "Hey! Me too!" Usually everyone in the group says it. It feels so very, very comforting to be there. (Although getting there the first time was hellishly hard.)
Also, I did a fair amount of research online about eating disorders and how they affect depression treatment. For example, SSRIs don't work in anorexics, because we are too deficient in serotonin until we've acheived nutritional rehabilitation. Certain anxiolytics might be helpful, but only at weird doses. That sort of information is there, if you dig for it. What would have made it a hell of a lot easier for me, when I was doing this research, would have been getting down to our local medical library. In my area, there's the Planetree Library, which is free, non-profit, and provides access to about a gazillion different medical journals. They have a lot of them in a searchable database, so that you don't have to wade through six foot high stacks of magazines. At the time, though, I was too anxious to leave the house. Sucked. The research I did do helped a lot, though.
There are also some good websites about how eating disorders can affect mental health treatment. Some have great bulletin boards, which helped me a lot. Just having a place to vent when life was at its worst was so helpful. (I also did a lot of venting here. Thankfully, the Psycho Babblers -- and wouldn't that be a great name for a rock band? -- are a great group of very, very patient and tolerant people.)
Listen, Maxime, I know that you're talking about treating your depression, and I'm talking about eating disorders. It's not that I'm not listening to you, and it's not that I'm not able to hear you. It's just that I know that the eating disorder and the depression are symbiots, and that one affects the other, no matter what else is going on. You can't separate one from the other any more than you can treat the blood pressure in your thumb without affecting the blood pressure in your elbow. They are too deeply integrated. Even if you do not believe that now, please believe that I am saying it -- not for your own good, but simply because I do care and because I wish I could help in some way to ease your suffering.
My final suggestion is this: look into finding some little thing you can do, without too much trouble, that feels good to you. When you need a break from life, use that feel good thing, whatever it is. For me, at different times, it might be curling up in a quilt on the sofa for a nap -- usually with at least one cat -- or reading a book, or knitting, or sometimes just sitting on my balcony, with a cigarette and a catalog full of pictures of things I can't afford. (NOT clothing catalogs, though...)
My very best wishes for an improving outlook for you, Maxime, and if you want some of the articles I've found helpful for me, feel free to babblemail me -- I promise I'm not any other babbler in disguise ;-P
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2005, at 17:15:27
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » Maxime, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 15:40:33
Maxime, I'm sure glad I don't live in Canada with that mental health care system. At least here you can go into any hospital you want that has a psych floor, or to a specialized psych hospital. I hope it gets better soon. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 17:28:50
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2005, at 17:15:27
We can go to any hospital we choose -- IF we are either insured with a company that will cover it, or we can prove that we can self-pay.
For the tens of millions of Americans who do not have health insurance, access to medical care -- let alone psychiatric care -- is not as easy as "choice."
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 17:36:38
In reply to My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:41
By the way, when you write that your doctor can't help you, are you fully aware that the deficit lies on his side of the net? It's not that YOU are such a problem that no one and nothing can help you, no matter how much it may feel that way. It means that HE does not have the knowledge, the tools, the experience to help you.
I hope that you aren't blaming yourself for his failure.
Be well.
Posted by banga on March 29, 2005, at 17:55:34
In reply to Another thought » Maxime, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 17:36:38
Getting help and finding what works is a hell journey. It sucks. I hope it does help you to feel less alone, as most on this board have gone through something similar at one time or another.....
But I truly wanted to jump in to also say what a great couple of posts here written to you on this thread. Collectively, members of this board (barring a few outliers) constitute one darn great therapist and psychopharmacologist. Sort of a large multilimned creature with many many heads...
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2005, at 18:14:22
In reply to Not exactly true » Phillipa, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 17:28:50
Sorry Racer if my post was not entirely clear. What I meant was that if you were in really bad shape, or needed a referral, a hospital could admit you and help you get medicaid if you qualified, or refer you to a mental health clinic where they base what you pay on income. I know one of the pdocs I saw, took medicaid pts and they only paid $3 a visit. I was behind one at his office when they paid. If you are of danger to yourself or others either psychiatrically or medically, an ER is obligated to tx you regardless of money. The private psych hospital does indeed require insurance or self-pay. Was this any better? I hope so. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 18:29:53
In reply to Re: Not exactly true, posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2005, at 18:14:22
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2005, at 18:43:26
In reply to That's a soapbox of mine, thanks for explaining (nm) » Phillipa, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 18:29:53
I can understand why! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 19:19:18
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » Maxime, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 15:40:33
I know you mean well Racer, and I am sorry when I get frustrated with people who are only trying to help. It makes me feel worse about myself then I add on more guilt and loath myself even more.
I know more about eating disorders and depression than anyone without a med degree should know. I was blessed and cursed with a photographic memory and an IQ of 182. When I was teaching at a university I could spot plagiarism and be able to write in the name of the book and which page it was taken from without looking it up. So believe me, I have READ a lot of med journals etc. and I know the names of the researchers and their studies.
However, another thing to consider is which came first? For me it was the depression as a child which later turned out to be bipolar illness. The eating disorder came later. This indicates that my depression is biochemical and not brought on by the ED. Although I fully know that if you starve yourself you are starving your brain. A starved brain is a depressed brain.
My 182 IQ brain knows all this. My anorexic brain does not. The two do not seem to talk much to each other because the anorexic brain thinks that the other part of the brain is lying to it and fooling it to tell my "hunger center" to eat something. It's like having the little cartoon devil and angel on each side.
My doctor is not deficient when it comes to treating mood disoders. He has been a psychiatrist for over 40 years. He knows all the meds and different ways to use them and is not afraid to try something that might be considered contraindicated. In January I couldn't pay for my Trileptal and Adderall because I was broke. I went through withdrawal and he phone the pharmacy and told them to charge the meds to his VISA. He wouldn't let me pay him back. When it comes to eating disorders he doesn't know jack sh*t in my opinion but then again many pdocs don't.
All available medications have been exhausted. I have no need to be on anything like inderal which would have me passing out all the time because my BP is 80/60. That is my normal BP.
Right now I eat 500 calories a day. I don't deprive myself completly of food. I'm also petite so I don't require as many calories. I'm maintaining my weight at 500 calories. I am in the high normal weight range for my height. It's disgusting.
Support groups trigger me. I want to be the thinnest. They are not healthy for me.What I need more than anything is a psychologist who specialises in EDs. But I have no money. So I have been on a waiting list for 14 months now to see one on a sliding fee scale. 14 months.
I am proud to be Canadian and proud of my country. I do not agree with all the politics, especially in Quebec. But that is a discussion for another board.
I guess that's it.
Maxime
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 19:39:25
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 19:19:18
OK. Well, if you already know anything that I can tell you, I guess I'll shut up.
Posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 20:28:08
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » Maxime, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 19:39:25
> OK. Well, if you already know anything that I can tell you, I guess I'll shut up.
>
>I was just telling you what I know and more about my pdoc and my situation. I wouldn't tell anyone to shut up, except for one person on this board.
I am just looking for a little morale support since I don't have any in real life. You have never seen me post anything about "what med should I take" or anything along those lines. That is because I know it it impossible for you to know my situation.
I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't around here. I'm sorry.
I need to cut ... but I musn't ...
Maxi
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 20:59:24
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 20:28:08
> > OK. Well, if you already know anything that I can tell you, I guess I'll shut up.
> >
> >
>
> I was just telling you what I know and more about my pdoc and my situation. I wouldn't tell anyone to shut up, except for one person on this board.
>
> I am just looking for a little morale support since I don't have any in real life. You have never seen me post anything about "what med should I take" or anything along those lines. That is because I know it it impossible for you to know my situation.
>
> I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't around here. I'm sorry.
>
> I need to cut ... but I musn't ...
>
> Maxi
I'm sorry, Maxi. I took out my own upset on you, and you sure as hell don't deserve it. It was wrong of me to write that, and it was entirely my own state coming out.Maybe you can understand a little if I tell you a little of what was going on for me? I'll try, but you do not have to read it.
I am in the process of writing a series of formal complaints about some, shall we say, "suboptimal" treatment I received last year for depression. There is a local law firm, run by the local Bar Association, which handles complaints about mental health care in this county, and an attorney there had taken on the investigation of my complaints. Their merit review came back saying that my complaints "lacked merit" with the exception of the fact that they had failed to note that I lost about 50 pounds -- roughly a third of my body weight -- during a relapse of AN. This despite my telling the people "treating" me that I was experiencing this relapse.
So, I'm writing the complaint myself. It's triggering me, because I can't seem to distance myself from those experiences emotionally, and because I have such poor skills in dealing with anger in general.
Today, the attorney emailed me her notes from her discussions with the providers in question. They say such things as "client wanted to focus on the upcoming holidays instead of on her ED symptoms" -- well, the fact is that I didn't have any ED symptoms to focus on (and hadn't for nearly a decade) until after Valentines Day, so there was nothing to say about it all before Christmas! Almost everything in these notes is technically true, in a similar fashion, but none of it is accurate. And based on this information -- inaccurate as it is -- they concluded that my complaint lacks merit.
I'm guessing you can see where I might be feeling a little frustrated today? When I read your post, I found it frustrating, and lashed out.
Once again, I am very sorry, Maxi, that you're going through this. I agree that many doctors do not know nearly as much as they'd like to think about eating disorders, and that makes it so very frustrating to deal with them.
I have a question, though, but feel free to ignore it. I don't know anything about thyroid problems, but my new psychiatrist -- Dr CattleProd for anyone keeping track -- has brought up using thyroid meds even for women who test in the normal range, to push them close to or sometimes over the top of that range. I'm curious about what sorts of thyroid tests you've had done and how they're coming out now that you're on meds for it?
Maxi, I really do wish that I could take back my little tantrum, and hope that you can hear that I am sincere.
Posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 21:35:16
In reply to I'm sorry » Maxime, posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 20:59:24
I hear your sincerity Racer. Honestly, I do.
I can empathize with what you are going through with the whole lawyer etc. situation. I went through the same thing when I was in the ER once. I overheard the nurses putting me down. I had OD'd (cry for help) and they were saying how I didn't deserve the bed. They changed me into one of those stupid hospital gowns and did not close the drapes so I was exposed ... literally. Then the charcoal was taking effect and I was begging for a bed pan or to be let out of bed to use the washroom and they wouldn't listen to me so I had an um, an accident in my bed which was not a pretty site and I was so embarrassed. I sat there in my own poop with charcoal smeared all over my face (no one had given me a cloth to clean my face).
Anyhow that was the time I heard them say I didn't deserve a bed. I wrote to the ombudsman about my experience and I receive a letter saying that the nurses "may have" been out of line.
Just writing about it now is making me cry so I can only imagine what you are going through.
As for the thyroid situation. My psychiatrist phoned my endo and asked him to use some cytomel with the synthroid to help with my depression. But my endo doesn't believe in that ( that cytomel can help depression) and most do not like to use it because it's not as safe as synthroid. Personally I would like to be taking Armour, a natural thyroid replacement. My endo likes to keep me just on the border of "hyper" so I am fortunate in that respect. But I still have symptoms of hypothyroidism - exhaustion, sore joints, my body temperature is low, my periods are heavy and I have slow reflexes, weight gain despite low caloric intake. I know there is something wrong with my metabolic system, whether it is caused by my years of anorexia or just something I have. I don't feel right. I know that sounds vague, but I know my body and it just does not feel right. I was adopted so I have no family health history to go on. I did receive the files but I guess 36 years ago not too many details were given. It was noted that my both my parents suffered from depression. It's funny, I always thought I was the result of a teenage pregnancy. It turns out my birth mom was in her 40's when she had me and was a widow. The man she was with would not marry or stay with her because of me so she gave me up.
Well that was quite the ramble. I'm sorry you are going through such an awful time right now. But at least you are in recovery and that takes a lot of courage. Something I don't have right now.
Hugs,
Maxime
> > > OK. Well, if you already know anything that I can tell you, I guess I'll shut up.
> > >
> > >
> >
> > I was just telling you what I know and more about my pdoc and my situation. I wouldn't tell anyone to shut up, except for one person on this board.
> >
> > I am just looking for a little morale support since I don't have any in real life. You have never seen me post anything about "what med should I take" or anything along those lines. That is because I know it it impossible for you to know my situation.
> >
> > I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't around here. I'm sorry.
> >
> > I need to cut ... but I musn't ...
> >
> > Maxi
>
>
> I'm sorry, Maxi. I took out my own upset on you, and you sure as hell don't deserve it. It was wrong of me to write that, and it was entirely my own state coming out.
>
> Maybe you can understand a little if I tell you a little of what was going on for me? I'll try, but you do not have to read it.
>
> I am in the process of writing a series of formal complaints about some, shall we say, "suboptimal" treatment I received last year for depression. There is a local law firm, run by the local Bar Association, which handles complaints about mental health care in this county, and an attorney there had taken on the investigation of my complaints. Their merit review came back saying that my complaints "lacked merit" with the exception of the fact that they had failed to note that I lost about 50 pounds -- roughly a third of my body weight -- during a relapse of AN. This despite my telling the people "treating" me that I was experiencing this relapse.
>
> So, I'm writing the complaint myself. It's triggering me, because I can't seem to distance myself from those experiences emotionally, and because I have such poor skills in dealing with anger in general.
>
> Today, the attorney emailed me her notes from her discussions with the providers in question. They say such things as "client wanted to focus on the upcoming holidays instead of on her ED symptoms" -- well, the fact is that I didn't have any ED symptoms to focus on (and hadn't for nearly a decade) until after Valentines Day, so there was nothing to say about it all before Christmas! Almost everything in these notes is technically true, in a similar fashion, but none of it is accurate. And based on this information -- inaccurate as it is -- they concluded that my complaint lacks merit.
>
> I'm guessing you can see where I might be feeling a little frustrated today? When I read your post, I found it frustrating, and lashed out.
>
> Once again, I am very sorry, Maxi, that you're going through this. I agree that many doctors do not know nearly as much as they'd like to think about eating disorders, and that makes it so very frustrating to deal with them.
>
> I have a question, though, but feel free to ignore it. I don't know anything about thyroid problems, but my new psychiatrist -- Dr CattleProd for anyone keeping track -- has brought up using thyroid meds even for women who test in the normal range, to push them close to or sometimes over the top of that range. I'm curious about what sorts of thyroid tests you've had done and how they're coming out now that you're on meds for it?
>
> Maxi, I really do wish that I could take back my little tantrum, and hope that you can hear that I am sincere.
Posted by Racer on March 29, 2005, at 22:54:21
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » Racer, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 21:35:16
Thank you, Maxime. Having you accept my apology means a lot to me.
Your problems with getting coordinated care are awful. Damn that just makes me so angry! The worst of it is that you're not being heard when you tell them that something is not right! I went through something similar when I was in college, with a UTI that wouldn't go away. The doctor kept blaming me, lecturing me about taking all the meds, etc -- which I was doing, every time she prescribed the same dose of Tetracycline -- until after I got out of the hospital where I landed with a kidney infection caused by a drug resistent bacteria!
Best luck to you, Maxi, and once again -- thank you.
Posted by barbaracat on March 31, 2005, at 16:16:52
In reply to Re: I'm sorry » Racer, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 21:35:16
Hi Maxine,
Ooh, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes it's so uncomfortable to be alive and to have a fumbling pdoc you don't have confidence in makes it seem even more bleak. I simply do not understand how some of these folks made it through the rigours of medical school.
About hospitalization, I've been through 2, most recently late January. It was basically a Zen, minimalist experience, a time out of time fueled by plenty of lorazepam. Didn't 'help' me, but gave me a time out to reasses things, and I must admit, a hidden motive was to drive the screws of awareness into my husband's brain that things really have been that bad for me.If you think you need to be hospitalized, is it so different in Canada as in the US? We merely have to show up at the Emergency Room stating we're suicidal, and they have to admit you. No matter what you're financial status is, each state has money earmarked for this and it's usually better for the patient financially and the level of care than relying on what's allowed by insurance. This was told to me by a pretty open mental health care worker, that hospitals must take you and ER depts are the place to go. The fact that you're admitting you have plans to your current pdoc and he's not taking it seriously is cause for concern. There must be a way to find out for sure that you have this recourse if you need it.
> As for the thyroid situation.
**Thyroid, very very important, mucho important. Mine has been hypo most of my life and since starting Lithium, has bounced all over. I have fibromyalgia and the symptoms are identical to low thryoid. My TSH literally ping-pongs. Long story short, I've tried Armour and the others and the ratio of T3 is far too high for my bipolar anxiety in these natural formulations. What has worked very well is Synthroid with a small about (10mg) of Cytomel. I've had numerous trials of T4 alone and it just didn't work. T3 alone, ick, too much anxiety. But the two have been very stable and the fibro symtpoms are all but gone. My TSH is very low, skimming hyper, which is where I feel best.
I really encourage you to insist on a trial of Cytomel. No matter what your doctor thinks of it, the important thing is what you think of it. Hang in there. - Barbara
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 31, 2005, at 23:18:27
In reply to My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:41
maxime..you are upset your pdoc wouldnt "throw" you into the hospital?
you are a very clever person...what is it that you want?
more meds?
ability to help yourself?
someone to take care of you?
the canadian health care system is not to blame ..
nor the pdoc..
it is the illness..
try to find out waht it is that you do need...
go from there..
j
Posted by Sarah T. on April 1, 2005, at 0:01:48
In reply to My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on March 29, 2005, at 12:50:41
There are so many incompetent, incapable doctors. It's appalling, frustrating and maddening! I read that in ancient China, patients paid doctors only when they (the patients) were well, so that provided an incentive for the doctors to help and heal the patients.
Posted by Maxime on April 1, 2005, at 0:18:39
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me » Maxime, posted by justyourlaugh on March 31, 2005, at 23:18:27
> maxime..you are upset your pdoc wouldnt "throw" you into the hospital?
No, not upset at all. Surprised.
> you are a very clever person...what is it that you want?I am a very clever person. I fall into the class of genius. I want my brain back.
> more meds?
Dear god, no more meds! No more f*cking meds!
> ability to help yourself?
Ability to change the system so that it benefits both the patient and the doctor. If my endocrinologist would agree to work with my pdoc, I might actually see some progress. I am convinced that my mood problems are linked to a metabolic problem. But my endocrinologist would not listen to my pdoc and I do not have the ability to make him listen unless I hire someone from the mob here in Montreal. I don't have the funds to do that.
> someone to take care of you?
I can take care of myself but it would be nice for someone to tell me (in real life) that it's okay for me to be sick at times and that sleeping in the afternoon isn't a sign of laziness.
> the canadian health care system is not to blame
Well it's not helping is it? The Health Minister is not allocating enough money into mental health. There are no incentives to keep our psychiatrists here. They all move to U.S. where they will get paid more. Waiting 9-12 months to see a psychiatrist is not okay. That is 9-12 months of my life put on the back burner. So yes, it's very much to blame. Of all the people requiring medical care, those with mental health problems are the LEAST able to advocate for themselves. ER doctors aren't trained to deal with psychiatric patients.
There is a bridge in Montreal - The Jacques Cartier Bridge. Many people complete suicides from that bridge. So someone in Health Canada PAID researchers to see if it would be worthwhile to put up barriers to stop people from jumping of the bridge. After ONE YEAR of research it was decided that "yes" barrier should be put up. The barriers are there now. Well less people have completed suicide from the bridge. HOWEVER, the percentage of attempts have gone up dramatically. Why did they have to do a year's worth of research? That money could have used to help people. Out of all the Provinces, Quebec has the highest number of suicides per capita. There is a problem.
> nor the pdoc..
Well if the pdoc tells you that if you had partner and were sexually active then all would be well then YES, the pdoc is contributing to MY problem because nowhere in the DSM under the criteria for depression does it read "is not getting shagged three times a week". Walking out of his office with a prescription for sex is not all that helpful.
Tamara on this board was kind enough to seek out some studies that are being done in Ontario for me. A person, I don't even know did this for me. I haven't been able to follow up. Tamara emailed me and said my Pdoc should be doing it. I realised she is right and so I phoned him and told him about it. He told me to call and get the information from them. I can write clearly right now. But my speech is another thing. I can't find my words. I can't pick up that phone and call these people.
> it is the illness..
Which would be under control if all the above were in place which it isn't.
> try to find out waht it is that you do need...
> go from there..
> jI NEED MY BRAIN! That is what I need. So where do I go from here? Right back to beginning where I stated that I am classified as a genius.
I'm going in circles and I can't do it anymore.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on April 1, 2005, at 0:31:01
In reply to Hospital and Cytomel » Maxime, posted by barbaracat on March 31, 2005, at 16:16:52
Hi Barbara:
If I went to the hospital and said that I was suicidal I would be seen by a doctor and then by a social worker or psych nurse. They would then talk to the pdoc on call. Unless I am going to kill myself when I leave the hospital they will tell me to leave. I may not even be seen by a pdoc. I could lie and say "yes, when I go out the doors of the hospital I am going to "fill in the blank". But I am not going to lie. Of course if I was going psychotic or manic they would put me on a 24 hour hold. I have the unfortunate "luck" of seeming very together when I am really losing it. I had one pdoc when I lived in Alberta who finally realised it. When I would go into the hospital she would tell the pdoc in charge of my case to be cautious of that and not to be fooled. I miss her. She was a great pdoc. She was very caring and she did excellent psychotherapy with me.
I have asked my endo twice to put me on the cytomel in combination with the Synthroid. He won't do it. My pdoc called him and asked ... he won't do it. The only good thing is that he does like my TSH to be borderline hyperthyroid. Not that it does any good.
Thanks for your input Barbara. I appreciate it.
Maxi
> Hi Maxine,
> Ooh, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes it's so uncomfortable to be alive and to have a fumbling pdoc you don't have confidence in makes it seem even more bleak. I simply do not understand how some of these folks made it through the rigours of medical school.
>
> About hospitalization, I've been through 2, most recently late January. It was basically a Zen, minimalist experience, a time out of time fueled by plenty of lorazepam. Didn't 'help' me, but gave me a time out to reasses things, and I must admit, a hidden motive was to drive the screws of awareness into my husband's brain that things really have been that bad for me.
>
> If you think you need to be hospitalized, is it so different in Canada as in the US? We merely have to show up at the Emergency Room stating we're suicidal, and they have to admit you. No matter what you're financial status is, each state has money earmarked for this and it's usually better for the patient financially and the level of care than relying on what's allowed by insurance. This was told to me by a pretty open mental health care worker, that hospitals must take you and ER depts are the place to go. The fact that you're admitting you have plans to your current pdoc and he's not taking it seriously is cause for concern. There must be a way to find out for sure that you have this recourse if you need it.
>
> > As for the thyroid situation.
>
> **Thyroid, very very important, mucho important. Mine has been hypo most of my life and since starting Lithium, has bounced all over. I have fibromyalgia and the symptoms are identical to low thryoid. My TSH literally ping-pongs. Long story short, I've tried Armour and the others and the ratio of T3 is far too high for my bipolar anxiety in these natural formulations. What has worked very well is Synthroid with a small about (10mg) of Cytomel. I've had numerous trials of T4 alone and it just didn't work. T3 alone, ick, too much anxiety. But the two have been very stable and the fibro symtpoms are all but gone. My TSH is very low, skimming hyper, which is where I feel best.
>
> I really encourage you to insist on a trial of Cytomel. No matter what your doctor thinks of it, the important thing is what you think of it. Hang in there. - Barbara
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 1, 2005, at 10:54:20
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on April 1, 2005, at 0:18:39
yes you can maxime..
go around one more time..and then another..
we are all here to listen..
we understand..
look to the left of you , we are wondering around the track beside you.
j
Posted by Phillipa on April 1, 2005, at 10:58:54
In reply to Re: My doctor can't help me, posted by Maxime on April 1, 2005, at 0:18:39
Since yesterday, when all I'm really able to do is sit and soak my eyes from the surgery, I've been listening to the TV. I heard on the news that a new device is being tried for Bulemia. The pt has a device inserted [like a pacemaker] and it gradually stops people from wanting to purge. I know you have an ED, but I'm not sure what king. Anyway, I thought this might interest you. Oh, and most importantly they said they now know that it has a biological cause and not a mental cause and that's why AD's don't work. So progress seems to be being made. Fondly, Phillipa
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